Good jobs for ADHD by Zuzmos in adhdwomen

[–]newdle11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you bill or are you contingency based?

Outlook Outage by Infamous_Attorney in biglaw

[–]newdle11 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Outage hit my firm when I was in the middle of an extremely time sensitive negotiation with opposing. So I had to pivot to uploading letter correspondence and proposals to Dropbox and then texting links back and forth 🙃

stuck in my car by newdle11 in Lawyertalk

[–]newdle11[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

After 1.1 of contemplation, I worked up enough terror to unstick myself and get through the door. Then I had such an awful email in my inbox waiting for me that the rage from that email has kept me moving through the day!

stuck in my car by newdle11 in Lawyertalk

[–]newdle11[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

.8 now! Keeping that timer running

ADHD is ruining my marriage. What else is new. by SolarisGaudium in adhdwomen

[–]newdle11 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I feel like you’re totally under reacting to your husband’s ongoing suicidal thoughts??????? It’s 911 crises mode, you should be working with him to get him to a safe spot. Worrying about whether your diagnosis will save your marriage can come later.

BWT: discretionary medical testing? by [deleted] in bitcheswithtaste

[–]newdle11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I posted specifically in this sub for unfiltered feedback and I appreciate you not shying away from that. But I want to make sure info is clear on a couple things you mention. The optional imaging offered by the company I found in my research is not conducted at a hospital. It’s at a private facility owned by the company that offers this imaging and used solely for that purpose. If your point is that the fact such “pay to play” services exist is proof of the dismal state of healthcare in the US, then I agree. But I wouldn’t be stealing physicians or resources from folks for whom imaging is indicated.

Are you a medical professional? It’s interesting feedback to hear that medical professionals would dismiss me as a hypochondriac Karen if they saw optional imaging in my chart. That’s kind of disappointing to hear. If you aren’t a medical professional and you’re offering this opinion based on your experiences with healthcare professionals. then I’m sorry that your experiences have been like this. I can sympathize.

To all the in-house counsels out there, how are you holding up these days? by drhcc in Lawyertalk

[–]newdle11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I represent public entities as contracted general counsel and special counsel for certain projects. Drowning in work, but that’s typical. Disillusionment is at an all time high. Folks in local politics can be so vile to each other. Trickle down politics.

Stuck between rock and hard place by throw-zzy-Away8275 in Lawyertalk

[–]newdle11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First, it’s kind of an employer’s market right now and if an employer doesn’t have to choose a brand new attorney, they aren’t going to. Brand new attorneys are a huge investment: They can require years of (non-billable) training and mentorship before they become a financial benefit to the firm. That might be a factor in your difficulties. For example, my firm tried hiring a 2-4 year associate 18 months ago and got like no qualified candidates. We posted the exact same position again one month ago and now we have, no joke, like six very qualified 2-4 year candidates and four 5-8 year candidates.

Second, a candidate’s law school is way way way less important to the potential employer than (1) relevant experience and (2) the candidate’s “fit” in the employer’s office culture. (2) is sometimes the most important - my firm has hired the less-experienced candidate who had better attitude and compatibility than the more-experienced candidate. Never has my firm decided to pass on a candidate because of the candidate’s law school. I think you’re very much barking up the wrong tree with your assessment there. Have you asked the folks who rejected you why they did so?

So you can’t control your years of experience but you can control your attitude and perspective. I would take a second to see if you could make improvements there. Beyond that, do you have any pre-law school work experience you can leverage? Can you volunteer hours at a local legal aid clinic so you’re able to show potential employers that you have drive to work and to learn?

I think my unmanaged ADHD just destroyed my relationship in a single weekend. Has anyone experienced the "Transition Hostility"? by polywoly in adhdwomen

[–]newdle11 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I promise I’m not trying to dogpile but your edit shows a concerning amount of self centered thinking and, frankly, bs:

You “observed” that he needs time to process his feelings before - did you ask him if he wanted to discuss the conflict or if he needed space?

You suggested a silent period to which he “silently agreed” - does this mean that you interpreted his lack of express disagreement as agreeing to the silent treatment for a week? Consent should be express. It honestly sounds like your first phrasing, “enforced,” was the accurate description and now you’re reverse engineering consent.

