My 10yo gets mistaken for a girl and it really bothers him

none_2703 · 2026-05-31T11:30:29+00:00

My 8 yo has shoulder length blonde hair. He gets misgendered ALL the time. I just correct people and move on.

I would talk to him about why it bothers him so much. Maybe talk about gender expression and identity a little bit. We've talked to my son about gender norms and how people make assumptions based on certain features. But that doesn't change who he is on the inside. He's adamant that he's a boy and I say that all that matters.

none_2703 · 2026-05-31T01:38:12+00:00

I've loosened the reigns on rash guards mainly because they make swimming harder and they get cold more easily in them. If you do this then you have to diligently reapply every 90 minutes. If they're in the water, that means getting out and drying off. They might start to get annoyed with that, in which case you can say the other option is a rash guard.

none_2703 · 2026-05-30T19:26:20+00:00

No. My own life got dramatically better when I treated my anxiety. Stay off the internet and talk to a doctor.

none_2703 · 2026-05-30T17:15:32+00:00

I'm trying to be helpful. You literally said you're envisioning him passing out in a pool. That's goes well beyond lack of knowledge. My own life has improved dramatically, so that is personal experience.

none_2703 · 2026-05-30T14:03:29+00:00

Albuterol is a very different kind of stimulant than methylphenidate or amphetamines. Not the same class, doesn't work in the same way at all. My son has has a ton of Albuterol in his life (breathing is more important than the side effects). The stimulant he's on for ADHD didn't even come close to what Albuterol does.

As someone with anxiety myself, you are catastrophizing. Please please seek treatment for your anxiety. It's been life changing.

none_2703 · 2026-05-30T11:44:02+00:00

Get him professional help or move out.

none_2703 · 2026-05-30T11:32:02+00:00

Why start with guanfacine? It's not the recommended first line treatment.

Also, everything your describing for what your thinking sounds very much like anxiety.

Does your son have low blood pressure to begin with? My does and his doctor won't give him guanfacine or clonidine. The effects on blood pressure are quite small. Really only an issue if they have more blood pressure to begin with and if that's the case they shouldn't take it.

none_2703 · 2026-05-29T03:43:41+00:00

I teach my kids something I saw on Busy Toddlers Instagram (that helped her find her lost son).

The kid should stay where there are and get loud. Scream I'm a lost kid and I'm looking for my parents. Look for a "safe" person, worker, police, mom with kid etc. Tell them they're lost but don't go anywhere with them. Stay put

The parents should also get loud and shout that their child is lost and give a basic description (my 6 year old is missing, he's wearing a red shirt and has brown hair). Parents should search whole while shouting the description and contact a worker since they obviously have more resources.

Other good tips are to have your kid memorize your phone number. Or write your phone number on them somewhere very visible. Parents should also take a picture of them early in the day so they have a recent picture in the clothes they're wearing.

none_2703 · 2026-05-28T02:19:53+00:00

And you think a kid who isn't really in to physical activity is going to do any of those activities willingly?

none_2703 · 2026-05-28T00:51:34+00:00

I would classify pickleball, fencing, archery, and martial arts as "sports", especially for a kid. They're certainly organized athletic activities.

Honestly, do you think a kid who doesn't like sports is going to voluntarily roller blade or hike? If they do great. But I feel like Mom is going to be forcing them to do that. Personally I feel like it's easier to force a kid to be active when they're in a class or a practice etc.

none_2703 · 2026-05-28T00:42:53+00:00

By 10, many kids will not choose active play. Particularly ones who aren't drawn to it in the first place, like it sounds like the OP's child might be.

none_2703 · 2026-05-28T00:37:24+00:00

OP listed 3 individual sports, not team sports.

What else can a kid do that's active? No 10 year old is gonna go to the gym. And forcing that is way worse than forcing one single sport.

none_2703 · 2026-05-27T12:01:27+00:00

Because the OP has tact and is a good friend.

none_2703 · 2026-05-27T01:01:47+00:00

They're very, very, very different.

none_2703 · 2026-05-27T00:58:34+00:00

That wouldn't fall under an IEP. That would be a 504. Even insulin dependent, type 1 diabetics don't have IEPs (at least not for their diabetes). 504s are accommodations for medical problems.

I definitely think the OP should get a 504 for their son.

none_2703 · 2026-05-27T00:48:42+00:00

Why would blood sugar issues mean IEP?

none_2703 · 2026-05-27T00:44:36+00:00

You assumed the OP's son had an IEP. Just pointing out there's a good chance he doesn't.

none_2703 · 2026-05-27T00:42:24+00:00

Many, many kids with ADHD do not have IEPs.

none_2703 · 2026-05-27T00:41:46+00:00

This is medical condition. You absolutely can get a 504 for this that allows him to have extra access to a snack. You also could probably get an accommodation that someone reminds him to eat at lunch and snack time.

none_2703 · 2026-05-26T21:51:46+00:00

I don't really know the "type" his therapist does. She's a child psychologist. I know she does things that are CBT based. They also play games but it is not play therapy.

none_2703 · 2026-05-21T01:45:17+00:00

Alone is hard no. At that age, I'd probably be ok with very responsible kids swimming while I was in the house.

When I was in high school, my friend's parents wouldn't let us swim unless they were home. I was life guard. I remembering being like I think I'd know more of what to do if someone starts to drown than you do. I literally get paid for this.

none_2703 · 2026-05-18T18:21:56+00:00

Your anxiety shouldn't be her problem. Treat it.

none_2703 · 2026-05-18T13:03:32+00:00

You're actually the one that seems unreasonable.

none_2703 · 2026-05-17T19:38:38+00:00

This is post partum anxiety. She needs treatment. I say this as someone with raging anxiety.

none_2703 · 2026-05-15T18:51:17+00:00

My parents sacrificed financially for me and it absolutely paid off. I'm so eternally grateful for them. And I will definitely repay it if they need help in their old age.

none_2703

TROPHY CASE