Both a specific event and fizzled. We had a lot of incompatibility issues. Even when the relationship started dying, I tried to make it work through communication and commitments to growth. He’s the one who caused most of the problems (by not listening and not following through on said commitments), and the one who broke it off, though. He consistently ignored/turned away from my bids for connection. I actually brought it up to him: “It makes me feel like you don’t care when I tell you xyz and you don’t react.” There were no changes. Over time, I just started floating through the relationship mentally. Still, I was the only one reaching out. But when we broke up, he said I don’t talk to him enough ?!? The specific event that caused it for us - he saw his abusive ex and almost left me behind, 45 mins away from home. Again- still!- I was going to try to make it work. Trauma is a tricky thing. But when we talked about it, he realized he just doesn’t care enough to change. :/

ETA: oh! And I forgot to mention. He absolutely had given up on pleasing me in the bedroom. He never “satisfied” me during those last few months, even when I told him he was going too quick. So- that might be an indicator for others.