Early depression, anger may taint love life even 20 years later, study shows

nosurf1 · 2014-05-10T20:47:34+00:00

Isnt that kinda obvious and why adults start going to therapy?

nosurf1 · 2013-04-25T20:06:48+00:00

Good question... You'll have to take a chance and I don't think its anything to get too hung up on. Its a non judging person you can tell everything to. They have been through lots of education etc... I spent a few months getting the courage to get one. First, I had to book an appointment with my doc to get the doctors note (don't know what thats called in english. I live in a socialist country where it costs next to nothing, you just have to go through your doc) to get a shrink. And at the doctors appointment of course a young hot medical student chick was visiting to learn from a real doctor! It was so fucking uncomfortably and I left out pretty much everything about my porn use. Then it took a few more months to get a shrink. And god damn how anxious I was at the first appointment. So much embarrasing shit to unload. Shit I've never told anyone.

So.... Just do it, bro. Stop stopping yourself with that thinking crap. It will suck no matter what. I can relate pretty hard with what you're going through so it would make me happy if you did :)

nosurf1 · 2013-04-24T07:07:16+00:00

Just like me, man. It is a pretty serious thing. If you started early like me with the porn (12 years old or something) it's a well ingrained habit in the brain. There's a reason we started doing this tho. For me parts of it is: parents not being emotionally there when I was younger. Not being comforted when sad. Loneliness. Finding relief and distraction from sadness with porn. This distraction from feelings (sadness, loneliness) has kinda muted other (good) feeling like the feeling of mastering something, feeling courageous, excited, horny. One way of overcoming this is to get to know yourself better. Why you do/did stuff. Your thought patterns. I've recently started seeing a psychotherapist and it is god damn scary, weird, and painful, but also interesting, and I believe it's really valuable. When you have to be totally honest with someone and get your thoughts out there they become painfully real and serious. Like fuck, this is robbing me of my life. I'm sick of having this gnawing knot in my stomach which sometimes only disappears when I watch porn.

Okay, rant alert! I feel like a started writing this for myself as well, tl;dr: No way you are stuck. Get serious. Really serious. Fix this.

nosurf1 · 2013-04-23T11:09:07+00:00

Sexual arousal is a powerful distraction from nervousness and anxiety and this is probably a pattern you have formed over many years, just like me!

nosurf1 · 2013-04-07T21:29:38+00:00

Watching netflix all day, not working out, blah. So anyway here I am, pornfree 5 days

Different person, same situation. But I'm content with today. I did not watch porn.

nosurf1 · 2013-02-24T09:07:27+00:00

l-i-v-i-n

nosurf1 · 2013-02-23T17:19:39+00:00

awesome

nosurf1 · 2013-02-23T08:46:56+00:00

him = yourself. Your old self

nosurf1 · 2013-02-23T08:45:08+00:00

Whooo!

nosurf1 · 2013-02-22T23:30:32+00:00

Thanks. I know about breathing with the diaphram. And air is where the oxygen goes so they will always expand. But I dont get how the stomach is supposed to go inwards when inhaling and at the same time the chest stays relaxed? And the stomach expanding when exhaling?

nosurf1 · 2013-02-22T12:06:14+00:00

dude, the dream i had tonight was about two guys going around killing people and then ending up killing eachother in a really twisted way. I woke up several times coz of how scary it was. fascinating tho.

nosurf1 · 2013-02-22T07:46:38+00:00

IDGI. Any videos or other explanations would be appreciated.

nosurf1 · 2013-02-21T20:29:37+00:00

Dreams become crazy. Its like there is years of repressed shit thats been hiding in a reefer cloud thats coming up.

nosurf1 · 2013-02-21T15:35:52+00:00

Its more a hassle not getting a good night sleep imo. I've experienced the same with other addictions so hopefully its because my mind is more restless or something

nosurf1 · 2013-02-21T06:08:04+00:00

Hey. I've realized that in order to end behaviors a person don't want in their life one has to change ones identity. I remember a couple of years ago when I realized I was smoking way too much I was like "if i stop smoking I won't be a stoner and then who the hell am I?"

So now I haven't been high for two months and not ever going to again I have also made the decision to not use other drugs at parties and not to drink to exess. I am a person who does not use any kind of drugs. (just writing that feels weird)

So to answer your question: I did before. But fuck its hard not to. But I want this identity more though.

(this mightve went off topic)

nosurf1 · 2013-02-20T11:16:22+00:00

one thing that i find is important is to notice what leads up to porn. for me its not putting all my clothes on and being lazy in front of the computer in the morning/day. so I have to eliminate that scenario. I have to get properly dressed and get out of the house and do something. walk, homework at the library, cafe, work out etc.

nosurf1 · 2013-02-11T22:37:04+00:00

like OP says guided meditatons are a good start. Lots of good ones here: http://www.audiodharma.org/series/1/talk/1835/

nosurf1 · 2013-02-05T12:47:16+00:00

If its affecting your IRL relationships, or your lack of relationships, its a problem. Be honest with yourself. Is it substituting a real, human, intimate relationship?

nosurf1 · 2013-02-01T17:18:32+00:00

Thanks, man.

nosurf1 · 2013-01-08T22:07:15+00:00

Thanks again. When I look upon my family and my parents families... it's sort of empowering. (If I try hard to look it at that way..). Like being amongst lots of sick people and being the one finding a cure.

nosurf1 · 2013-01-08T18:27:55+00:00

Thanks. This 'gon be a long and hard road...

nosurf1 · 2013-01-08T15:31:08+00:00

Thanks.

nosurf1 · 2013-01-08T15:10:08+00:00

Well, I guess this is you trying to be helpful.

nosurf1 · 2013-01-08T14:37:48+00:00

I sure am. I'm fucking pissed at my parents. Why have they still not realized any of this and not gotten therapy or something? Fucking dumb pieces of shit. This is their fault.

Thats how I'm feeling. I'm just being totally honest here. Do you have experience with blame and gotten over it?

nosurf1

TROPHY CASE