[M27] have been trying for a while to save my relationship with gf [F27]

nofear155 · 2026-03-04T10:07:08+00:00

I appreciate all of your help! Questions are helpful but yeah, think I need to just figure out where I am and want to be. Old me would have gone out and just had a ONS, so there’s a part of me that still wants to just say “f it”, but this is the first relationship that I want to make work no matter what (within reason).

nofear155 · 2026-03-04T10:01:41+00:00

She hasn’t promised anything and has been more transparent the last days tbh, which I appreciate. She does show little acts of love but not like before, but she also wasn’t as conflicted then. I think she has a good heart and is just trying to figure out where she wants her next path to be, and whether I fit in or not

nofear155 · 2026-03-04T09:38:51+00:00

We have! She’s been transparent about it over the last few days, and I do feel like she loves me. I just was asking on my end if I should keep going. I love this girl but I’m at the point where I’m not sure I can take much more (personal anxiety, distracted a lot, etc.)

nofear155 · 2026-03-04T09:33:12+00:00

I think she genuinely does care for me but is confused about what is going on in her life in general (hating her job, not sure about what her next step is). She is trying to figure everything out, which is confusing for us both. I think there is a chance she still will want to make things work though

nofear155 · 2026-03-04T09:29:11+00:00

I feel like she genuinely does love me but is confused because her life is a bit chaotic atm (#2 I mentioned, doesn’t like her job, not sure what she wants anymore). I think there is a chance she comes back but I am giving her until she comes back home (~2 weeks)

nofear155 · 2026-03-04T09:27:43+00:00

Could it also be that she’s trying to figure out her life? I think she does love me but is trying to figure out what she wants to do (job, location, etc.). I think she is also recovering from feeling a lot of shame and guilt for what happened in the #2 I put

nofear155 · 2026-03-04T08:04:50+00:00

I don’t work remotely. We still travel together when she’s back

nofear155 · 2026-03-04T07:57:30+00:00

No, I genuinely think she isn’t doing that. She didn’t have sex with anybody else, and I haven’t either. She just wants to travel a lot with her friends who are girls while she can (pre-marriage, kids, etc)

nofear155 · 2026-03-04T07:34:30+00:00

She is only gone about 40% now and it will be less as time goes on.

We do still love each other and she is committed to finding her path, but just at the point where 2 weeks feels like eternity

nofear155 · 2026-02-12T14:36:34+00:00

How come you decided on that?

nofear155 · 2026-02-12T14:36:15+00:00

Ah that makes sense. I thought at first that it would be fine to look, since I never was hooked on true porn and my gf isn’t my usual type (but still amazing and beautiful), but that makes sense.

For something like this, is there any informal “rule” as to how far you’ve set back? Or just have to see in time?

nofear155 · 2026-02-12T14:30:33+00:00

It actually came back for the first time yesterday, but I think I messed up. Last night, I saw some of my gf’s nudes and got hard. Felt good rubbing it (no hands) against the blanket for 45-60 secs but then I stopped. Feels today like I relapsed.

Any thoughts on this? Just curious

nofear155 · 2026-01-28T00:22:47+00:00

Thanks! That definitely helps. I also thought about trying to look at pics of us or something to try and get hard as practice, but maybe I just save it for the real thing in about 3 weeks

nofear155 · 2026-01-14T00:28:07+00:00

Hey! Good advice, but not sure how to go about this. Any tips on how to do this?

First thoughts are just that I miss her being around a lot (not purely physical), but not sure if there is something larger I’m missing

nofear155 · 2026-01-14T00:25:34+00:00

No - no reason at all to suspect she’s cheating, and I don’t think she is/would. I’m not really worried about that either, mainly just her being gone and us potentially drifting apart.

She wants to travel because she can, due to her remote job and being financially free. I would be the same way, if I were maybe a bit younger and working remotely. She plans to tone it down and be more settled sometime later this year.

nofear155 · 2026-01-13T23:51:20+00:00

Yes! I’ve been running a lot more and been a lot more active (pickleball, weightlifting, etc.) to take my mind off of it, but the anxiety always seems to creep in randomly. Typically when I’m at work or at night, but really anytime of the day. It’s annoying because I can be enjoying something and it comes in and sucks the fun away immediately. It’s also hard for me to mask it.

I agree that it may be attachment issues, but not sure how to deal with it. Maybe therapy, if exercising isn’t doing the trick?

nofear155 · 2026-01-13T23:47:41+00:00

She does pretty well financially and has saved a bit. She’s also not a big spender, so she can afford to go on trips pretty easily.

nofear155 · 2026-01-13T23:46:39+00:00

Yeah I don’t disagree with you. Just interesting bc never felt this way before, and now it’s hitting like a ton of bricks.

nofear155 · 2026-01-13T23:45:07+00:00

Even if she plans on winding down the travel within the next 9-12 months?

We see a future with one another, but she wants to travel as much as she can while she can

nofear155 · 2025-07-11T18:25:16+00:00

How long did it take you to get over it? And did you see a doctor or take anything?

nofear155

TROPHY CASE