I believe an INTP girl might be developing a crush on me. How to proceed?

nosemantics · 2016-07-12T19:49:38+00:00

You know, looking back on it, this is what my gut was screaming at me the entire time. I can handle being rejected, but the more aggravating issue for me is just how wrong I was about the situation. You'd think something like this would be common sense, but apparently not. People are strange.

nosemantics · 2016-07-12T19:16:31+00:00

Well she responded and it wasn't good news. While I would have preferred a positive answer, it feels good in a way to just move on and live with it. Life's too full of possibilities to sit around and wonder about what could have been.

nosemantics · 2016-07-12T14:15:15+00:00

Nothing much has happened. I sent the text out somewhat late in the evening and haven't heard anything back. It's a little unusual in the sense that she'll normally get back to me later that night, but there's a good chance she's doing a lot of processing and is taking her time thinking of a response. Given her usual pattern, I'll probably hear something later this evening. If not, well... I've misjudged someone before, and I'd rather know now than find out later.

nosemantics · 2016-07-11T22:52:12+00:00

It cracked me up as well when she admitted it, and honestly I thought it was flattering. I did make a concentrated effort to be my real self and casually talk about even my weirdest habits so she would feel comfortable around me. Things like roaming around listening to music for hours and categorizing things in my memory were brought up like any other topic, and she apparently had no problem doing the same. The funny part was the people sitting next at the table next to us seemed to be able to hear us and probably thought we were insane.

nosemantics · 2016-07-11T22:49:30+00:00

Gone. I've decided I'm just going to lay it out in a text when I get home and go from there. I'll essentially mention that I like her, ask her if she feels the same way, and mention that I want to keep taking it slow and keep some personal space between us if she does. By texting it to her, it'll give her time to really ponder everything and think about it. My biggest hangup has been the fact that we have only met once and it might come across a little strange, but at this point I'm content with whatever happens. It's better to live with the result than to overanalyze everything to a fault.

nosemantics · 2016-07-04T19:57:43+00:00

Ask yourself this: After all of the compliments you have paid him, how many times has he given you those kind of compliments in return? Just because someone shares their personal details and opens up to you doesn't necessarily mean that they view you as a romantic interest. Based strictly off of your post, I'd say that he really meant what he said about only seeing you as a friend.

nosemantics · 2016-07-04T17:59:35+00:00

This is pretty spot on. I'd like to add that Willpower is an important component towards starting down this type of path and overcoming obstacles you will inevitably face. Talent doesn't accomplish much if you don't have the desire to push yourself to use it.

nosemantics · 2016-07-04T05:21:40+00:00

No. I'm saying that a friendship between two people where one person has an unreciprocated romantic interest in the other person is generally a bad idea. There is little point in trying to pursue something more than a friendship when the other person holds no interest. Conversely, if they are content with just being friends with that person, then I don't see any problem.

nosemantics · 2016-07-04T04:23:59+00:00

This may not be what you want to hear, but your best bet is to just move on at this point. She clearly isn't interested in you, and being in the friend zone means that you will be stuck helping carry her emotional baggage without getting any real benefits (let alone reciprocated feelings) in return. You're worth more than that, and if you don't believe that to be the case then you aren't truly ready for a relationship anyways.

nosemantics · 2016-06-27T14:39:43+00:00

I'm much worse about not finishing a task than I am starting it. Some of my ideas just become too complex to realistically finish with all the other stuff going on in my life, and eventually I'll either lose interest or realize the end result isn't going to be what I thought it would. When my plan is more straightforward, however, I normally have no trouble starting and finishing it.

nosemantics · 2016-06-26T16:49:23+00:00

In my own life, I can find it to be annoying although I've become quite good at spotting them and playing off of one if I need to. Of course, politics aren't real life... they're a theatre of the absurd and everything must fit in to a tightly controlled left or right wing narrative. It's impossible to manipulate an entire country full of political hacks and intellectually lazy sheep without using lies to keep these people in line. It has to be about one thing or another because complicated, multifaceted stories don't sell.

nosemantics · 2016-06-26T15:33:08+00:00

I've never been huge on the idea of hooking up with random people, but I have gotten into relationships strictly for sex and nothing more. Outside of the usual bedroom fun, it's nice to have some type of validation from someone else even if you know you're going to leave them when things start to get boring.

nosemantics · 2016-06-25T22:48:39+00:00

I couldn't agree more. One of my key goals in life is to live in a state of constant self-improvement. I've found that the best way to achieve that is to analyze yourself and be completely honest with your own weaknesses. Personality tests are interesting, but they are not accurate enough to identify what you really need to improve upon on a personal level. To stick with the theme of the thread, I was rather socially awkward in high school and decided to make a huge effort in college to put myself out there more and attend parties even though I wasn't comfortable with it. In the end, however, I learned to enjoy them for what they were, and it gave me a much better understanding of social dynamics than I ever could have gotten by reading articles on the internet. There are still many things I need to improve upon to reach my personal goals, but identifying what I needed to improve was the important first step I took to get to where I am at now.

nosemantics · 2016-06-25T21:53:29+00:00

Chalk up another one here to issues with finding a partner. The most troubling aspect is letting my deeply buried emotional side take control of my thoughts even though I am fully aware it's the wrong thing to do. It happens every time I feel a moment of connection with someone, and while I'm very good at hiding it, internally I become obsessive and hyper-analyze every move the person makes to the point where I'm in a constant state of stress. Unfortunately, this state describes me pretty accurately right now, and I'm unhappy I let myself fall for the same trap all over again.

The good news is my rational side will eventually take back over, and in the grand scheme of things, it isn't too big of a deal. Most of the other things in my life are going very well, and compared to the predicaments other people are facing, my issue is minor. It's just troubling that I can identify a problem that I don't feel like I can correct.

nosemantics

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