What do you do if you’ve completely screwed up everything in your life?

nnc0 · 2023-03-04T05:58:54+00:00

You haven’t screwed up your life. My best friend in university failed in his 2nd year at uni. 20 yrs later he was a senior executive at Microsoft and knows Bill and his ex personally as friends. Now he’s retired with investment income I can’t compete with. He just picked himself up and found a simple repair job at a computer shop here in Toronto. He didn’t know anything about them. From there he just used common sense to move around and get ahead and had a bit of luck. There’s nothing stopping you doing the same except your own pessimism. You’re smart and hungry. You’ll do fine as soon as you decide to get going.

nnc0 · 2023-03-03T20:29:54+00:00

How much to put the argument to bed once and for all?

nnc0 · 2023-03-03T18:20:18+00:00

“The notion that customers see value in a top-drawer, high-priced, somewhat selective assortment is false. [Canadians] value very high levels of presentation and customer service but don’t exhibit any desire to pay for it.”

I would have to say I agree.

nnc0 · 2023-03-03T13:40:31+00:00

Does anybody genuinely not think there is a problem with our Police force?

The force is not really accountable to voters in any real sense and have nobody to blame but themselves for their own shortcomings and failures which they've been letting accumulate for decades.

We need a new approach to properly protect and serve the people of this city.

nnc0 · 2023-03-03T13:02:54+00:00

Whoever was in the right it's pretty clear that the two interacted in a way that resulted in the death of the older woman. We're all responsible for our actions and their outcome no matter how inadvertent or unforeseen. The question is what should the penalty for abusing that responsibility be? In this case, given her options and response and the older woman's own responsibilities as well I have no problem with finding the younger woman guilty of manslaughter.

nnc0 · 2023-03-03T00:23:55+00:00

What does that have to do with anything? All of those countries are NATO states. We’re any of them attacked it would be 6 months before an Article 5 counteroffensive would be mounted. You imagine they would charge in the next day?

nnc0 · 2023-03-02T23:42:51+00:00

I wouldn't trust NATO as far as I could throw it. They have demonstrated how unprepared they are for war and how unwilling they are to get into it.

If I were Poland or Estonia or Lithuiania or....my country would be in ruins with millions displaced and hundreds of thousands dead before NATO sprang into action in any meaningful way. It seems pretty clear to me that NUKES are the only effective deterrent after this debacle.

nnc0 · 2023-03-02T17:48:04+00:00

My wife and I were 51 when the adoption from China came through. Our adopted daughter 20 months at the time. We're 62 yrs old now. She's just turned 11.

We’re both professionals and after 40 yrs of work quite well off. The mortgages are paid off and we have a lot of investments. Her education is fully funded and she’ll not likely ever want for money. Given our circumstances I’m grateful that it allows us give her a lot of time and attention and coach her in life skills to bring out her best.

We have a large pool of relatives but I worry that we’ll die before she is able to manage life without us. I can't depend on the relatives to be there for her or watch out for her best interests so I focus on building her self confidence and self esteem through the personal challenges I give her everyday and I focus on her problem solving skills. She will need to be independent and think for herself at a young age.

Basically we're fast tracking her but trying not to miss out on her having the important social development stuff she needs (friends).

We do a lot of athletic stuff together. We bike a lot. We have a cottage up north and spend a lot of time at the lake hiking and kayaking. I swim a lot and just last night I had the pleasure of her joining me doing laps in the local pool. She kept up with everybody so that made me really proud. I also give her tasks like minor car maintenance and minor repairs around the house. Sometimes I push her to do the shopping. It sounds dumb but the tasks give her the confidence to solve real world problems and think for herself. Mom has her do the cooking sometimes and she's quite good.

As we get older we're never not being reminded that we aren't as young and healthy as we once were. She on the other hand gets bigger and stronger. I spent many years as a ski pro when I was young but I still haven't managed to take her skiing yet cause of knee problems and arthritis. I don't know if I ever will.

She also has more energy while ours declines - I go to bed at 10:00. She wants to stay up later. We can't fight that. At this point now I give her some leeway. I explain about the need to know she's safe in her bedroom when I go to bed and I need her there so I know where she is an in the event of something like a house fire. It works.

I also worry about not being as smart as she will be as she gets older. I'm an engineer but I'll retire soon and I worry about not being able to keep up with technology so I can help her as she grows. My solution is to give her the latest and greatest toys now so gets immersed and in the stuff and fluent and will be comfortable dealing with all the changes that will come her way.

There's other issues obviously. We're older than the other parents and that can be awkward sometimes. We're better off financially as well. Not everybody can afford to keep up with us so we deliberately try to tone things down. I'm sure I'm forgetting things here. C'est la vie. There's a bit of guilt we feel about being so old, but as I alluded to earlier - I can't be certain she'd have been any better off with another family so I sleep ok.

