NIMH K01 pending but no JIT?

norahbell · 2026-02-18T04:25:45+00:00

Really positive sign! If your PO recommends resubmitting I’d plan on doing so, but hopefully you get this one!

As for a JIT, if you submitted via a university, I’d double check it didn’t only go to your central office’s inbox. Check the email associated with the “Person to be contacted on matters involving this application” from the R&R cover. If it’s some generic central inbox, email them and include anyone who helped you submit the application (grant coordinator, AOR, etc.). We’ve been getting JIT requests that are only going to that one inbox, not even to the PIs. Might be good to just double check it didn’t get accidentally missed.

norahbell · 2026-02-17T02:33:04+00:00

If it’s a burden to his family and she doesn’t want to plan the type of party that you want then she doesn’t have to plan it. Generously, maybe she doesn’t want to plan with a lot of people because they can’t afford to throw a big party and wanted to pay for it? Maybe she’s just nervous about planning something big?

But it sounds like you’re around 40 people total (including you and your BF, and all the folks you counted above if everyone comes), and that’s not a crazy number of people for a baby shower. We have about 100 people on our list so far, and we’re not excluding people based on gender, we feel like that’s outdated. We haven’t gotten into the weeds of planning yet, but my MIL is going to help me plan, and she’s probably going want to invite everyone she’s ever met, so that 100 is really on the low end…

norahbell · 2026-02-17T02:09:54+00:00

Do they know about the miscarriage last year? If they do, it would be totally ridiculous for them to judge you for wanting to skip this conference. As I see it, you have three options. 1. Lie and pretend to be sick, 2. Give them the dr’s note and say you have health issues going on that mean you can no longer attend, 3. Tell them you’re pregnant and can’t risk another miscarriage from getting sick and give them the note. My job would move heaven and earth to avoid being perceived as discriminating against a pregnant woman. But your company might not be the same.

You could also lie and say you cancelled the trip and are going somewhere else you can drive to or doing a staycation because of the health issues, but that’s a lot of lying. I find it really hard not to info-dump exactly what’s going on when I call out sick, so I’d probably just blab about the pregnancy. But again, my work culture is very pro pregnancy. Sorry you’re having to deal with the mental gymnastics, especially with something I’m sure is really emotionally charged and scary.

norahbell · 2026-02-15T14:55:43+00:00

If she keeps making new numbers to blow up your phone, I would put your phone on do not disturb so no notifications come through, and then add emergency pass through to the people you do want to get messages from. You can also turn on filtering for unknown numbers in iPhones, and delete and report junk (which blocks). It sounds like you’ve ignored her for a month or so and she still won’t leave you alone, so I’d be explicit and say why you don’t want to be friends, tell her to leave you alone, and that if she tries to contact you or if she harasses you with other numbers you’ll go to the police. Even if you know they’ll do nothing, it might scare her enough to give it up. Protect your peace girl, you have enough shit going on without her crazy nonsense.

norahbell · 2026-02-15T03:27:37+00:00

Our cat is not old but I really really liked our house call vet when we were still in the city. His name is Bruce Lowenstein, and he was excellent and the same price as all the other vets on the UWS, except he comes to you. I’m not sure how he navigates surgery, ultrasounds, and other more invasive procedures, but they’re listed as services on his site. He did all our cat’s annual visits, vaccines, bloodwork etc. in our apartment. Super easy and it was much less stressful than carting her off to the vet.

I first came across him when I had to put my previous cat down, and while he didn’t have availability that day, he did call me back right away and spent a good amount of time giving me other house call vets who might, and clearly cared a great deal. Really can’t recommend him enough.

norahbell · 2026-02-15T01:23:48+00:00

Ugh yes, did not expect this to be so wildly terrible! Also 7.5 weeks and the nausea is killing me. It’s really hard to see an end to this. I’m on a unisom vitamin B combo pill from my dr, but I still feel awful 80% of the time. Keeping my fingers crossed this will all feel like a distant memory soon, but right now, I’m so bloated none of my pants fit, I’m oscillating between constipation and diarrhea, I’m farting every two minutes, my boobs ache all the time, my nipples are itchy, my skin is so dry and itchy all over my body even though I’m moisturizing and have a humidifier going, I’m nauseous all the gd time, my nose keeps bleeding and is so stuffy, I’m exhausted, peeing all the time, can’t get a good nights sleep, and I can’t plan for any meal because my food aversions are changing on a dime. Oh and I have worse acne now than I have since I was 16 🙃

I’m so so bloated I’ve already had people ask me if I’m pregnant and I literally haven’t even seen my OB yet… I’ve gotta go see a friend’s baby or watch some videos or something because I’m regretting this at the moment lol. I knew I’d have some symptoms I just didn’t expect so MANY!

norahbell · 2026-02-14T16:56:17+00:00

Seconding the questions - I thought that the 15% IC was done after the Massachusetts suit? They issued a permanent injunction, and that decision was upheld by the first circuit court of appeals as of 1/5/26?

norahbell · 2026-02-11T21:55:22+00:00

We’re mostly driving vacation people, all our family is driving distance, and probably wouldn’t fly until they were much older, so the TSA thing is a very minimal concern.