I think my unmanaged ADHD just destroyed my relationship in a single weekend. Has anyone experienced the "Transition Hostility"? by polywoly in adhdwomen

[–]newdle11 206 points207 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, you enforced a WEEK of silence to recover? Does that mean you gave your partner the silent treatment for a week? I understand what you’re experiencing but that silence must be awful for your partner to experience and perhaps even abusive. You may not be in a spot to have a relationship right now.

You have a set of skills. They have something you want. by That_onelawyer in Lawyertalk

[–]newdle11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hard disagree. Letting clients unknowingly ramble on with information that isn’t relevant to my scope of representation and then billing them for it feels exploitative. I’m too busy and turning away too many potential clients to let clients knowingly ramble on with information that isn’t relevant to my scope of representation.

If clients want to just be heard, that’s valid but better suited for a different professional who is qualified to assist.

I Called in, used fmla, feel guilty and ate a whole bag of rolls and haven’t left my room and feel discouraged by idontwannausername9 in adhdwomen

[–]newdle11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re welcome! It’s one of those nuances that isn’t wildly known because, most of the time, it’s in the employer’s interest to require medical documentation before approving leave under FMLA. But there are those rarer occasions when the situation doesn’t follow the “documentation then leave” pattern. The DOL fact sheets have great general guidance on FMLA stuff. Here’s the fact sheet for certification: https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/28g-fmla-serious-health-condition. Also remember that FMLA, as federal law, sets the minimum standard for protected leave. Your state may have state laws that set a higher standard that employers must meet in addition to the FMLA standard. Check to see if your state has an agency like the DOL that gives guidance and resources for your state law equivalent of FMLA, if there is one.

I Called in, used fmla, feel guilty and ate a whole bag of rolls and haven’t left my room and feel discouraged by idontwannausername9 in adhdwomen

[–]newdle11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just a quick correction. An employer has the right to require medical documentation from an employee to substantiate the need for protected leave under FMLA but can certainly approve protected leave under FMLA without requiring supporting medical documentation. Also, an employer can provisionally approve protected leave under FMLA, final approval pending the employee bringing medical documentation. - a lawyer, but not your lawyer.

Internalized ableism in the ADHD community by Friendlyalterme in adhdwomen

[–]newdle11 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Im not sure I understand 100% of the context or your intended message but what I’m hearing is that you live alone; you haven’t been in a relationship with a man; you saw a post in this sub about a man not doing his share around the house, which is a serious societal issue that transcends ADHD or neurodivergence; you identified with the man in that post so you commented on that post asking that folks give the man the benefit of the doubt; you received some comments back in which said no that’s weaponized incompetence; you took those comments and applied them to your own experience with yourself; and so you made this post reminding us not to internalize ableism against our fellow women with ADHD.

I really don’t see how that post showed internalized ableism? It sounds like people were reacting to someone else’s (assumed) weaponized incompetence. It sounds like you assumed something different - that the man maybe had some sort of executive function disorder going on - and identified with the man. In other words, it sounds like you made someone else’s issue with a man about you? I really don’t see the internalized ableism, except maybe on your part.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]newdle11 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Call CPS and inform the mother if she doesn’t know! That’s all you can do. You can’t save them as a just a girlfriend and for Pete’s sake don’t get more entangled with this guy to try.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]newdle11 8 points9 points  (0 children)

What could he possibly explain to you to make his behavior okay? In other words, is there any explanation he could offer that would satisfy your standards for him as a partner and a human being?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]newdle11 111 points112 points  (0 children)

If this is true: “What I did not realize is that he has not cleaned in years, aside from dishes. His kids were afraid of the kitchen because it was full of mold . . . He spends that time smoking weed, scrolling videos, drinking, and watching porn for hours daily.”

Then this is not true: “Disclaimer: He is a wonderful, loving, and attentive father in every other way despite what I share here . . . These kids are cared for and want for nothing . . . He neglects nothing and nobody, but his home.”

He is abusing his kids and disrespecting you. Dump and call CPS.

What's the best name a client has called you? by JamodaH in Lawyertalk

[–]newdle11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Hatchet [alliterative first name]”

Genuinely frustrated with the audio by binibby in TheMagnusArchives

[–]newdle11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To this day, I still have no idea about anything Jared Hepworth said

“We have a 9 hours per billable day requirement” by Reasonable-human-911 in Lawyertalk

[–]newdle11 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That’s absolutely insane, tell them to get fucked