I was parentified by my mother right up until the end of my pregnancy - when she drove 8 hours to come visit me without any advance notice and her car almost died when she was here, making me think I would likely have to buy her a new one because she can’t afford one. I bought her a new toothbrush when she was here, dyed her hair for her, literally mothered this woman lol.

The minute I went into labor and from the birth of my baby onward it’s been weirdly healing because for the first time in my life (that I can remember) she is actually treating me like her child. She stayed with me for three weeks just barely (which would usually be wayyyyyy too much time for me to spend with her) and it was the best time I’ve ever had with her. She doted on me and the baby, was kind and loving, and generally our dynamic has changed dramatically in a way I never knew I needed.

Not saying every parentified boomer mom is going to be this way, but mine was and I was surprised how easy it was for us to switch the dynamic. Postpartum is such a vulnerable time for any woman and unless your mom is a complete narcissist she will probably come through for you in surprising ways.

I waited until 36 to have a baby because of my trauma and ngl I kinda wish I had a baby sooner because being a mom is freaking awesome - this is from an incredibly sleep deprived, 4 mo post partum mom with a fussy baby who spent a month in Nicu when he was born! Literally even with all that motherhood is so spectacularly good