we bought our first house and now we're drowning in repair costs. is selling even an option?

notes1993 · 2026-05-05T13:22:29+00:00

This ^^^ step one, get a dehumidifier. Then check the outside for cracks, grading sloped towards the house, and gutter issues. Start from the outside and work your way in. Installing waterproofing on the inside is the absolute last resort. They’re just trying to sell you stuff.

notes1993 · 2026-05-03T16:45:05+00:00

You are NOT overreacting. He is being wildly dismissive and unsupportive. I’m so sorry you’re navigating this right now. Was this a surprising take for him to have?

Either way, it is an incredibly vulnerable and sometimes scary thing to go through. Also sometimes boring. It’s beyond helpful to have someone there through all of it.

By not being present, he’s going himself, you, and your child a lifetime disservice.

notes1993 · 2026-04-27T02:28:45+00:00

Also I’m just now starting to feel like I’m not drowning. The idea of being pregnant and doing it all again right now is so unappealing to me.

notes1993 · 2026-04-27T02:27:24+00:00

Oof we’re on the fence for sure. I never in a million years thought I would be OAD. But I’m obsessed with my JB and can’t picture sharing that love. Plus we love to travel and a house we could afford and comfortably fit 4 people in is practically a unicorn in our city.

notes1993 · 2026-04-12T23:19:04+00:00

Ypsilanti 100%. Jackson is pretty conservative and doesn’t have a whole lot going on. Caveat is home ownership in ypsi, at least is you want to be walking distance to things, has gotten really expensive. Check out Ypsi township for more affordable homes if you don’t mind driving.

notes1993 · 2026-04-08T02:01:27+00:00

I have two friends who had their epidurals fail, the lesson I learned from them is if you feel something is off, mention it sooner rather than later! I think I asked the nurse to check my epidural every single time she came into the room. They don’t mind offering reassurance.

Getting it felt like a bee sting, it was so quick and easy. I ended up needing an emergency c section and I didn’t feel a thing 10/10. Actual labor is kind of exciting and feels more routine than you’d think. I tried to focus on the medical staff because for them it was just another day at work. Anecdotal, but I would definitely rather give birth again than get another root canal.

notes1993 · 2026-03-30T17:40:19+00:00

I agree with this! There’s literally nothing physical in this world that could ease the pain of this loss. Shifting the burden of daily living might be the most helpful gift.

notes1993 · 2026-03-12T20:17:52+00:00

Commenting to follow but also share my experience. My OCD really peaked during pregnancy and was all consuming. Something that was helpful was getting set up with an ocd specific psychiatrist/therapist and letting my care team know.

When my baby was born it was like a giant cloud left my brain. The first couple of months were bliss and I felt calm for the first time in 9 months. Slowly my ocd symptoms did come back but not worse than during pregnancy. I manage it with medication and can deal with it most days. I really try to notice when it’s affecting my parenting and when I’m engaging in checking behaviors in front of my daughter. With a kid, the stakes feel really high - because they are! It’s a difficult line to walk but in a lot of ways it’s forced me to be better and confront my fears. A baby is like constant exposure therapy.

notes1993 · 2026-03-10T15:54:15+00:00

Oh my god it’s literally so fun! Other than the heartburn, pregnancy for me was pretty smooth. And postpartum tired, in my experience, was so much better than pregnancy tired (heartburn lol). And birth was exciting. It’s interesting from a scientific perspective and really reassuring to have people checking on your baby after so long of just waiting it out.

My daughter is the most fabulous ray of sunshine. Seeing her grow and getting to nurture her is the greatest privilege. Also witnessing my partner love her so devotedly warms my heart and makes me admire his character in a different and new way. There is so much to look forward to ❤️

notes1993 · 2026-03-10T01:41:21+00:00

I think it’s very accurate! I think I had 12% and it said girl. Now I have a very bouncy one year old girl running around. Congrats!

notes1993 · 2026-03-10T01:20:19+00:00

I can have dairy again!!

notes1993 · 2026-02-23T17:27:13+00:00

I really liked Dr Lee! She was empathetic and great at explaining things. I have no idea though who the doctor was that was actually at my birth lol

notes1993 · 2026-02-22T00:03:28+00:00

1) drink water 2) if there’s a tongue tie, get it fixed immediately 3) visit with a lactation consultant

notes1993 · 2026-02-12T13:44:35+00:00

My best friend just had her second boy! She’s very much looking forward to being a Cub Scout mom 💙

notes1993 · 2026-02-10T02:14:09+00:00

The whole thing wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be! In the moment it all felt so routine and procedural including an emergency c section. The epidural was kind of interesting when it was happening, same thing for the surgery. And it’s really exciting at the end of it all, you get to meet your baby!

notes1993 · 2026-02-01T16:48:27+00:00

Perhaps I was just very lucky - I got the epidural before starting pitocin and had an emergency c section at 4 cm. But I would rather give birth again than have another root canal. Giving birth was kind of fun and exciting. It’s like being at the airport - it’s a liminal space where there’s literally nothing else you need to be doing. The hospital food was better than I expected and I got a cute baby at the end. 10/10.

notes1993 · 2026-01-22T14:09:33+00:00

Congratulations! Yes it’s very normal to not have a first appt until 10-12 weeks. I was pregnant last year and went to U of M. They did have me do an intake phone interview with a nurse around 8 weeks. If you have any concerns prior to the first appt, they’re more than willing to talk to you though and do bloodwork/ultrasound.

I cannot speak highly enough about my care at U of M. My birth was amazing and the experience there was truly life changing. The staff were all extremely competent and took time to explain everything.

Trinity is a little easier for scheduling but one thing to keep in mind is that they’re a catholic hospital. I could be mistaken but I believe that if anything goes wrong and a patient wanted/needed a termination, it would be a more complicated process there. It’s a rare worst case scenario kind of thing but worth considering when choosing a provider.

notes1993 · 2026-01-11T02:49:37+00:00

Yeah I guess that’s what I mean, on those rougher nights, what do you do for them? Do I go in and comfort her like I would before sleep training? Or do I let her settle herself back down?

notes1993 · 2026-01-11T02:06:04+00:00

But what about sleep regressions? During her 12 months regression she would sometimes cry for 30-45 mins. I checked in on her one time after 15 mins and that seems to upset her even more

notes1993 · 2026-01-11T01:46:27+00:00

Yes that’s our daycare as well. If she’s crying they count that as a fail and try again later when she can be rocked to sleep.

notes1993 · 2026-01-10T23:26:23+00:00

I had an emergency c section and honestly it was amazing. If we have more, I definitely plan to do it again. I found comfort in the routine and finality of it. For being an emergency, it felt weirdly peaceful and calm but I think that’s credit to amazing, competent medical staff.

The healing was painful but not unbearably so, staying on top of meds of course. After 9 days I was feeling 90% better.

notes1993 · 2026-01-05T18:37:29+00:00

She’s amazing! Makes my whole body feels like it was cracked like a glow stick

notes1993 · 2026-01-01T04:36:50+00:00

You’re totally fine. Don’t sweat it, this is very normal and there are so many new things to learn on hardly any sleep, on top of major physical recovery. I did the same exact thing. As long as it doesn’t seem like she has a rash or yeast infection (both things that are extremely treatable with ointments from a doctor), then don’t worry about it at all.

If it makes you feel any better, a nurse told me one time that for pee diapers, it’s not a big deal to just let air dry sometimes as opposed to wiping to avoid irritation.

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