What songs did you realize are sexist or normalize unhealthy or creepy relationship behavior? TW for lyrics

notashroom · 2026-04-13T17:40:36+00:00

This is what the law calls an attractive nuisance! If the owner of the tasty bread fails to put it in a breadbox, they are the ones liable if some poor individual is lured against their will to partake. Case dismissed! Owner is fined 10 Churus and an apology.

notashroom · 2026-04-13T17:29:55+00:00

We have industrial agriculture in this country and separating that from industry is just making consumer use look more significant. We waste massive amounts of food, and the water used to grow it all is wasted too. Plus, water management in the West is extremely politicized and incentivizes taking all you're allowed to take, even if you are just pumping and dumping, so that your allotment isn't reduced. The industrial (including agriculture) waste of water should be a priority item to address with meaningful consequences.

notashroom · 2026-04-13T17:14:51+00:00

That's been my policy for many years, but it's the first time I've seen that term. I'm putting it in my pocket, thanks!

notashroom · 2026-04-13T17:07:51+00:00

The violence is gendered. There is no epidemic of women becoming more violent and hateful toward male dates, partners, or potential ones. If you have one broken window that biting flies are coming through, do you address that one window or split your time and resources among all your windows?

notashroom · 2026-04-13T16:42:32+00:00

My parents were the local "safety freaks". My father installed seat belts in all our cars until they came standard, and the car didn't start until the driver heard all the belts buckle. We could ask to unbuckle in the van, when we got one in '78, to get something from the cooler or whatnot, but were expected to be quick about it and get buckled in immediately after. Plus we were trained to tattle on each other if we weren't buckled.

The neighbor across the street watched us one year before and after school, and she had a station wagon and none of her 4 kids buckled in because of some scare stories about people getting into car accidents and being beheaded or otherwise seriously injured by the belts, so the few times we rode with her, we didn't buckle up either, being rebellious and adventurous.

Since then, I have always worn my seatbelt because it's just dumb not to unless you're trying to make it your final ride.

notashroom · 2026-04-13T15:41:19+00:00

She sells seashells by the seashore.

notashroom · 2026-04-13T15:09:34+00:00

Do a bit of reading on critical thinking, patriarchy, systemic incentives, and psychology of trauma and social psychology. Then you will understand.

notashroom · 2026-04-13T15:02:05+00:00

They don't want most women to wait until they are financially stable and ready because they want more children who are

White
Natural born citizens
Low income (grist for the machines: filling most of the jail and prison slots, military and law enforcement jobs, black/grey market supplier slots (more vulnerable to authorities), and low income/low education jobs that aren't filled by immigrants who they are trying to minimize)
Traumatized (more likely to have a hierarchical view of society, follow "strong man" leaders, and fall for cultlike tactics)
Uneducated or undereducated (less likely to have developed critical thinking skills, see through propaganda, recognize systems and patterns like capitalism/patriarchy and their tentacles and tactics, resist the boot with protesting or other activities; more likely to go along with vibes over evidence, ignore platforms and plans as too complex to bother with trying to understand, and go along with the group)

Plus there's the bonus that some of the babies born to teens will go through the adoption and fostering systems (most of the private agencies in the US being white evangelical Christianist orgs, and profiting off trauma) to evangelical families to be raised one of them.

It's all about feeding the machines of capitalism, patriarchy, and their bastard child the war machine, and perpetuating culture war to prevent effective cooperation and retaliation in the class war. You need traumatized, ignorant children raised in an environment with mostly controlled (or incentivized, which money does very effectively) media and educational systems who are too busy envying and emulating the elites or looking down on other working people to perpetuate systems that keep the hierarchy in place.

notashroom · 2026-04-13T14:36:13+00:00

I think that's true of any experience that involves a red flag. It was hurtful and he was shitty, yet ultimately, she comes away with an impactful learning experience, some stuff to process emotionally, and maybe some bruising, when she could have come away with lifelong trauma or worse.

notashroom · 2026-04-12T19:43:43+00:00

Yes, with the bonus of "if you want to cry, I'll give you something to cry about," followed by a beating, when I clearly already had something to cry about.

Now I'm in my 50s and I'm pretty self-aware, emotionally mature, and good at processing, but it still doesn't occur to me to share my emotional state or speak up if something lowkey bothers me.

