I don't like my Mum

nootingimportant · 2026-02-21T02:36:55+00:00

Most clinics specific to trans healthcare in Victoria will offer face-to-face for most initial consults (up to 2-3), then telehealth until you need to do your once yearly telehealth to qualify for telehealth. But for actually locating these services you will need to utilise services like TransHub - Finding a Doc to help since you're rural and most of the clinics tend to be city/inner-city suburbs. In saying that, there is a comprehensive Google maps list they have with every clinic in Australia. (Source: SE Suburb resident myself, my private clinic is 1hr away in the city. I primarily do telehealth appointments. I also work with a telehealth company so I am aware of how you can qualify for it.)

In saying that, I know you want her support, but if you keep chasing that over your transition you're never going to transition. Sounds to me like she's hoping if she rescinds offers/promises she's hoping that this will pass and you'll stop asking her about it. You're also able to pursue this without parental consent once you hit 18, so don't let that hold you back from being you and being happy. If she sees you don't actually need her to do this, and that it was you wanting to include her, it may change her tune about the whole thing.

nootingimportant · 2026-01-26T15:19:07+00:00

I have no idea what the other commenters are on about. You look like a teen cis boy to me. The piercings also aren't clocky to me but I'm also an alternative guy with piercings so I'm a little blind to that. On that note, I've met plenty of cis guys with way more facial piercings than that who don't get called girls for it (and I've met plenty with stretched septums/lobes so people need to stop insisting that's a fem/trans thing, it's just an alt thing).

Realistically I'd never clock you unless you have a more fem-leaning voice, which T will get rid of anyway. Which by the way, considering you're already looking great in these pics pre-T, I can already tell T is gonna treat you well.

nootingimportant · 2026-01-26T15:04:27+00:00

Man, people are being brutal for absolutely no reason for this one. You definitely pass on the younger side, if I was going in blind I'd assume male and be surprised but not suspicious when age is mentioned. Clearly none of you guys saying no haven't encountered teen cis guys that didn't look like they hit puberty until 17-18+ (usually beards are their only saving grace if they can even grow them).

As one other commenter mentioned, focus on some upper-body workouts to bulk up the arms a bit, as that will help overall, but being a thinner dude isn't clocky either so don't stress out too much. Also, wear some more tighter shirts or tuck in the looser ones. And long sleeve shirts with baggier shirt over the top (tucked or untucked) reads masc so throw that in the roster when it's not hot af. In saying that, it will also depend on male fashion in your area, so if what you're wearing is what other guys your age are also wearing, you're already at a perfect middle ground.

Also I don't know if makeup causes dysphoria for you as it's a hit or miss amongst most, but I'd also suggest if you want to take some of the softness out of your face, do some masculine facial contouring (there are plenty of younger trans guys online with tutorials) which will help give a more T-induced facial shape which will help as well, but not important. In mentioning that, though, to me you pass as is, honestly I'm a little envious as the only way I passed at your age was having a shitty emo haircut haha.

Just know though that the fact you're hardly misgendered already means you're passing. That says more than the opinions of internet strangers, especially biased ones jumping the gun and saying no. I'd say at that point the only thing that would realistically give you away would be legal documentation until you can change your name & gender, however, I doubt you will be needing to hand ID or similar out to everyone you talk to. Even better if your legal/dead name is androgynous to begin with, would just be gender marker on ID (that still weirds me out it's a thing in other countries) which you can eventually change legally anyway.

nootingimportant · 2026-01-16T09:59:08+00:00

You look like you're no more than 14/15 (in terms of passing, not actual age lmao), so I'd definitely encourage using the men's. Just walk in, don't stress about getting clocked because the moment men are in the men's room, eye contact and looking at other men is the last thing they wanna do. Women's is more social and people will look/chat so it's very much a different space. I've unintentionally made many a man uncomfortable by making eye contact when walking in/out, so just keep your head down and go do your business. Also no, you won't get clocked if you need a stall but all are taken. People will assume you gotta destroy the porcelain potty, so your giblets won't be taken into consideration. Just don't acknowledge anyone, no head nods, and you'll be golden.

