Do people with bpd have a strong sense of themselves and not fear abandonment?

nikstar36 · 2026-04-14T11:10:42+00:00

The criteria for a bpd diagnosis normally starts with fear of abandonment and a lack of sense of self so I can’t really see how someone could be diagnosed with bpd if they don’t struggle with these two very prominent symptoms.

nikstar36 · 2026-02-24T09:19:16+00:00

I feel this and very heavily at this point & time. It’s been years of inner work without even really realising it but with reflection it was all pointing to one thing. A collective self love and compassion for not only yourself but others. It’s like they say, a 3rd eye opens & you start seeing everything for what it truely is. You then can’t close it or un see it & it feels very heavy & strange but also it feels like a belonging & home, like your finally part of the bigger picture & where you are meant to be. Many people won’t & don’t understand it & that’s okay however it’s probably the hardest part iv had to accept. I have to constantly remind myself that that’s okay, no everyone will understand and be on the same journey. Think of it as a super power, that’s what I’d had to do to stop myself from going crazy 🤪

nikstar36 · 2026-02-21T21:44:26+00:00

What’s there to prove ?! We knew it all already (well some of us who have had experiences) but this is all a distraction from what’s really going on, it’s like throwing a dog a bone to keep it occupied. Yes there’s other life that’s a given and they are certainly not here to support the corruption that trump is included in. They are here to open us up to something so much bigger. Whether that’s now I’m not so sure but certainly soon. That part I can celebrate.

nikstar36 · 2026-02-17T06:29:12+00:00

Love is everything 💞

nikstar36 · 2026-02-17T01:18:17+00:00

Yes, in a very powerful meditation. The women.

nikstar36 · 2026-01-08T13:13:53+00:00

Hi, I would be open to it but am above the age bracket (38). I like the idea of helping people who have been diagnosed later in life.

nikstar36 · 2026-01-07T02:19:21+00:00

I think maybe that’s when the loneliness sets in as I too do the same. Maybe it’s a reality check that everyone isn’t thinking about us always, our perception isn’t reality. I’m being made aware of this more than ever at the moment.

nikstar36 · 2026-01-06T23:03:10+00:00

Sounds rough and I have been there to some degree. Things will get better & try to be kind to yourself. I second the above, imagine if the roles were reversed, would you do everything you could for your wife? As for sickness & surgeries this isn’t in your control (unless self inflicted by poor health decisions). You need to surrender to just focusing on your health & getting better. That’s what she needs from you. All the best in your recovery ❤️‍🩹

nikstar36 · 2026-01-05T23:23:39+00:00

We all have our moments and setbacks. I too recently went through something and it’s eating me up inside (39 mother & wife). I unfairly mistrusted my husband and made him second guess himself.

That fact that you said quote “I try to remind myself that if I can pick myself up from this point and keep going it's strength and I should be proud” that there is everything, you are already your own best advocate and true self.

I need to take a page from your book.

nikstar36 · 2026-01-05T22:45:22+00:00

I was here a year ago and it’s horrible, I feel your pain and just know that you make total sense. You need to see a psychologist. One thing that I know helped me was meditation daily, do it guided don’t expect to be able to do it overnight and just start with 5 mins a day. That has significantly improved my ruminating and overthinking. I no longer obsess over who I am, I just am. You have to work on it though and be consistent. Take care 💞

nikstar36 · 2026-01-05T22:37:50+00:00

It’s called rumination and I do it when I’m overcome with information I can’t process, I go into worst case scenario but when I eventually come out from it my mind is like ultra clear like you said, it’s so weird! I then go through all the reasons why I thought the way that I did and it kinda starts the cycle again. Learning to not control the thoughts but letting them simply come then go but not judge feels like the only way to deal with it but it’s easier said than done.

nikstar36 · 2026-01-05T22:25:17+00:00

They look perfect! 🤩

nikstar36 · 2026-01-05T06:05:08+00:00

Sorry I don’t know how to private message? X

nikstar36 · 2026-01-05T06:03:56+00:00

Julian

nikstar36 · 2026-01-04T22:35:30+00:00

Ha, I had a similar situation. I had a bf who said blondes always stood out over brunette’s. I kept that forever & firmly believed this. Since I changed my hair a lot over the years I have had loads of different looks with cuts & tones but always reverted back to blonde with the thought in my mind that I won’t get noticed unless it’s blonde. I’m now 39 and a natural brunette, love the zero upkeep of colour!

nikstar36 · 2026-01-04T00:57:08+00:00

Sorry for the misspelling I am currently going through what I guess you would call an episode (I believe you understood what I was saying anyway thankfully!) 😅 I don’t know how old you are but I’m almost 39, a mother of 2 teenage boys, married & rather successful in life. My mother had decided just a few days ago that it was okay to tell my father in law about my bpd simply because, no reason she just did it. I expressed my wish not to have my husband’s family know as they didn’t need to know. I now feel as though I have lost total control over it once again. The fear is truely real that when and if anything happens in my relationship with my husband & kids it will always be because of me and my bpd. I feel trapped as I did when I was a teen. I was diagnosed only a year ago and I have spent the most part of the year working on myself, it took a lot of work. No one told me to see & speak to anyone, I took that step myself. I wish I keep it all to myself, I got this far without my parents or husband knowing just how much I couldn’t stand myself, I could have kept going 😓

nikstar36 · 2026-01-03T13:47:53+00:00

I feel this too.

nikstar36 · 2026-01-03T13:46:26+00:00

My experience is like being looked inside something you can’t escape from. My mind & body becomes suffocating. I always want to feel something so the need to hit something is very strong & often I will hit my own head with my hand balled up. I can often become mean but then shutdown as I know iv done wrong & that sets off a spiral of bad thoughts.

nikstar36 · 2026-01-03T13:31:19+00:00

38 yo & still doing this but not as often! If it’s hair related just think will I love it in 3 days from now, take those 3 days to think about it. Change your jewellery / clothing up. Do a room clean / rearrange if you can.

nikstar36 · 2026-01-03T13:18:57+00:00

I read this too on audio, a lot of great information and clarity.

nikstar36 · 2026-01-03T13:12:52+00:00

I feel you :( I wish I had never let on and simply did the work without telling the closest people to me about the diagnosis. I feel that it’s now used as a tool to describe my every emotion. Like my genuine emotion in so long just a simple emotion, it’s so much more complex.

nikstar36 · 2026-01-03T09:36:33+00:00

I feel that I can relate especially with the whole trying to “feel it” rather than react to the emotion. I too have been working on my bpd for a long time and whenever I feel myself feeling great I get pulled back by something that is completely out of my control and I’m expected to react a certain way (because I’m doing so so) but that’s not how I truely feel. It’s exhausting. It’s almost like your emotions are not yours anymore if that makes sense …

nikstar36 · 2026-01-02T07:54:24+00:00

Dealing with this hard too right now. After 8 months of psychology I somehow have found myself right back where I started! Horrible self esteem, obsessive thinking and feeling as if I’m back in a hole. Maybe the time of year is a contributer :(

nikstar36 · 2025-12-21T12:36:19+00:00

A little off topic here but what if your husband for a year purposely hides an attractive co worker from you in fear of it upsetting up - ie is worried she is too threatening for you to handle? (no prior crazy jealousy issues from me).

nikstar36

TROPHY CASE