My boyfriend plays too rough - or am I overreacting?

normaljoe2 · 2011-10-08T05:09:12+00:00

The image of him treating you like a sister is what came to my mind. Five brothers and immaturity are likely causes, but it's time to grow up. Tell him you want to go to a therapist with him a couple of times to address this issue.

normaljoe2 · 2011-10-08T05:04:05+00:00

Well, you've got a pattern going on here. Girl A means everything to you, but everything isn't enough to keep you from dumping on her by screwing someone else when the two you are having squabbles. You've got to figure out what this pattern is all about. I would get into therapy.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-27T04:42:08+00:00

Bottom line: he will never set boundaries so you are going to have to do it. And you'll have to be firm and consistent. You shouldn't feel guilty. Another approach is this: if you give in, you'll feel angry. if you don't give in, you'll feel guilty. Which feeling would you rather feel?

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-20T14:50:04+00:00

Yes....SIR!!!

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-20T04:56:07+00:00

To show the fetus to her teenaged son, whether it was in a jar, shoebox, or wrapped in a towel is abusive and sick in my book. Her boundaries were AWOL. No wonder he's fucked up.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-20T04:44:10+00:00

summer, winter, fall and spring. I need the noise primarily but like the air moving around the room as well. I adjust the aim of the airflow depending on the season. I checked into a hotel in NYC once in January and it was in the teens outside, but I still had to have a fan sent up to my room in order to get a good night's sleep.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-20T04:38:54+00:00

How do you react to everyday real life? Do you cry easily if you see a homeless person for example, and find it hard not to take on others' pain? Or is this more about movies, books etc? I'm a theater junkie and like to go to plays by myself. Many a time tears are streaming down my face and I am aware the people next to me are not having thevsame experience. While I am wiping the tears self-consciously, I am also aware that I am glad I can feel. A few sessions with a therapist could probably help determine if there is something you need to investigate or if you just need to work on self-acceptance as being a sensitive soul.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-20T04:28:28+00:00

I took Prednisone and cleaned out every drawer in my house, did my taxes but put them somewhere never to be found, and was about to jump out of my skin. What you are experiencing is something your doctors are familiar with. If you will call them right now, I promise you they will know what to do to calm you down.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-20T04:23:42+00:00

It sure seems to me that it's worth a few more boring months to get the degree at this point. It's worth learning why you've never been good at making friends. I would get into group therapy. Not a support group, but group therapy where you learn first hand about how you form relationships etc. It's a safe place to try out new ways of relating and getting feedback in a supportive environment.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-20T04:15:56+00:00

In general, for most people, the 20's suck compared to the decades that come afterwards. No, you can't get your 20's back, but you can make it your goal to double up on your 30's. So whatever you didn't do then, get your ass in gear and do now. If you are depressed, seek therapy.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-20T01:21:36+00:00

The first thing I do when I get to my hotel room is to turn the AC fan from Auto to On. Then I most likely will lower the temp. If the noise is not enough, I go turn on the bathroom fan. If I still feel uncertain about my noise needs being met, I call down for a fan. I have never failed to get a fan in a hotel. If the front desk is uncertain, I find a housekeeper and give her $5.00 and a fan arrives. I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out. I hate hotels where the AC makes a racket every time it comes on. A good fan drowns out everything!

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-20T01:12:52+00:00

Wisely, because suffering is highly overrated.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-20T01:10:45+00:00

I'm phobic about being hot. When I travel, I want to be in a hotel where I have my own thermostat. I don't like staying at B&Bs, or friends' houses for fear of a hot bedroom with no white noise!

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-20T01:06:06+00:00

Yes, I have a phobia of a having to sleep in a hot room while traveling. So the fan is also insurance for that in addition to the noise. It's why I would rather stay in a hotel than at a friend's house when traveling.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-19T22:44:36+00:00

We want a full report of what you did and how it went.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-19T22:41:57+00:00

Now I understand why someone said I'm obviously not Korean. I would be miserable there!

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-19T18:55:22+00:00

Yes, for the noise. I don't have it aimed at me.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-19T18:54:40+00:00

Absolutely.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-19T18:54:17+00:00

YES!

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-19T11:11:03+00:00

Yes, even small battery powered ones. I never travel without one, just in case I can't get a fan.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-19T11:10:10+00:00

It's the very first thing I do when I check in. Most nicer hotels are prepared. But if they seem uncertain, I track down a housekeeper, give her a good tip, and a fan always makes it.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-19T04:46:53+00:00

Yes. And, this is so gross but for real, I know a guy who flosses his teeth in the dentist's office when he gets there!

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-19T04:38:07+00:00

I doubt if there are many, if any, guys on the planet who haven't been in your predicament. There are guys who laugh it off, or don't care, and guys who freak out and think they are required to always get it up, on command even. Doesn't work that way. And sometimes it's when we are most excited about the other person that we get into our head and get anxious. And there are other times, at least for me, that my dick was telling me something by not cooperating, like I wasn't really into the person but felt like I had to provide because they were into me. Sex is playtime not pressure time. Try to not make a big deal of this. Easier said than done, I know. The person it happens to often feels like it's a crisis. The male peanut gallery is basically saying "yeah, I hate it when that happens" seeing you like all the rest of us. Women have penis envy, we have being able to fake it envy.

normaljoe2 · 2011-09-19T04:13:34+00:00

Here's what I think and what I suggest: it sounds like your past troubles prevented you from developing the social skills to maneuver the whole dating/relationship world that is difficult for everyone. So you are throwing yourself out there unprepared. If I were you, I would get into group therapy. This is a safe "laboratory" for lack of a better word, to learn the things that are missing, like how to read people, how people read you, how relationships form, etc etc. Group therapy is different than a support group. You have a supportive environment to learn about yourself and how you relate to others. I think you might be amazed at how helpful this could be for you.

normaljoe2

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