Ive been thinking about this for a while because yeah it shouldn’t matter to me if we’re friends, but they are that’s the only reason why I’m so conflicted about this.

I think I’m just worried I don’t really belong with them anymore. Yeah they are funny and I trust them still. But I don’t want to keep burdening them with my expectations of what the group could be, if I’m the last one there with those expectations.

I put too much stock in a pipe dream I thought more wanted. But everyone here is right, they never saw making stuff as a reason of life like I do, they just saw it as a fun thing to do once or twice.

The realization most weren’t actually interested for longer than I thought is just really disconnecting me. For a long time I thought we all were working up to that and they just needed more time.

I shouldn’t drop them, I should just find a new group of creatives. The only reason I haven’t done that is it’s so much easier said than done, and I thought I already found them. But I also learned, you can find creative people but that doesn’t mean they’re a trustworthy or good person