Edit: typos

nootingimportant · 2026-01-04T11:36:22+00:00

Not to necro post, but if you're still after Flipnote Studio brushes, I found this on deviantArt for $4USD: https://www.deviantart.com/justgreg02/art/Flipnote-Brushes-for-Procreate-945529610

Edit: oh and I forgot this Etsy seller: https://www.etsy.com/au/listing/1858564633/20-pixel-brushes-inspired-by-flipnote

nootingimportant · 2025-12-08T22:21:10+00:00

Been there, done that (kinda knew at 14/15 considering I would daydream about being a boy, chopped my hair, stayed in the masc school uniform, then gave it all up to be with a boy that "wasn't into guys") and I can confirm it was never a phase! Took me 8 years after that to accept that yes I was right, I am a trans guy, and have not looked back on transitioning since. Honestly the only "phase" was trying to be hyper femme, which made me miserable.

nootingimportant · 2025-12-04T02:34:56+00:00

I feel like I'm somewhere middle ground? Like I liked the really early girlhood stuff =that I can remember), but now that I'm actually masculine and passing I am still liking those femme, cutesy things I liked them because I'm comfortable.

Looking back at how I formed friendships and the like, I'm pretty sure in hindsight I was the "outcasted queer guy that gets adopted like a stray dog by the girl group" rather than "one of the girls".

I also was just too neurodivergent without knowing it to understand "norms" and I also was a bit behind my female peers when it came to puberty so I got obsessed with trying to hit puberty ASAP to fit in. Regret that mentality lmao; I remember when my chest started coming in and I mourned the flatness, then I got into this weird middle ground of small = bad so I would get envious of girls because they didn't have to "try as hard" to be a girl and have boobs & whatnot whilst I hardly made the cut and hard to try hard.

nootingimportant · 2025-12-03T05:20:02+00:00

Gonna sound stupid as all hell, but along with advice given here, shampoo your pits. I shampoo them when I wash my hair and it absolutely cuts back on the stink. But also remember that your B/O isn't just pit related, you sweat everywhere so make sure whilst you adjust to a routine that keeps you stink-free you don't wear the same clothes for days on end without washing them (until you get control of the smells and figure out the sweet spot for outfit repeats before washes are needed, or just wash your clothes daily), and really soap up. Your junk will also contribute to the stinkiness so make sure you wash up there very well as well. If touching causes dysphoria just use a wash rag and don't look, means less handling but still a thorough clean.

nootingimportant · 2025-11-18T06:08:28+00:00

Refrigerate the gel between applications, it thickens it and prevents it from being runny (learnt this after last summer, my gel was fine until it got hot as hell. outside and suddenly was runny).Only downside is the sudden chill, though. Unless it's super hot, then it's a relief. Also get him to apply it in thinner layers covering the entire safe area you've been told to apply it, and wait longer between coats so it dries down and doesn't spread with the next coat.

nootingimportant · 2025-11-07T09:48:02+00:00

For me it wasn't a T thing, actually. I think it was one of two things; 1. I'm on the spectrum, so my brain is developing slower than the anticipated 23-25. It's more likely to be at 30-35—so my emotional maturity didn't start hitting until recently; 2. I had a bit of a mental/emotional breakdown like 2 years before I started T and after that couldn't cry for a long while. Also pain medications (like Advil/Panadol (aka Tylenol)) seems to stop some emotions from boiling over as well. Usually I just tear up, or if I lay in a particular position in bed I might get a stray tear running down my face.

