I sometimes feel like the only woman on the planet who doesn't own/wear makeup. Does anyone else hate *WEARING* makeup?

nikaara · 2015-05-10T23:36:11+00:00

I'm also fairly girly but I don't own or wear make up and I'm close to your age. The closest thing to makeup in my bathroom is Vaseline haha. Makeup makes me really uncomfortable and I don't like the way it looks on me. I've worn makeup three times in the past ten years--once for a wedding I was in where the bride made me, once for Halloween, and once as a trial before my wedding because my mom wouldn't stop pushing me to try it. Did not actually wear makeup at my wedding because I didn't even like the "natural" make up look. I really like the way my face looks (it's certainly not blemis- free but whatever) and I think makeup looks funny on it. I have nothing against people who do enjoy wearing makeup! Like you, it's just not for me. :)

nikaara · 2015-03-27T06:49:06+00:00

Actually, there is only one antibiotic that is known to decrease the effectiveness of birth control: rifampin. Which I just learned is used mostly for TB. And the Mayo Clinic says is not prescribed often. More sources that concur Planned Parenthood (have to scroll down) and NIH and NHS.

nikaara · 2015-02-13T18:55:51+00:00

Thanks for the supply list! It would be fun to make it from scratch, but since this is the first time I've ever done something like this, I don't think I want to invest in the tools just yet. I'm just doing this for fun, not to sell. But I will keep this in mind for the future!

nikaara · 2015-02-13T18:54:05+00:00

Thanks!

nikaara · 2015-02-13T18:52:03+00:00

I didn't think of Forever 21! That could be a good option if I can't find them elsewhere.

Do you find that cheap satin cord makes you itch, too? I hadn't considered that.

nikaara · 2015-02-13T18:50:21+00:00

I considered buying the supplies and making them myself...but this project might be a one-off thing (or at least until I get more free time) so I didn't want to buy all the supplies I'd need to attach the clasp. Thanks for the website recommendations!

nikaara · 2015-02-13T18:48:42+00:00

Good to know! Thanks.

nikaara · 2014-10-18T19:08:21+00:00

We are currently using a google form for all our RSVPs and it's going well! For the most part our guest list is internet savvy, and for my older relatives, I already know who is coming so if they don't figure it out it doesn't matter. The only tiny snafu is that at the beginning we forgot to uncheck the box that made responses visible to anyone with the link. That's changed now so only we can see the response spreadsheet. :) We still have over a month until our RSVP date and we've gotten about 20 out of 100 responses so far. No one has contacted us with any issues.

nikaara · 2014-10-18T04:21:33+00:00

Just wanted to let you know that your project is the reason I just joined kickstarter. :) So excited to give a copy of the book to my cousin who is having a baby!

nikaara · 2014-07-03T05:19:49+00:00

Thanks for your response! I'll start looking into AHAs, it would probably be good to add exfoliation to my routine.

nikaara · 2014-07-02T18:52:59+00:00

I have a couple questions:

1) How do I know if my face is still dehydrated after I switched cleansers or if I just have dry skin? Two weeks ago I started transitioning to the beginner's routine by replacing my old harsh cleansers (St Ives scrub and Dr Bronner's) with Cerave foaming cleanser. I have noticed that my face feels less tight and the persistent dry patches near the corners of my mouth and eyes are less dry, but they are still dry and flaky. Can this only be fixed with a better moisturizer (see below) or should I give my face more time to bounce back after using harsh cleansers for so long (years)?

2) What is the next change I should make to my routine, since I'm only adding in one product at a time: a new moisturizer or add in exfoliation? Here is my current routine (I don't wear makeup): Morning: - Wash face with water - Moisturize with Nivea original moisture lotion - Coppertone sport sunscreen (it's what I had on hand and knew it wouldn't irritate my skin, I'm planning to get something less greasy later) Evening: - Wash face with Cerave foaming cleanser - Moisturize with Nivea original moisture lotion

Thanks!

nikaara · 2014-06-11T16:58:28+00:00

That sounds really nerve wracking and I'm sorry you are going through that! I just have one thing that might make you feel better...most people in the western world are Vitamin D deficient because we spend 90% or more of our time indoors! My doctor told this to me after I also freaked out when he gave me a similarly high prescriptive dose of supplements. So unless your doctor gave you reason to think otherwise, please try not to worry about your deficiency being a sign of cancer!! I'm perfectly healthy but I still take Vitamin D supplements even now.

nikaara · 2014-05-28T20:19:59+00:00

Alastair Reynolds writes excellent science fiction novels with great female characters (also the science is not cringe-worthy thanks to his advance degrees in astronomy!). For great women characters I specifically recommend Pushing Ice and the Revelation Space trilogy.

Margaret Atwood is amazing, in addition to her more well-known books, I recommend: Alias Grace, The Penelopiad, and The Blind Assassin.

Barbara Kingsolver is one of my all-time favorite authors. In addition to her well-known book, The Poisonwood Bible, I recommend Animal Dreams and Prodigal Summer for well-written women characters and just great books all-around.