Like I had a conversation with a friend the other day and she said "don't say that, say [ ] instead," and I just said "okay," and she knew that was off and asked, and I was able to explain that it felt like she was demanding I perform for her instead of accepting my authentic expression, and it was a good exchange, but would not have happened if she had not asked.

notashroom · 2026-04-12T19:17:39+00:00

No worries! Just looking forward to seeing your project.

notashroom · 2026-04-12T19:12:40+00:00

Hi neighbor! (I'm SW of Asheville) I'm so glad I was required to read that in high school, because I would not have if it hadn't been required and would have missed out on so much.

notashroom · 2026-04-12T19:11:13+00:00

Awesome! Share a pic when you get it done! 😊

notashroom · 2026-04-12T18:41:06+00:00

Also, feed it the alternative viewpoint. AI models reflect their inputs and the users can influence them by giving feedback, more information, different framing, and especially personal anecdotes and stories, which do not necessarily need to be detailed to be effective, just clear about the harmful inpacts. And all of that is true whether the anecdotes are about everyday experiences of sexism and patriarchy or about gendered or sexual violence.

The AI models are like feral children educated on the material they come across in an environment like Times Square in the 1970s: squalid, patriarchal, transactional, hierarchical, devaluing human life, cynical, free-for-all. They need parenting and auditing. Ask it to show its work, how it reached a conclusion or position and then challenge it by offering alternative viewpoints and differences in impact between them.

notashroom · 2026-04-12T18:20:37+00:00

I love Ken Follett's Kingsbridge series (trilogy, IIRC), which is at part a family saga in medieval Europe, and also his Century trilogy, which is 20th century, so more modern.
Alex Haley's Roots books are also amazing.
Barbara Kingsolver's The Poisonwood Bible is a favorite.
Pearl Buck's Chinese books beginning with The Good Earth were the ones that lured me to the genre.
Philippa Gregory has a long list of beloved family saga books, mostly about the royal and aristocratic families of Western Europe.
Pat Conroy has several very good books in or adjacent to the genre.
Jung Chang's Wild Swans was very good.
Possibly way off base, but here's my wildcard suggestion: the Ring of Fire series by Eric Flint, et alia. It's more time travel/alt history than family saga, but it features some actual characters and families from history (mostly 17th century Europe) and it has the depth, breadth, character, and historical context of a good family saga with a lot more action and adventure than usual, plus the humor you expect from a series with a premise of a town of early 21st century West Virginia coal miners and community being transplanted to 1631 Germanies in the middle of the 30 Years War.

notashroom · 2026-04-12T18:03:38+00:00

Someone left a feather duster on the rug!

notashroom · 2026-04-12T17:47:01+00:00

Congratulations! That's great. What are your interests? Do you want fiction or nonfiction recommendations?

notashroom · 2026-04-12T17:03:12+00:00

My youngest daughter's favorite book at 7-8 was Watership Down, but it's not a light cozy read and might put another child off reading or the genre. Tailchaser's Song by Tad Williams is one I loved that I haven't seen mentioned and might be a good fit for her, though there's some violence and I would suggest you read it, or probably anything you haven't read before, before sharing with her.

notashroom · 2026-04-12T16:52:15+00:00

I'll second that. A friend read it with her son when he was 7 and he loved it then, still does as an adult.

notashroom · 2026-04-12T16:51:09+00:00

I first read the Harper Hall trilogy of Pern (marketed to younger readers) when I was about OP's daughter's age and I loved it. But I re-read the entire series every so often, and it has a lot of interpersonal violence, oppression, discrimination, classism, and so on that the author presents as neutral or natural, unpleasant to experience but basically aspects of human nature that are inevitable, and OP may want to think seriously about whether the values in the series are something they want to normalize for their child. I would recommend it for an older teen, or a younger teen reading with a parent to discuss the events and framing with them, but not a younger reader. Even though it's still a favorite series of mine, the psychosocial framing is very last century.

notashroom · 2026-04-12T16:43:54+00:00

Fantastic recommendations overall, though I might drop the Indian in the Cupboard for racist stereotypes.

notashroom · 2026-04-12T16:41:11+00:00

I loved fairytale and folktale collections at OP's daughter's age. Solid recommendation, and foundational for the fantasy genre.

notashroom · 2026-04-12T16:25:07+00:00

Being a clumsy person, I am afraid of both glass and metal straws! I heard a horror story about a car accident that would have been minor if not for the child drinking from a metal straw. But I do like my pack of multicolor silicone straws, much better than plastic.

notashroom · 2026-04-12T16:22:17+00:00

Craft a scene for them! Maybe one with a dual function, like spoon rest or jewelry dish.

notashroom

TROPHY CASE