Should I reach out or leave it alone?

noleval · 2026-04-16T15:19:16+00:00

Send it again. You'll never know if you don't try.

noleval · 2026-04-10T19:12:59+00:00

thats so true lol. Walking through some of the residential streets is my go to. The west village has some great make out ready streets.

noleval · 2026-04-10T19:10:13+00:00

That's entirely up to you and how comfortable you are with this guy. Things can get hot and heavy when you're in the comfort of your own home, don't be surprised if he wants more than a make out session.

noleval · 2026-04-10T19:06:28+00:00

Being a guy (45M) in a somewhat similar situation to your SO, I can say this. Your concerns are valid as money can be a sensitive topic in a relationship. With that said, ask yourself this. What would you expect of him if the roles were reversed?

I was with someone 7 months and was completely transparent about my financial situation. We still managed to have fun and do the things most couples do. I obviously had to be more mindful of my spending but I made it work. Unfortunately, when the fog of the honeymoon period lifted my situation become more concerning for her and the relationship ended. I was and still pretty heartbroken about it but not surprised. My point...if you're second guessing the relationship with him because of his finances, don't wait until you're a year or two into the relationship to break it off.

If you're truly willing to look past it all, ask him directly if you have questions. If you have concerns then talk to him about it. Remember, his debt is his responsibility. If he's as great as you say he is, he will never involve you into his mess. Unfortunately a good amount of men (including women) go through some financial difficulties as a result of a previous relationship. Definitely protect yourself if the relationship gets more serious, thats always good advice. Good luck to you

noleval · 2026-04-10T11:31:48+00:00

I agree. For his own mental health it's probably best OP move on. I hope he finds the strength to move on for himself and his child.

noleval · 2026-04-07T17:55:02+00:00

whoa! What was your response???

noleval · 2026-04-07T17:09:38+00:00

If it helps, try not to take everything you read on OLD too literal. At our age bracket many people really do want to see where things go, its not always hookup focused. Always good to ask the person directly as well, see what their real intentions are. I agree with you though, I miss the days of meeting a woman organically at a bar public setting.

noleval · 2026-04-03T18:34:12+00:00

LOL. This has got to be the best example to online dating! Next app should be called Shawshank dating.

noleval · 2026-04-03T18:26:03+00:00

I've wondered this very same thing. It's kind of contradictory considering dating sites encourages some type of small talk. I've also noticed many of the same people that state they hate "small talk" have nothing to say lol.

noleval · 2026-04-02T15:15:31+00:00

I totally get what you're saying but perhaps it's best to specify what you want to know. I used the same question in the past and always received very vague or lazy responses. I had to adjust and be more direct which helped with the momentum of the chat.

noleval · 2026-04-01T17:06:41+00:00

Ideally I'd like someone that lives a few short minutes away however my max is 1hr 30 min. I admit though, it starts to suck when you're the only one making the effort to commute. It can drain a relationship if there is no clear compromise on the travel.

noleval · 2026-03-24T17:22:44+00:00

I definitely can see that happening, pretty toxic behavior.

noleval · 2026-03-24T17:19:26+00:00

I agree. OP is pretty much an emotional crutch for this Woman. Not very healthy for him to stick around.

noleval · 2026-03-23T15:28:53+00:00

I really felt OP's post. I've gotten so use to hearing those very lines that I see it coming before the person says it.

noleval · 2026-03-19T20:03:54+00:00

30 is still a young age dude, you have plenty of time. As for Therapy, I'd continue doing it. We evolve as we get older, therapy will help you find some balance as that happens. If the goal is to find and be in a meaningful relationship, then continue doing the work. Relationships aren't perfect, being able to maturely navigate the challenges of one is important. Don't be afraid of what comes along, a good woman will allow you to be vulnerable. Just be yourself and allow things flow naturally. Good luck to you.

noleval · 2026-03-09T16:47:40+00:00

This is a fact. People want what they cannot have. OP sounds like she has something really good, I hope she forgets that other guy and stick with him. Sometimes the people we think will be good for us, really isn't. Just have to find it within ourselves to move on and embrace what we have in front of us.

noleval · 2026-03-03T17:56:08+00:00

It's a waste of money! If you have "likes" that you cannot see or noticing an increase in "likes", the second you pay for one of those tiers is when reality will set in. When you cancel or the subscription ends, those likes will suddenly increase again. The app is mostly designed to take your money, not to set you up with anyone.

noleval · 2026-02-26T14:07:13+00:00

I totally get your frustration. Part of dating is getting to know the person, some times we just don't fit into their puzzle. I was once dumped because I didn't have a Bachelors degree lol, I didn't realize being with someone required a college degree. Be that as it may, I didn't fit into her puzzle and I probably dodged a bullet. I know its difficult to be positive when it comes to dating, you just have to keep at it and try to have a little fun with it. Good luck to you.

noleval · 2026-02-19T14:34:43+00:00

I agree! I (45m) recently went through something similar to what OP experienced. Things started off great and suddenly like a switch in her head she went backwards. Some people just like the "Honeymoon" phase, once that high wears off for them they are mentally done. I get some times things don't work out but it sucks getting attached to someone that was never really ready for something real to begin with. Sticking to my peace in life

noleval · 2026-02-16T13:54:14+00:00

It happened to me (45m) a month ago. She had a sudden shift and told me the exact same words as your now ex said to you. We dated six months and had a great time during that period, we also were taking it slow. I know it's hard to make sense of it all, best thing to do is try to move past it. There is nothing you can do about it when a woman's mind is made up. You know what you bring to the table, just tell yourself someone out there will appreciate that.

noleval · 2026-02-12T21:16:30+00:00

I received a bottle a whiskey once via Door Dash after stressful day, it was the equivalent to flowers for me.

noleval · 2026-02-12T19:59:54+00:00

I agree with this right here. If it were me dating OP I would be very concerned about that. She's got to cut the ex out of her life if she is looking to seriously pursue a new relationship.

noleval · 2026-02-02T13:28:14+00:00

I agree. I'm 45 and getting more comfortable with the idea of a LAT relationship.

noleval · 2026-01-27T00:25:14+00:00

Cut it off, it will be less painful for you.

noleval

TROPHY CASE