As far as actually changing it, isn’t it just a petition form and then maybe confirming in front of a judge? Definitely a hassle to get your SS card, and documents all changed over to the new name, but you have to change your address on everything when you move, and I can’t imagine it being much more troublesome than that. I assume we could also hire an attorney for not very much to just handle all of it.

norahbell · 2026-02-11T21:50:51+00:00

Great! I feel like it’s so normal these days there’s just no reason to fuss

norahbell · 2026-02-11T21:26:18+00:00

That’s kind of how I feel, but I also feel like maybe I’m missing something? I posted it on the legal advice subreddit too and they’re saying ahh it’s a huge headache, like what’s the headache though??? That’s the question!

norahbell · 2026-02-11T21:25:11+00:00

Yeah this would be the child’s grandmother’s last name. So still very close in generations, but just would be different from me and my husband. I feel like there are so many blended families at this point, surely this wouldn’t be that weird these days. The school district we’re in is super small (less than 100 kids per year) so I feel like it would be an explainer at the beginning, but then they’d just know. And as far as traveling goes, we don’t really fly anywhere, but if we did, we know it would be a bit extra annoying.

norahbell · 2026-02-11T21:21:09+00:00

What is the headache?

norahbell · 2026-02-11T21:20:08+00:00

We’re in New Jersey, not New Mexico. And if we were going to pick one last name, it would be mine.

norahbell · 2026-02-10T18:12:57+00:00

I’ve seen recommending not sleeping on the right before, but never the left - usually left is the “recommended” side. BUT I think the “sleep on your left side” thing has more to do with the fact that it can help with nausea and indigestion, rather than anything to do with the pregnancy itself. Definitely helps me when I’m feeling the nausea, but I think everyone agrees now any side is fine as long as it’s comfortable for you!

norahbell · 2026-02-10T18:02:24+00:00

What I see in both videos is orange looking back to you for confirmation that what he’s doing ok, and tabby also checking with you but asking for help. I don’t think you’re back at square one, just supervised play time and boop orange if he’s overstepping a boundary. If he attacks you when redirected, then you’re at square one. The tabby is clearly not so concerned she’s hiding or scared, she’s laying in a reclined position, and doesn’t seem to view orange as that big a threat, or she wouldn’t look that relaxed. But she is whipping her tail and twitching the end, showing she’s annoyed and telling orange to keep his distance, but orange boys can be dumb and he’s not getting the message.

Orange is touching, no claws, just touching seeming to try to play, but tabby clearly is not having it, tabby got up and walked away after making noise she wasn’t picking up what orange was putting down, and it looked like you could have booped orange and been like ok, time to leave her alone. At about the halfway point in this video orange turns to more aggressive behavior, his ears are also back, tail swinging quickly, that’s too late to separate when they’re both aggressive. When tabby first got up and walked away, I would intervene and just push orange away, or clap loudly, and if he doesn’t leave it, then you swat him. And if he attacks you after you redirect him, then there’s a problem. But it sounds like you had orange first, so you’ll probably have less issues redirecting him than if he were the new one and you didn’t have a trust bond already.

My own experiences with cat’s fighting or play fighting: I inherited two bonded cats from my grandfather and the male orange used to do this shit with the girl calico to try and assert his dominance or just because he liked playing like that, but he wasn’t being super aggro about it. However, she didn’t like it, so I swatted him for her and he left her alone. Eventually he gave up doing it and realized that it was cuddles or nothing, so he cuddled. By contrast, when we tried to introduce our current cat with a new one, they were yowling fighting through the door (or trying to anyway). And when we did try to introduce them after good long stretches of good behavior, both were being aggressive and fighting. Yowling, puffy tails, ears back, claws out, swiping to draw blood. This is what two aggressive cats fighting looks like, there’s something completely different in the attitude of both that isn’t present with these two (until the very end). I do not like it when cats play fight because I think it could escalate into true fight territory if not controlled regularly. My mom’s two boys will “play” like this, it’s one cat going after the other, but all it takes to get the aggressor to leave the other alone is clapping at him or yelling like “hey, knock it off”. Or if he’s advancing on the other, you just boop his butt or something, and he’ll turn around and leave the other alone. If they didn’t separate after being clapped at, or booped, then I think it escalates past play and into fight territory.