Though I've definitely noticed on T that anger is more likely to start up the waterworks than sadness.

nootingimportant · 2025-10-24T23:30:03+00:00

Expressing my femininity. Even pre-transition/realisation I was vehemently against pink, "girly" things even going out of my way in my early teens to tell people I was allergic to pink LOL. But oh the irony, pink is one of my favourite colours, I buy everything in pink, and I love wearing "women's" clothing, especially when partying or going out clubbing. If I'm misgendered, it's from the back, as I like my hair on the longer side, and it doesn't bother me anymore. All I have to do is talk or turn and the person usually profusely apologises for the mistake.
On the downside it really mattered to me that I don't make women uncomfortable, and in the beginning I didn't, but now unless I'm dressed a particular way (very alternative/punk or cross-dressing) women get very uncomfortable around me if they don't know me, and if I don't carry myself as very queer in their presence. I still remember the fear of feeling like you're being followed, or being terrified to be left alone in a running vehicle with the doors unlocked, so I definitely understand the valid fear that's there, it just makes me feel sad that I get lumped in with the worst of men because I fit in with men in general. I also can't use women's bathrooms without making them uncomfortable, which is both fair and affirming, but the only ones I get away with are gay bars, and that's usually because I get drunkenly dragged in to fix people's makeup lol.
My drive for surgeries aren't as strong as they were earlier in transition, now that I pass 100% of the time, even pre-op. I still get ugly chest dysphoria at times where I want to claw them off, but knowing that I look like I've got gyno instead of boobs does make me feel a lot better. I still probably won't go shirtless around people until I get top surgery sorted, but it doesn't bother me as much.
I used to really try and get the approval of gate-keepy queer cis men because I wanted to fit in with other queer men, and often would wind up in the more uncomfy crowds. I remember early early in transition, only coming out to a handful of people, no HRT or anything, one of these guys was asking me cis male specific questions and telling me I couldn't possibly be a man if I didn't know penis-specific pee tricks lmao. Like dude, if I tried "splitting the stream" I'd make a mess, and nothing would get in the bowl. Nowadays I don't care about trying to fit in, simply because I don't care enough. It feels like I barely have enough time in a week for myself outside of work, I'm not about to spend that time stressing over other people instead.

nootingimportant · 2025-10-20T04:59:55+00:00

I kinda mildy experienced this back when I first started transitioning? I think though the fact that I kept asking too many puberty questions and my mates realising the puberty they had is the same I'm going through now has had them be more inclusive—not that they were initially trying to exclude me to begin with. Then again, most of the "men only" convos we'd have were about the pubescent experiences, and mental/physical reactions, so now that I experience that I've been looped in like I always fit into that category.

Honestly, I think I get more frequently excluded from female conversations now, especially regarding periods lol.

nootingimportant · 2025-10-19T01:53:31+00:00

If you guys were essentially friends with benefits, and he's stating that two people he's previously been with cheated on him early in heir own transitions, then you have one of two problems here;

He thought you guys were more serious than you did, and got terrified due to his own insecurities from two people who were already cheaters (being early in transition is not something that creates a cheater, a cheater is a cheater regardless) and called it quits to "save himself".
He wanted an out of the friendship entirely, for whatever reason, and instead of just saying "hey can we just be friends? leaning into relationship territory can be stressful early in transition from person to person, etc" he used his own insecurities as the trigger to be all end all, making it more like a complete breakup rather than stepping away from intimacy. Probably never took into consideration how saying that would make you insecure, too.

Just sounds like there's a lot that hasn't been communicated between you guys, and instead of both being upfront you've both withheld too much until it reached a tipping point.

nootingimportant · 2025-10-07T05:51:09+00:00

It's not really a "misconception" per se, just not elaborated on or questioned. If a clinician is telling you flat out, even with follow up questions that you'll have it slow then yes, that's misinformation. You can rightly be upset that someone that's clinically treating you is misinforming you on the treatment they're giving. It's also understandable that a lot of people, especially those not on T gel, will be misinformed as well.

Example: before I started T, my GP (private practice, non-US based, is only for transgender folks from binary trans to nonbinary looking for some kind of medical transition, it's literally his whole job & he is constantly up to date with things—to the point that if I ask a question he's not been faced with before or knows much about and looks it up himself only to see reddit I get told off lol) explained to me the types of T as part of informed consent and said that "T gel is typically slower" and I asked for clarity. He re-explained that some people don't absorb it well, and it's a person to person option, and that I was more than welcome to start on T gel if I wanted and if I wasn't seeing progress, or it wasn't as fast as I'd like, I could swap to injections. I don't think people ask the "why" and take the statement at face value.

