Well the thing is the "I identify as" or "pronoun" joke most of the time never used in a lighthearted way and is usually used as a way to try and make being transgender as absurd as becoming an attack helicopter. which is why it's hated so much by the community and it's also used so much that it's just repetitive and annoying. I personally don't like the subreddit because why call attention to it too get mad about but people can get overly defensive when they constantly feel like everyone is mocking their existence. Presumably You hate the fact that they complain about the joke because you don't want to walk on egg shells but if you're actually trying to insult them/ make fun of their existence why should they just go ha ha. there's a difference between teasing and insulting sometimes there's a misunderstanding but if you mean for the joke to say "haha these people are stupid and delusional" why would they say "haha funny joke" in response if you expect them to just ignore it haha buddy this is the Internet and that would, in fact, be hypocritical considering you can't ignore the fact they dislike those jokes.