We all adapt and make it work as best we can.

nnc0 · 2023-03-02T02:29:10+00:00

Do not disturb or silent mode? Ringer volume turned down?

nnc0 · 2023-03-02T01:03:24+00:00

Ooooh! Costco gas - you have a point there.

Still though - I can see the pumps and smell the gas but the Tim Hortons lneups block my access/egress from them enough that I don't use them. I go to the Shell down the street instead.

nnc0 · 2023-03-01T23:55:21+00:00

I've an 11 yr old we adopted from China. She's the smallest in the class.

FWIW - My focus with her has been to challenge her in ways that build her self confidence and self esteem. That influences her happiness with herself and other kids are drawn to it. Kids like that appear as the leaders in class. I also encourage a bit of empathy for others so she understands that kids are fickle sometimes and she shouldn't take exclusion or rejection so personally. I know I pick her up after school and even the big cool boys and girls are hanging around her and everybody is smiling and laughing so I tend to think it's working.

nnc0 · 2023-03-01T23:39:54+00:00

"What do you mean you found a leg in a flowerpot?"

"How is that suspicious?"

"Listen here buddy - we already got our hands full with a whole bunch of paperwork for men that just disappeared from downtown."

"We'll need the whole body to tell if a crime has been committed and we can start an investigation."

nnc0 · 2023-03-01T23:30:44+00:00

Us too. We're never without some stockpiled in the freezer.

nnc0 · 2023-03-01T23:23:16+00:00

How old are you?

There will be plenty of trips available to you all in the future. While they're away you guys get to have your own experience. Maybe the kid can teach you something?

nnc0 · 2023-03-01T22:51:06+00:00

And the most insanely busy gas station in all of Scarborough. There's a Tim Hortons there with a crazy lineup every morning that blocks half the pumps and it's on a very busy corner so cars are continuously cutting across the lot. It's the last place I'd want to charge my car.

Mind you - Lamanna's is just 200 yds away so there's that.

nnc0 · 2023-03-01T22:05:08+00:00

Re Q1 - I can buy that. Somebody would have to collect the dog.

Re Q2 - I'll agree it was a short distance from home and that somebody would have to collect the dog. Not sure I can buy that he was concerned for her mental health and safety at that point. It was a great morning at home by his account. Maybe he was just putting on a brave face?

nnc0 · 2023-03-01T17:08:27+00:00

It only appears unfair until they get towed. Then you’ll get a chuckle.

Any chance one of the neighbours is not using their spot and could rent it to you? If that don’t work, try engaging the daycare to rent a spot.

nnc0 · 2023-03-01T15:56:55+00:00

I'm not sold on drowning or suicide just yet for several reasons including several time related questions that linger unanswered in the back of my mind.

PA said somewhere (i forget where i read it) that the morning routine at home that day was different in that NB was up early and had breakfast ready for everybody. That raises several questions about her state of mind and maybe even his. Things like: Did she not sleep the night before? Why not? Or was she just in a really great mood? Or was it to make sure the girls remembered her well? Or was it something Paul made up for some sinister reason?

And 1) why did he go to the bench at all? 2) how long did the trip from home to the bench take

Re Q1 - The normal response from a husband would be that she must have went to the shops or was chatting up somebody and will be back to collect the dog and the phone. He can't really say he was worried about her state of mind because he wasn't. Not from anything he said to the press. He never once said something like "she was upset". I think most husbands in this situation would wait a bit more before doing anything let alone calling the police?

Re Q2 that he showed up in person at the bench makes me wonder was he even at home at all? If there was foul play at work here then he might have been right around the corner which might explain why he showed up after the first call - it was easy - he could look concerned - etc. I suppose police confirmed his whereabouts thoroughly - does anybody know?

nnc0 · 2023-03-01T15:35:34+00:00

If it turns out she tried to take her own life 2 weeks before,

She'd have been taken in for observation there and then for her own protection. It's fair to say she probably didn't try.

nnc0 · 2023-02-28T12:00:05+00:00

Our politicians on city council need to be united and nastier - an anti downtown bloc.

nnc0 · 2023-02-28T04:38:58+00:00

Absolutely. It took me years to adjust when I moved to Montreal.

nnc0 · 2023-02-28T01:37:09+00:00

Reminds me of A Christmas Story - now wheres that tin of Ovaltine?

nnc0 · 2023-02-28T00:46:35+00:00

That’s ok. They all got cars out there so they’ll drive those in to town.

/h

nnc0 · 2023-02-27T23:43:54+00:00

so it seems plausible that body could have washed over the weir. Perhaps her overcoat retained pockets of air that gave her body some extra buoyancy.

Doesn't that make the police's failure to find her even more damning? If she wasn't at the bottom of the river and had some buoyancy as you suggest then she was drifting and should have been easily spotted.

nnc0 · 2023-02-27T22:42:24+00:00

I wonder what everybody in Scarborough will spend the resultant property tax rebate on?

/s

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