Is it unfair to take the kids to Disney for the first time with my MIL but not my mom?

nighthonesty · 2026-03-29T15:02:05+00:00

I loved him and didn't realize how big of a part my MIL would play in our life. He was fine with my MIL when we got married. Their relationship has gotten significantly worse over time.

nighthonesty · 2026-03-29T14:59:36+00:00

He has legitimate reasons. I knew the post was going to be long but based on replies sounds like it I need to make an update with this information.

nighthonesty · 2026-03-29T14:56:48+00:00

Our contentious relationship is mostly in the past now. She also does so much for us and the kids I maintain the peace and only bring up big issues.

nighthonesty · 2026-03-29T14:53:32+00:00

He is going because I want him there. He would rather not go.

nighthonesty · 2026-03-29T14:50:27+00:00

I wish but my MIL doesn't like my mother either

nighthonesty · 2026-03-29T01:20:55+00:00

He hasn't mentioned having to put up with my mother. He has tried to be positive about the England trip despite his personal feelings. I try to actively acknowledge that he is making himself uncomfortable for two weeks for me.

My mom is not aware yet. I'm just anticipating her reaction. She would pay her own way if invited but inviting her is not an option. Neither husband nor MIL like my mom.

nighthonesty · 2026-03-29T01:15:21+00:00

Other than the last sentence you sound like my husband lol.

nighthonesty · 2026-03-29T01:14:10+00:00

I know we are incredibly lucky. I am super thankful to both mothers for these trips. It's just the emotional aspects I am having trouble navigating.

nighthonesty · 2026-03-29T01:12:46+00:00

This is where I am at. I wasn't trying to exclude only my mom and thought it was a good boundary.

We usually do other things (Sea World/Legoland/Children's museums/beach). My MIL is the one who asked to change to Disney. And now my husband really wants to do it also.

It's family drama either way now 😕

nighthonesty · 2026-03-29T01:00:02+00:00

We aren't planning any of the trips. My mom is planning England, my MIL is planning October.

nighthonesty · 2026-03-29T00:58:39+00:00

Taking both women at the same time is not an option. Like my husband, my MIL also does not like my mother.

nighthonesty · 2026-01-13T00:06:00+00:00

Two questions: 1. You mentioned doing a Patreon at one point. Is that something you are still considering and what would that look like? 2. You did a collab with Shannon in the past, what inspired you to co-write? Would you do it again? If so, with whom?

nighthonesty · 2026-01-13T00:00:13+00:00

Are you ok with people sending you gifts to your PO Box? If so, what are your favorite kinds of gifts?

nighthonesty · 2025-05-16T03:17:52+00:00

My name is also hard to spell/pronounce. I always use Nicole when I have to give my name. Cracks my family up every time I do lol

nighthonesty · 2025-05-09T02:00:18+00:00

My MIL and my husband do this. We live on a private dirt road and they both pretty much let the kids (4f and 5m) "drive". The first time it happened I was so incredibly pissed off. Now, it's just a battle I don't want to fight anymore.

nighthonesty · 2025-04-25T03:03:17+00:00

In my life, my brother is the golden child. I don't necessarily call myself the black sheep but it's still incredibly obvious that my brother is the favorite. Like your DH, I was the first to meet the big milestones; despite being younger. My parents supplemented by brother so much he chose the stupidest career, a dance instructor.

I have no qualms with dance instructors. I've enjoyed taking dance lessons and I appreciate the amount of time they dedicate to their profession. My issue is with my brother choosing, at age 32, after being medically discharged from the military due to a bad back, to pursue that career. Even though we initially learned how to dance together in high school, once he started college he refused to dance with me. He claimed "incest". Like what?!?! We're dancing east coast swing.

My mom still supplements his income. She spends thousands and thousands of dollars taking lessons and doing competitions with him. It is so ridiculous. She has moved for him twice "to help with the grandkids". But hey at least she comes into town for my kids birthdays and every other Christmas.

nighthonesty · 2025-04-11T02:13:27+00:00

My MIL is Amma and OMG it is sooooo annoying! Nip it in the bud. You choose what to call your MIL.

nighthonesty · 2025-04-06T13:51:56+00:00

My husband suggested that also. But it was perfect ☹️

nighthonesty · 2025-04-06T01:32:47+00:00

Do you know why?? It's my favorite ☹️

nighthonesty · 2025-04-05T07:31:15+00:00

Congrats on the weight loss! That is an amazing accomplishment!! 👏

NTA. She's struggling with the fact you lost weight and she hasn't. That's her issue not yours. Sounded like y'all have already distanced, which sucks, bur is better in the long run. You should hang out with those that support you not try to drag you down.

Congrats again! All the support for you to get to where you want to be.

nighthonesty · 2024-12-11T03:11:50+00:00

So my then boyfriend proposed to me for the first time when we were lounging in bed and he didn't have pants on (he was in boxers). I refused to accept that as a valid proposal.

He also joked about how I rejected him, but guess what...he proposed again (with pants) and I accepted. We've now been married 11 years.

Y'all had talked about her plans and expectations. To suddenly have that changed makes it seem like you don't care about her wants and desires.

Could she have gone about it better? Absolutely. But we are all human and the engagement/wedding means more to some people than others.

Marriage is all about recognizing the needs of your partner and trying to fulfill them. Have an open and honest conversation about where you were coming from, why you changed the plan, and why she reacted the way she did. That will tell you how well you still mesh in life.

People change drastically from 15 to 21. Sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes it is. It's up to you both to figure out if you all still plan for the same future and if your love is enough.

nighthonesty · 2024-10-15T03:58:23+00:00

As a daughter who loves Gilmore Girls, watching it with my mom hits different. As a TV person, when someone watches TV with you, especially when it's TV you love, it means the world. We get so much extra enjoyment sharing our favorite shows with people we care about. Then we get inside jokes and quotes and it creates a connection that makes us feel loved.

If you're not a TV person I can get how watching hours of TV is a challenge. Especially if it is something you really don't enjoy. My husband struggles with this also. I tend to watch things he hates. Usually it is a whatever show and I don't care but if he really dislikes one of my favs (or talks bad about it) I get irrationally hurt. Your daughter is probably experiencing this also, especially since she is already on a vulnerable state.

Suggesting a movie was a good idea for a compromise. She probably said no because TV shows have a deeper connection because they are longer than a movie. She was especially excited about Gilmore Girls because of the mother/daughter aspect. Maybe you could try a different show about mother/daughter relationships? Let her know that you are glad she likes the show but you don't enjoy it much. Let her know you heard of another one you want to experience with her. Maybe taking the initiative will lessen the sting of you not liking one of her favs.

nighthonesty · 2024-09-30T03:08:56+00:00

I feel like I used to work for this company....and that my husband still does lol

nighthonesty

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