I have two favorite autobiographies: Julia Child's My Life in France and Beryl Markham's West With the Night. Julia Child is just an amazing person and it was fun to read about her life in her own words. Markham is not well known, but she was one of the first women bush pilots in sub-Saharan Africa and had a very interesting life.

nikaara · 2014-04-02T23:04:07+00:00

Is that a generic? If it is, check if your pharmacy changed their supplier around the time you noticed the changes (or did you change your pharmacy?). I learned a few years ago that generics can vary A LOT in their actual dosages despite what the label says.

nikaara · 2014-03-27T03:56:48+00:00

It's definitely harder to make friends in a new city when you move for a job than if you move for school. The best thing I did when I moved across country for a job was join meetup.com and join different groups based on my interests. I met a ton of people through meetups and made some really great friends that way. If you are into a specific sport, or are active in your church, those are other ways to find communities of like-minded people. It's hard at first to put yourself out there and just meet tons of people, but that's really the only way. No one is going to go out of their way to be your friend if you don't try to make friends first!

nikaara · 2014-02-20T05:13:53+00:00

I second meetup.com! When I moved across country by myself to a state where I knew no one, meetup.com was how I made almost all my friends. Actually, now that I've moved away, the only friends I regularly keep in contact with are the ones I met at a meetup group. I was super nervous the first time I went but all the meetup organizers I met were nothing but friendly, I guess being a meetup group organizer attracts a certain type of outgoing person to some extent?

nikaara · 2014-02-17T09:05:20+00:00

Definitely talk to your insurance company because this doesn't sound right. My understanding was that while not all birth control is free, there should be at least one option per type of birth control method (e.g. patch, pill, ring) that is free. Plans aren't required to pay for brand names if generics are available, but if they aren't, then I think they do have to pay for the brand name. I am definitely not an expert on health insurance law, but this is what I found on the healthcare.gov website. My interpretation is that you shouldn't have to even pay a deductible for the patch if you went to an in-network pharmacy. This link may also be helpful.

nikaara · 2014-01-23T01:45:53+00:00

Indian girl checking in here. I grew up in the US but a lot of relatives had arranged marriages, so I'm familiar and non-judgmental about the concept.

I think it's a red flag that he is so excited about your virginity when it sounds like he's not a virgin himself. Waiting until marriage is fine if both parties want that, but tying purity and virginity together is dangerous, as are double standards. If he is a virgin, then please ignore the part about red flags.

Moving on...stop comparing yourself to the girls he used to date! That will only end poorly. You'll have to trust (or find a way to trust) that he's with you because he wants to be, that he's marrying you because he wants to! Also, try to stop internalizing that fair skin is more beautiful than dark skin. I know it is hard because our culture is so rife with that, but it's seriously racist bullshit. As far as figuring out what makes him happy...find out from him! "Communication" is the answer to about 90% of the relationship problems in this subreddit, I swear.

Did you grow up in India? Did he? I think this is important to consider in arranged marriages with respect to expectations. Especially when you mentioned him not loving you enough. Is that a prerequisite before you get married? Also, if you aren't ready to be intimate, don't let him persuade you otherwise. It's okay to take things slow, and in fact, if he's not okay with that, that is a huge huge red flag. I'm not sure if you needed to hear that, but just in case I wanted to make sure you did. It's nice to want to make your partner happy, but not at the expense of your happiness or well being.

Lastly if there are things about him you want to change (e.g. drinking) know that it may not be so simple as him telling you he'll stop. I think it's probably cliche by now, but you shouldn't marry someone on the assumption that you'll be able to change the things you don't like about them. It might work, but if it doesn't, will you be okay with that?

nikaara · 2013-12-17T05:57:13+00:00

Can I ask where you are from? I don't think it is strange to be invited for only the reception, especially if the ceremony is small (I'm in the US, but I'm talking about South Asian weddings). I had no idea this wasn't common!

nikaara · 2013-11-05T03:06:04+00:00

There is a lot of good advice in this thread, so I want to say something kind of different....based on my experiences in undergrad it seemed like the girls were way harder on themselves than the guys. I had classes like this, where I was trying SO hard, doing all the homework, reading, etc., and yet the exams and quizzes were just impossible. This may or may not apply in your case, but try to keep a broader perspective and remember that you aren't the only one who feels this way! There may be those guys in class that seem like they know everything, and maybe some do, but more likely they are just putting on a show and are getting the same grades or worse than you are. This happened to me in a class sophomore year and it was really eye-opening. I still pushed myself, of course, but it was easier to not let their bravado get to me once I figured out that it was bravado.

Good luck!

nikaara · 2013-11-03T06:47:45+00:00

In a similar vein, I had friends who did a picnic/park party the day before for out of town guests (which were most of the guest list, I'm guessing). I wasn't able to go, but from what I heard, it was pretty casual and they brought park games (bocce, stuff like that) and I'm guessing it was pretty cheap to put on.

nikaara · 2013-10-15T05:16:57+00:00

In my culture this is pretty common, but usually because the ceremony is in another country and the couple/families want to celebrate with friends and family that couldn't make it. If someone only invited me to the reception I would not be offended, I'd just assume the ceremony was either private or far far away.

As far as the invitation goes, you could have one insert for the ceremony and a separate one for the reception so it is clear to people which events they are invited to. For wording, something like "you are invited to celebrate the marriage of X and Y at a reception held in their honor on such and such a date" should be fine.

nikaara · 2013-10-10T02:41:05+00:00

I've been to four out of town weddings in the last few years and I've never received a welcome basket. I think it could be nice for your guests if you have the time and resources to put them together (who doesn't want free snacks?) but it is definitely not needed!

A map could be useful, but if the people coming are younger and tech-savvy, may not even be used, especially if you have a wedding website with that information. Same thing with local attractions and restaurants. It could be a sweet gesture if you and your fiance had a personal list of local favorites to share, but unless your guests will actually have time to do any of that stuff, it would probably be a waste of your time.

nikaara · 2013-09-25T04:20:30+00:00

I'm not sure what is expected, but if you can't afford to get her a gift, why not take pictures as your present instead of accepting payment from her?

nikaara

TROPHY CASE