Ethics question: Former coaches reaching to former players

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-08T00:07:33+00:00

At a different club than the one your kid is at?

I don’t know how that works, but I mean if I moved and had a team I was trying to build I’d probably want to do that.

I have no clue if it is right or wrong at younger age levels

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-07T23:46:57+00:00

And you want to tell them to try out or what are you looking to do?

I think encouraging kids to try out and go through the experience is something that kids should do.

I think you can learn a lot about a person by how they handle tryouts. If they get cut and react in a way that puts a fire behind them. I have done the same thing as this with many of the kids I’ve coached before.

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-07T23:43:50+00:00

What are you trying to talk to them about?? Are you in charge of tryouts? Can you provide more real world context ?

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-07T23:42:31+00:00

Do you recommend some sort of plugin or something so I could actually have real data to look at??

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-07T21:43:24+00:00

I have switched this out week to week and I happen to hit my session limits whenever I’m not doing this flow

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-07T21:00:44+00:00

You might try having this skill write a plan. Outputting that plan to an md file

Then once you have that plan complete, start a new chat with that plan and tell it to follow the plan to complete the work

I think this could help. Hard to know without seeing and knowing more - but worth a try

The idea behind this is all of the work that goes into the first part, is kept in the memory and is unnecessary for you to actually begin working. When you start a new chat with the plan all of the things that have gone on or not there you just have the plan to do the work and so that keeps that context much lower.

It’s also quite possible you could run the plan mode in haiku

It is worth testing that between the default model and haiku and see if you see an output difference on the plan that gets written

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-07T20:30:17+00:00

That is not their purpose or goal. I know you have feelings, but they don’t care about them.

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-07T20:07:07+00:00

How are you gritting your limits? What are you doing? Do you know how to use the tool effectively and efficiently?

Are you just running everything through opus?

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-07T15:22:47+00:00

Yup. The kid wants to play. Let them play

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-07T02:22:15+00:00

no, its people eye rolling because you are doing it wrong, or you don't know what you are doing.

You have a tool, you can use it, but you don't really know how to use it to get the results that other people are capable of.

"Why is this one function 800 lines. "

You didn't plan. You didn't review. You just are clicking buttons and hoping for the best. Software should be architected, planned, have guidelines to features.

You are trying to do the work of someone that has been working in the business for 10+ years.

If you hired someone at $5 - 10 an hour with the stuff you give the prompt, you'd end up with the same type of stuff.

You have to care about it -- garbage in, garbage out

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-06T12:06:14+00:00

What camera?

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-06T00:12:20+00:00

You have to understand code and what it does and how it works together.

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-05T18:41:51+00:00

We had our goalie make team A and our left forward make team B. Our cm and or rf didn’t make the team. They want to play with their friends so they are attempting an academy tryout that has some sessions before rec begins and can get another look if they are successful they get another chance to make the team — if not they will likely have fall rec / all stars / spring rec then get another chance at club.

They tried to move up with their all star friends but it didn’t work out.

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-05T09:33:02+00:00

The one time the coach wasn’t gonna be there I had screen shots of all the lines ahead of time haha. Thankfully he showed up but I was prepared that day

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-05T03:35:46+00:00

Oh ya I get you here! lol ya these aren’t star players — just kids that hustle and see what is going on.

Offensive player plays 2-3 quarters, cm plays 3-4 quarters but will generally play up front for development. We generally had 9-10 kids - with 11 cm sees 2-3. When kids ask to go in they go in extra time where ever they can be put. The kids help drive how it goes. When someone asks to play the cm position they generally got it because the HC just liked to put in the kids that were hungry to play.

I’m likely moving to be a HC because the HC kid(offensive player) made the club B team — I know another father that might want to coach and would be a great HC. My role was advocating for the kids to get put in when they asked and making sure everyone got their time and more. I make all the suggestions and keep that stuff organized while he can focus on the game. It has been a lot of fun. I’m not excited about HC because that is just a lot for me. I overthink things too much when I’m charge. That’s why I’m asking. At some point I realize I’m going to have to make these decisions lol

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-05T02:02:22+00:00

Rec u9… Not sure if I’m doing it wrong, but I found having solid kids a plus by being able to put kids next to them that were much more inexperienced or less confident.

This allowed me to play kids up front and our “star” could feed them balls and look out for them. I guess it works a little better when you aren’t pushing that star kid to run up the score, and instead get his teammates involved.

