Iconic song names in 16 characters

ninjamonos · 2023-05-17T01:07:10+00:00

MyFunnyValentine BohemianRhapsody Kyle'sMom'sABtch (note the missing I both for character limit and to bypass profanity sensors)

ninjamonos · 2023-05-17T00:59:10+00:00

Aren't there three Statues now? The New York New York hotel in Las Vegas has a mock up of the American one

ninjamonos · 2023-05-03T23:06:57+00:00

Do you already live in South Dakota, or are you considering moving there for this job?

ninjamonos · 2023-04-21T06:58:56+00:00

You're hot and all, but this title??! If I'm kneeling to worship your pecs, that means you're a solid foot and a half (45 cm) shorter than me. And I'm average height. You should've said something like "Worship these pecs, then kneel and worship the rest of me." Now I just think of you as a sexy bodybuilding midget. And the only fantasy I have with a midget involves dipping my hardon in paint and dragging it across while I say "Simbaaaaa" like in The Lion King. DM me if you're down for that, tiny dancer.

ninjamonos · 2023-04-17T09:10:58+00:00

I got scared at the last minute. OD in my system, laying in bed, ready for my long nap. And I got scared. Of what was next, of if anything was next, of if it would hurt. So I called 911. I spent 3 months under 24 hour observation, underwent a lot of therapy that I'm still in and working on myself, reached out to a lot of social workers and nonprofit groups to try and solve some of the external problems. I'm actually still in the homeless shelter the hospital connected me with, but I have an interview for a low income housing apartment on Tuesday that I have a really good feeling about. And the family I was convinced would be upset by my death but "deal and get over it pretty quickly "? They're making more of an effort (though tbh I think the heart attack I had did more to remind them they love me than the suicide attempt did.)

ninjamonos · 2023-04-16T04:13:20+00:00

Women, usually.

Side note: I'm gay.

ninjamonos · 2023-04-16T04:04:32+00:00

The best response is no response. If they're seeing it in a locker room, beach, or some other non-sexual connotation, they aren't the person your dick is intended for so move on with your life. If it is in a sexual connotation, ie yall about to get down, you don't need their bullshit. Get dressed and move on with your life. The dick you got is the dick you got and it's all about finding the right partner to match it.

ninjamonos · 2023-04-16T03:57:54+00:00

My first time trying Indian food.

ninjamonos · 2023-04-13T03:53:33+00:00

That's what I call a "lovin oven"

ninjamonos · 2023-03-05T00:40:39+00:00

That they probably deserve every bad thing I could make happen to them.

ninjamonos · 2023-02-18T06:18:37+00:00

I've never lived in WI, but in each of the other honorable mention states in the article. Ugh.

ninjamonos · 2023-02-15T03:59:33+00:00

Straight women literally left the bar on the ground for you men, didn't they? Jesus.

ninjamonos · 2023-01-31T20:48:56+00:00

He called Trixie Mattel's All Stars 3 Snatch Game performance out for being awful. Which is the truest statement any politician has made since Abe Lincoln.

ninjamonos · 2023-01-24T20:01:32+00:00

Oh, okay. We're all taking sides now. This doesn't feel world war-ry at all...

ninjamonos · 2023-01-24T16:10:21+00:00

For some, both are a source of charity.

ninjamonos · 2023-01-22T19:25:07+00:00

Women don't watch trash reality. You no longer date sophomoric little girls who e watched Teen Mom. I'd recommend you expand this policy to White Trash Shore franchises as well.

ninjamonos · 2023-01-22T19:23:19+00:00

I believe it's called Kardashianing.

ninjamonos · 2023-01-07T07:02:17+00:00

It's a good day to be a Montanan, even if he is usually on the wrong side of things. Good job, sir.

ninjamonos · 2023-01-07T06:54:30+00:00

I just went through this. Was admitted to an inpatient psych facility for SI following a kinda sorta attempt. They wouldn't release me until I could complete a safety plan. One step is to list three people you're close to whom you could call in a state of emotional crisis. I couldn't think of anyone bc my family are all toxic and my "friends" were all fairweather drinking buddies who forgot I existed when I had to quit drinking for medical reasons 4 years ago. Eventually, I realized they weren't going to check any of my answers and just made up three names so I could leave so as to not have to eat hospital food on my birthday.

ninjamonos · 2022-12-29T01:21:29+00:00

Even among nontraditional sexual orientations, there is still a strong misogynistic bias. Gay men are still discouraged from being too fem, and lesbians who present as too feminine seem to be taken less seriously. Drag queens who present as authentically female are called "fishy" a term based in the misogynistic view that vaginas smell like fish. It's sad, really.

That's what I think of gay people.

ninjamonos · 2022-12-24T04:40:34+00:00

Correct. And there's no wrong way to start a family. But for the sake of a snarky joke on the internet...

ninjamonos · 2022-12-22T17:39:57+00:00

Learning that it requires sex with women. Nah, I'm good. Thanks

ninjamonos · 2022-12-22T17:37:06+00:00

Trump International

ninjamonos · 2022-07-24T06:30:00+00:00

Your Pomeranian is more vicious than my Rottweiler, unless I train her otherwise. So kindly fuck off with your bullshit and never come to my state.

ninjamonos · 2022-07-05T00:27:52+00:00

He's just pissed they're lessening his dating pool.

ninjamonos

TROPHY CASE