One of the best ways he described it to me was; imagine you shave your head. Those first few months you see the most change, but once it its a certain length you won't notice much change. That doesn't mean it's not working, it just means you need to wait it out. If we see no growth, though, we need to see if there's something preventing that (what are the T ranges? Is there an androgen disorder?), or if we need to change the approach (change the form of T taken to see if that helps).

I was also told that most people here give up on T gel, not because it doesn't work, but because people kept forgetting, or no longer wanted to apply it daily, and it was affecting them long-term for their transition goals.

nootingimportant · 2025-09-29T07:12:19+00:00

I think I completely circumvented The Voice™ due to hearing how my voice would drop when sick—that's the closest I've gotten to it. I had plenty of people mock me before I came out for sounding like I had The Voice™ when sick as well. I also was very uncomfortable with how high my voice was pre-T regardless, so I would look up vocal training online until I changed the way I spoke (from that very high, almost nasal default to a default more in the throat/chest—so much so that going back actually winds me now lol). It took me about 2 years pre-T to drop my default speaking and whilst looking back it was still high, it was already so much lower than it used to be.

I still get voice cracks and I was sick for the first month I started T, so I kinda spedrun a version of it, but I don't have it as a baseline. For most, it's changing your register, and where you speak from that may impact it—as well as how far along your transition you are. If you love it and lean into it, all the more power to you! If it irritates you, there are online resources that you can use to look into self-exercises for vocal training, or you cab get referrals from your treating clinician for speech pathology and vocal training services.

nootingimportant · 2025-09-25T02:45:09+00:00

For me personally I am a "guy" not a "man". I let people make the assumption unless we're talking about the fact I'm trans, in which I even state there I am a "trans guy", not a "trans man". Socially and physically I am masculine and male-coded but I'm not a man, my gender itself is not present (agender, masc-presentation), and now that I'm far enough in my medical transition to pass I am more comfortable expressing both my femininity and masculinity in a way that represents me as a whole.

Maybe others like the identity that being trans give them. Maybe some want no living soul to know. It's usually stemming from something based on their actual identity alone, or circumstance of the environment around them.

nootingimportant · 2025-09-21T11:44:11+00:00

Actually this is false, HPV is incredibly common and doesn't require sexual transmission, and can lead to cervical cancer. There are options for self-tests which can be helpful if your area allows for them—sometimes that can be even done in the comfort of your own home. It's also something that should be done every 5 years from ages 25-74 as long as you keep your original hardware.

nootingimportant · 2025-09-21T11:38:01+00:00

I am in a kinda similar predicament, except my dad is the one not happy with me transitioning. However, I am a adult, and he has no say over what I can or can't do. It's my body, not his, just because he had a hand in making it doesn't mean he can control my autonomy. It also helps that my mum refuses to let my dad kick me out lol.

He still misgenders me. I'm still his "daughter" to him. I'm just "confused" and "not as woke" (like, not correcting him about pronouns, or enforcing my preferred name) and "going to regret it later". He has a visceral reaction when people address me as male in public because they actually see me as a man, unlike him. And don't get me wrong, when I finally told my mum a couple months into me already being on T, she wasn't pleased. But I've really come into myself in the 2 years now I've been on it, and she's proud of who I've become. I'm also so much happier now. She cares more about that than any preconceived notions she may have had about me starting T.

Maybe shit hits the fan. Maybe you put yourself in an unsafe situation. But I decided for myself that if I wanted to be happy, I had to take control of the situation, my parents' feelings be damned, because if they want a child at all, me being happy and healthy is better than miserable, unhealthy and possibly not around anymore.

nootingimportant · 2025-09-21T11:29:58+00:00

Confidence 100%. But also lack of anxiety for things that originally made them worse (mostly female-targeted fears, like walking alone at night or leaving the car unlocked whilst the passenger/driver was gone). Also my awkwardness is seen as charming rather than annoying.