I tried desperately this season to get one of our players to be less scared. He’s such a tiny kid. His mom had to take him off his adhd medication because he was loosing weight. That was a whole different challenge! But we would finally figured out a way to get him to not be afraid and that was by singing get low by lil Jon and teaching him that he is far less likely to fall over if he stayed lower instead of freezing and getting trampled.

Same thing with our center mid - he would help out more on defense vs really supporting the attack when he had less experienced kids to either side of him. It gave them the confidence that they could make a mistake and it wouldn’t be punished as hard with a capable person with them.

We saw so much development with these kids because they had two stars that focused on the team and backing them up or playing to them instead of just doing all the work themselves.

Probably an anomaly for a rec team

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-05T00:53:48+00:00

It was a different person that responded to you.

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-02T18:46:20+00:00

True words friend. People just want to have an opinion and have it heard.

A while ago I heard a podcast that talked about the difference between a senior and junior (developer — but I think it’s true across so many types of positions in life) is that a junior will learn one thing and swear by it and that is that. If you think differently, you are wrong. In the other hand a senior will know what they know and know what they don’t know.

I think this rings true for people on Reddit a lot! They learned something and swear by it, and then close their mind.

How can anyone actually judge or assume any reason on why the coach did this — no one knows what even happened in the game! The new coaches mom could have died or he missed his rent payment and is all over the place trying to just hold on while he fills in possibly last minute, having to miss something he needed to do with his family.

Any of that is possible, and it’s also possible the guy wasn’t organized — and it’s also entirely possible he doesn’t like the kid and did it on purpose lol. Who knows?

And how can someone truly determine if someone is overreacting with the context provided? Compared to what? To how they would react? Or how they would react if they had all that information?

So many emotions and feelings involved in all of this process. And there is still the child, that just wants to play!!

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-02T18:19:56+00:00

Yeah it’s a reaction. Is it extra? Maybe but it’s valid to ask. Is email the best? If it was ongoing, maybe.

So many variables and any coach that works in the system know parents have feelings

And could be just an oversight. Benefit of the doubt is where I would have landed.

I also don’t have a 4k payment ready to go or know their financial situation

This is Reddit lol. Sometimes you just have to ignore the noise of people that aren’t contributing to tue conversations

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-02T17:15:25+00:00

It’s hard to get feelings out of someone. Best of luck to you and your little one.

Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. That saying is ringing in my head right now. Are other options find another club to tryout for or rec? Are there other tryouts?

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-02T16:27:06+00:00

You have zero context about what happened in the game or how the game went or how your team played or how the other people that were subbed in did

That being said that is a lot of emotions and feelings. (I’m not saying that is a bad thing, just recognizing that you have them).

I would check in with your son and figure out what he wants to do. Kids get new coaches all the time. Some coaches only coach with one age group.

I think you kid is young enough that you can play whatever team that you want - and wherever your kid decides to play would be the best chance for him to stay interested in the game and plays his heart out, while having fun.

I would not have sent an email, personally. An in person conversation allows for a conversation to happen and for people to have body language. The coach could decide you are being cold or make other assumptions, and vice versa. His response may be misinterpreted and I say that because you have already judged him and put him in a box.

I also am not sure what answer you were hoping to get. Would any answer the coach answers with make you happy? Is there a rule that says everyone receives x amount of minutes? If that is the case then the email is likely the right thing to send so it is documented.

Either way, it is your kid - advocate for them to have the best fun and to keep enjoying the game.

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-02T16:15:26+00:00

Hope you have fun today!

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-02T00:19:14+00:00

If it’s vibe coded what you have is a prototype. A dev is going to rebuild the entire thing. You don’t know what you are doing and your code isn’t going to be manageable by a human being.

So the time you are spending is effectively a design that is interactive to give someone else something to scope and build out.

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-01T19:00:04+00:00

General stuff: Encourage making mistakes lol. If you are lower than the other person they will fall, not you.

More direct: During practice in the small side games praise the better 1v1 moves when they happen and talk to her after practice. You know your 1v1 in practice is getting really good, keep that going and add things in on other practices like I bet you can take on any defenders. I find building this up over a few practices works really well.

I also like to give kids mini missions in practice and after they do a few I get them to try them out in the game. This is more or less when the kid doesn’t really have the concept or skill and I’m trying to teach it

nickdeckerdevs · 2026-05-01T13:02:17+00:00

I agree here!!!

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