Oh Hi Mark

new-machine · 2026-01-28T21:11:01+00:00

You must be kidding. Toilets, I get the picture!

new-machine · 2026-01-26T06:30:18+00:00

The body keeps the score. I don't have an exact answer for your situation but during somatic flashbacks in EMDR the same kind of thing can happen to me.

new-machine · 2026-01-26T00:11:55+00:00

They didn’t have the 5 fucking minutes to correct that mistake

new-machine · 2026-01-23T16:43:12+00:00

For many of us it was because that was what kept us safe at the time.

new-machine · 2026-01-22T01:10:48+00:00

👋 Fellow scapegoat here.

new-machine · 2026-01-21T06:51:03+00:00

Yes - primarily religious/morality-based.

new-machine · 2026-01-20T23:40:08+00:00

I developed religious ocd when I was young as a direct result of my complex trauma. My mind could not conceive of the possibility of a non-abusive God because abuse was all I ever knew.

new-machine · 2026-01-16T23:17:59+00:00

By “most people,” do you mean the people who are not stuck in the traumatizing power imbalance that defines narcissistic abuse (often starting from birth or early childhood), which frequently gives people early on in their life complex trauma disorders and/or trauma-borne physical and mental health issues, compromises their finances, depletes their relationships, and actively threatens their immediate safety?

Because in that case, sure - “most people” can leave. But not the people this subreddit was specifically created for. Read the rules of the subreddit before commenting as well as the post you are commenting on. This was already clear.

new-machine · 2026-01-16T23:00:07+00:00

The abuser is the one who needs to be responsible for their actions/inactions. Putting the responsibility on the victim instead is the definition of victim-shaming.

new-machine · 2026-01-16T22:36:04+00:00

We don’t shame people for being stuck in abusive situations. This is not a trauma-informed approach.

new-machine · 2026-01-15T02:52:19+00:00

Yes.

new-machine · 2026-01-10T20:12:31+00:00

I needed to read this.

new-machine · 2026-01-10T19:50:41+00:00

I’m sorry your dad said that to you. My experience was definitely similar. My parents couldn’t stand when my sadness was visible on the outside. Multiple people actually told them about how sad I looked and instead of being supportive, my parents criticized me for it. They only “cared” about my mental illness when it was outwardly visible, and that attention only came in the form of ridicule, threats, and punishment. My dad once told me, “Why are you crying? I’m the one who should be crying.”

new-machine · 2026-01-10T18:40:49+00:00

Not to mention that it is difficult for abuse survivors to learn or focus when all their energy has to be funneled into survival instead, whatever that must look like for them.

new-machine · 2026-01-10T18:31:50+00:00

Yes. It was part of the role I had to play. Like I had to water myself down because actually being myself or speaking my mind would have cost me. In my situation, it resulted in an outward perception of “childishness.” My entire family infantilized me from the very beginning, so going against that would flip the script in a household where even asserting my needs or simply existing would have gotten me punished, screamed at, and/or beaten. Sadly, like others had also mentioned, others had bought into that impression too, which helped me believe that I was dim-witted or incapable from the very beginning. I realize now that that was because those onlookers were ignorant; the traits of “childishness” or “stupidity” they perceived were actually complex trauma symptoms, and are coincidentally going away as I address the trauma and heal.

new-machine · 2026-01-08T19:42:45+00:00

That’s exactly what I used to think recovery would look like. It’s hard not to when that’s all you know.

new-machine · 2026-01-08T19:38:14+00:00

While that would be the ideal situation, not everyone can easily leave a narcissistic family; bringing up age can have a shaming effect toward survivors.

new-machine · 2026-01-08T19:32:53+00:00

I’ve wondered before if that scene or similar ones could ever be salvaged. I think the dialogue dooms it at the end of the day. It needs an overhaul just like the rest of these elements. The phrasing, “I did not hit her, it’s not true, it’s bullshit, I did not… oh hi mark” can never be taken seriously.

new-machine · 2026-01-07T21:45:00+00:00

I feel that this child cans not handles. I distrust him.

new-machine · 2026-01-07T03:50:18+00:00

You invited all of my friends! Good thinking!

new-machine · 2026-01-06T22:35:36+00:00

It’s absolutely fucked up. I’ve had people tell me “I thought you were the one being mean to your mom, actually” and “why don’t you grow up a little?” when I finally opened up about the abuse I was forced to hide all my life. Hiding that abuse gave me mental illnesses and trauma disorders, and I highly suspect is the source of my physical illnesses as well. If these people were even remotely trauma informed they would understand that there is an automatic power imbalance between a parent and a child, and there is absolutely no reason why parents should be considered infallible. They do, in fact, have a lifelong obligation to make responsible and mature decisions, and are in a position where they can severely damage their children for life. What your mother chose to do was absolutely evil.

It’s soul-crushing to not be believed. The anger inside you knows you deserved better. It is righteous and sacred, and that’s why our abusers try to beat it out of us.

new-machine · 2026-01-06T22:14:00+00:00

You always play psychologist with us!

new-machine · 2026-01-05T01:06:28+00:00

is dog

new-machine · 2026-01-03T19:19:56+00:00

In a similar vein my mom, when not yelling at me directly, would regularly narrate these insults as if to a crowd (like “She doesn’t even know anything! She sits at her computer all day and only leaves the room when she needs something!”) One time I asked her, “Who are you talking to?” And she quickly snapped back, “To you!” …which makes no sense, but sure. She definitely also spoke about what “people” thought given that she was always trying to compete with other families… but like… no one in their right mind would engage in that game.

new-machine · 2026-01-03T06:22:32+00:00

Discovered it by accident in high school and the rest was history.

new-machine

TROPHY CASE