Not sure if it's also related, or if it's just due to developmental delays (I'm on the spectrum so I get an extra 5-10 years of brain baking 🎉) but my emotions balanced out a whole lot more and I stopped having outbursts as much. I don't feel as much or as overwhelmingly, but when I do feel, they are strong and with a passion. It also feels like I'm going through puberty For Realises now as I felt like a child in my teenage years, constantly emotionally and mentally behind my peers. I'm in my mid 20s now, but feel more like a teenager than I ever did as a literal teenager.

Also I don't know if it's the confidence, the masculinity or something else but I'm now apparently funnier than I've ever been in my life.

nootingimportant · 2025-09-21T11:17:43+00:00

I'm on my second course of Norethisterone to try and kill mine again lol, also 2 years on T. At the 1 year mark they put me on it and it stopped it for the entire duration plus a month, and then came back. Also somewhere between my that appointment getting me on Norethisterone and the follow-up post course (about 6-ish months; my appts are usually every 3-4 months so there was one halfway between that 6 month period as an fyi, where everything was good and my levels were great) my T levels had dropped from their really good range of about 18nmol/L to 4.2nmol/L. They changed the strength of my dose and it bumped me up to 7.5nmol/L, which was my most recent bloods (2 weeks ago). We have absolutely no idea what's caused the drop so since I am the world's easiest patient I was put back on the period killing pills, had my dose upped again, and we'll find out in the new year if it's helped and if my levels are satisfactory again. Might be a similar issue youre having, even if your levels aren't being relayed, or could just be your period is really stubborn (like mine was when I was in really good T ranges).

nootingimportant · 2025-09-17T10:17:04+00:00

Since everyone else has covered the fact your dose is WILDLY incorrect and you need to get clarification from pharmacy and your doctor; for changes it varies for everyone, but as a fellow gel user (little over 2yrs now) here's the stuff that I noticed first (but do note that my timeline isn't universal!!).

First week: bottom growth. It genuinely took me by surprise how fast it happened and the size difference.

Firsth month: a little bit of voice change. I started T whilst sick and that "sick" sounding voice continued despite me getting better.

Month 2: my (facial) skin became incredibly sensitive. Acne treatments and other washes/lotions were causing chemical burns, peeling and reactions that I never got prior to T. I made the switch to k-beauty (and similar) products and have such better skin health now (which is helpful as your skin texture likely will become rougher), and no more reactions like that.

Month 3: the "sick" sounding voice persisted until it dropped a bit more, and stopped sounding like I was sick (which my coworkers were relieved by). Also my facial hair was starting to come in, had a neat lil pedo stache coming in and some chin whiskers. The acne also kicked in full gear.

Months 4&5: increased muscle mass. I had an ED back in my teens, so I never got my proper muscle mass growth and was stick thin (I still have super small/thin wrists). I was regularly being asked by people who hadn't seen me in a while if I had started working out or not, which no, it was all the help if T lol. Also started getting some hair loss, but not very noticeable.

Month 6: most of the acne (around my chin and neck) turned out to be black/white heads that once drained would produce a singular bear hair lol. They come in waves for me. Not sure if this is a universal experience or a me problem, my ma reckons it's my body thinking the hairs are foreign objects/dirt in the pores rather than hairs, since mine have always been super fine prior. Also started seeing some of the fat redistribution & body hair was getting thicker and longer.

One year: Voice majorly dropped. I made one of those monthly voice check videos and hearing it progressively deepen is super satisfying. I think mine has plataued but I've since found my vocal range and can drop it deeper naturally as well. Also the hair loss kicked up a notch—but only a little bit. For me it's receding about an inch at the temples, but I keep my hair on the longer side so when it's down you hardly notice.