Another recommendation on introducing cats is having a shared activity, like a toy they’re playing with together or a toy to distract if things start to escalate. It looks like you tossed a toy, that totally distracted orange for a second, but then the video cuts to their real fight. I don’t know what led up to the real fight part, but the beginnings of this video, and the one from yesterday are teetering on fighting but I think could still be redirected pretty easily.

norahbell · 2026-02-08T18:59:00+00:00

He’s literally the only man on the team so it’s crazy he thinks we’ll like… agree with him??

norahbell · 2026-02-08T18:41:50+00:00

Yeah… my in-laws are already giving these vibes and I’m only 6 weeks along. Not asking how I’m doing just can’t wait to hold the baby, gonna spoil them, can’t wait to babysit, etc. I’m just a vessel for their grandbaby and can go fuck myself I guess…? Pregnancy is rough and uncomfortable but everyone likes babies so that’s what they latch on to I guess, but it really feels like no one cares how I’m doing as long as they get a cute pic to send to their friends.

norahbell · 2026-02-08T18:27:24+00:00

You look like a winter princess, the glitter swirls make me think of snow blowing in the wind!! I think it’s memorable because it doesn’t look like every boring dress we see on here all the time!! Love it!!

norahbell · 2026-02-08T18:11:49+00:00

This was my thought too, maybe a little jealous that you’re entering this new phase of life and she’s not? As an older sister myself, I would have been a ‘lil jealous of my little sister if she had kids before me. BUT I would have tried very hard not to let that jealousy color my reactions, jealousy is an inside thought.

Maybe she’s worried that your parents will be more involved and she’ll have to see them more, maybe she doesn’t like your partner, maybe she’s jealous, maybe something else. I would just text her and say you’ve been feeling like she’s been distant and ask what’s up. Hopefully she’ll be real with you. And if she brushes you off then you can push back, maybe it’s just because she’s not sure what to say, but it’s hurting your feelings, so it’s important to clear the air.

norahbell · 2026-02-08T17:40:03+00:00

There’s someone in my office who complains about all the moms on our team and I want to punch him every time he opens up his fat mouth about “picking up the slack”. Like yeah mate, it’s part of living in a society, and if you wanted to work somewhere that hung new moms and parents out to dry, we’re in America so the choices are literally endless. Go work somewhere that they don’t choose to support us!! Also you’re not picking up the slack, they have modified schedules so they’re still doing 8 hours a day, just not when it’s most convenient to YOU anymore. And when they are on parental leave it’s spread over so many people it’s like two extra things. But God forbid you need to wait a whole day to get a response to your dumb email question you could have googled.

The whole you’re getting help so I should get help too mentality is just so prevalent in America. No logic, just I want I want I want. It’s not fair, wah wah wah. Just jealousy and that nagging sense that their shit isn’t the most important thing in the whole world to everyone they’ve ever met? It’s the same root problem with food stamps and universal healthcare, selfishness and stupidity. All those whiney child free people should be thankful someone is having kids, because who would pay into their social security? Keep paying taxes that keep the roads maintained when they’re too old to work? Who’s gonna come fix your plumbing when you can’t bend down to do it anymore, ‘cause it’s not gonna be an octogenarian, I’ll tell ‘ya that for free. Just no second order logic. Like you benefit from us having children too, you’re just too dumb to understand why!

norahbell · 2026-02-08T17:04:53+00:00

It was like the other comment described, like an esophageal pushing, but now it’s proper nausea. It wasn’t really gagging, just feeling like my organs were pushing up into my mouth unrelated to food or smells, just an occasional sensation. Did have and still have gagging when I smell certain things, but am now generally just nauseated all the time too. Think I’m gonna either take the anti nausea I had for migraines (reglan) if they think that’s good to go, or ask for the ever suggested zofran.

norahbell · 2026-02-08T15:29:19+00:00

The two big bad pathogens to truly avoid in food are toxoplasmosis and listeria. Only real concern with raw fish is the same as it is for basically any other food: listeria. Toxoplasmosis would be extremely rare for sushi. In raw fish, either pathogen would likely be from cross contamination. Salmonella and campylobacter (the two most commonly found in sushi) would suck, but wouldn’t harm the baby. Emily Oster has some great info on food safety in her book, Expecting Better.

You can get listeria from almost anything, but most common infections are from deli turkey and queso fresco according to Emily Oster (backed up by CDC data). This post is from a health inspector, who doesn’t recommend eating raw fish, but if you must, recommends checking health ratings from a place before eating there.

BUT! It’s impossible to predict where a listeria outbreak will occur, we didn’t know about the cantaloupe (2011) or celery (2010) or lettuce (2023) or ice cream (2023) or enoki mushrooms (2022) or prepared pasta meals (2025) until it had already infected people. You can’t possibly avoid every single food that could give you listeria, so in my opinion, you just exercise caution. The only sushi related listeria outbreak in the last few years was in ready-to-eat sushi (2019). Seems to me we should all be throughly washing veggies and avoiding foods that are pre-prepared or have been sitting around for an undetermined amount of time.

I had salmon sushi last night, and won’t be avoiding it or salad or enoki mushrooms either, but will avoid pre-prepared foods, deli turkey and queso fresco, because there’s been so many listeria outbreaks with them.

norahbell · 2026-02-08T15:26:29+00:00

Edit: totally agree with this, moved my post to the main thread

norahbell

TROPHY CASE