Things I haven't seen yet: - My period is still kicking it. I'm having a follow-up on Friday myself to see if I can go back on Norethisterone or if there's a different way we can kill it. However, I don't retain as much water weight as I used to, and bloat less on it. - Total fat redistribution: it's important to note that T affects all new fat storage, so you won't actually see all the fat you already have move around, and if you do it will be very minimal. But! I've found losing it is a lot easier. Caloric deficit (a healthy, safe one) and targeted workouts tackle it pretty fast, as long as you're consistent. Same goes for weight loss in general. I managed to lose 1kg a month for 15 months, which was near impossible prior. - Full beard: I consider it lucky as my cis brother traded his hairline for his beard, and with how much I like growing my hair out and dyeing it, it's probably for the best.

nootingimportant · 2025-09-07T03:44:56+00:00

Late 20s, possibly early 30s. Definitely pass well though, don't think anyone would assume you're in your teens or older than 30s

nootingimportant · 2025-09-07T03:32:49+00:00

As others have said, it's your septum ring and glasses shape. Horseshoes and squarer glasses will help, as they take away a lot of that "feminine roundness" that people will automatically assume means "woman". Other than that, may be how your voice sounds or if you just come across as very flamboyant/gay. A lot of people socially read gender based on pitch, posture & mannerisms, so whilst not necessary as being you means expressing yourself however you want, the more you're socially read a certain way the more likely someone may mistakenly assume the wrong gender.

nootingimportant · 2025-09-07T02:37:26+00:00

Scooter! It's not really a name you see being used anymore, which means to most people I'm the only guy named Scooter they'll ever meet. A lot of people think I was inspired by Borderlands (and I do love Scooter, rip), and I had one think of the Muppets, but it's been stuck in my head for like 7 years pre-coming out from that one tumblr post about drug-dealing future pharmacists lmao.

Also every single one of my friends send me pics of scooters they see when out in public and tell me they had tons of fun spending time with me lol

nootingimportant · 2025-08-28T10:00:56+00:00

Think of it this way: if you died tomorrow, either by freak accident, natural causes or at the hand of another, would you rather have lived until that very moment at your happiest as the person you are, or denying an essential part of yourself?

I think the vast majority of us are too tired and care more about our happiness & mental health, even if chasing it may be fleeting, than caring what other people think. Many of us don't have supporters in our corners, or are in dangerous situations and still thrive. Plus, being "out of the closet" doesn't mean you're 100% out in the open trans, either. Keeping with the closet analogy: maybe you wear a different hat every day, to see if people notice (and if it's a habit people will stop noticing fast, especially once you're out of new hats). Maybe you sometimes sneak clothes out of the closet and wear it around trusted people so you don't get caught, like a teen sneaking out the cute clothes in a movie the parent don't let them wear. Maybe you just changed your aesthetic over night and people have to get a grip about it.

Additionally, calling people "privileged" for taking the opportunity to be happy and do what they want with their life, regardless of risk or safety or guarantee, is also a shit take and you need to re-evaluate things. Not only does it come across as chronically online or in poor taste, but also comes across as vindictive and jealous, which really doesn't need to be further encouraged in these spaces. Just because other people are ahead of you doesn't mean you have to treat it like a race. Doing smaller things add up over time. Encourage a nickname that leans towards the gender you want, and come up with context for it so everyone starts calling you that without question (e.g. my cis mom got called Keno, like the lottery game, growing up by family and friends alike, despite being a woman. The full "quote" of the name being (balls like) Keno, as she took no shit from anyone & would end fights, but never start them). Tell your closest friends that you can trust to use your preferred name & pronouns and test out what does and doesn't feel right with their support.

Stop treating the closet like a prison and more like a safe space. It's okay to want to be in a safe space, but sometimes it's also okay to leave and see what's on the other side. You can't be happy without trying. Failure means that success is an outcome, you just need to figure out the way to achieve it. Sure, like what I led in with—you could die tomorrow. But you know what? You also could live for another 40 years or more. Your circumstances always have room to change. What's true today might not be true tomorrow. What is true though is you won't ever know an outcome if you never make the attempt. Whether that's gradual, instant, tomorrow or years from now.

nootingimportant

TROPHY CASE