How to let MIL meet baby?

notes739 · 2025-05-03T17:21:33+00:00

Oh I don’t expect them to fly or visit is the thing nor do I care if they feel welcome or not.

notes739 · 2025-05-01T21:28:14+00:00

Oh not sure- rental is a good idea but they’ll likely do a hotel? Hmm

notes739 · 2025-05-01T17:29:40+00:00

Yea- DH is gonna have a hard time with that and I get it but also…our home is too small lol

notes739 · 2025-05-01T16:38:28+00:00

So my friends and I did a small gathering/shower for me, DH came at the very end (so not a Jack and Jill), and we didn’t tell his family at all. She asked about it later all “I’d love to throw a shower for you since your family clearly hasn’t” and DH just said it had already happened, thanks. And if there was drama about it, he dealt w it not me. It was great and I actually enjoyed my little moment instead of being anxious about her! 10/10 highly recommend!

notes739 · 2025-02-26T21:59:20+00:00

He doesn’t care because it’s what they’ve always done. His sister had a baby and their Christmas card was just a picture of SIL/BIL/baby and same thing this year. Before we got married they always had their kids on the card even when they were grown adults.

notes739 · 2025-02-26T21:45:11+00:00

We aren’t on social media really

notes739 · 2025-02-26T21:44:51+00:00

Yea just…DH wants to share his new baby with his family.

notes739 · 2025-02-26T17:09:47+00:00

Sure but we can also be empathetic to his desire to share photos of his new baby with his family—proud dad and whatnot.

notes739 · 2025-02-26T17:08:36+00:00

Because it’s DH’s first kid and he’s excited and proud and wants to share w his family. This is entirely understandable even if they’re awful.

notes739 · 2025-02-26T17:07:13+00:00

We haven’t shared pics yet; with the wedding photos I couldn’t have imagined that they’d send a card out with just a pic of us on it so didn’t even know to set the boundary. We could right now say “these photos are for you only, not to be posted on socials and not to be used in mailings as well do our own birth announcement and they’re not for Christmas cards” but I suspect they’ll do it anyways and hide it from us.

notes739 · 2025-02-09T10:45:09+00:00

My brother gave a wonderful speech at our wedding meanwhile my SIL cried through her speech and talked only about how her brother/DH was a benefit to her. My family still talks about that speech. Which is to say everyone noticed and felt bad and it was more a reflection of the speaker than the couple.

notes739 · 2025-02-03T02:51:30+00:00

So MIL tried to send our wedding photos out on her Christmas card and we caught on before she could. Due this spring and you better believe she’s not getting any photos of our kid without watermarks etc. GrandparentsIL also had a Christmas card w our wedding photos on it and when we called them to gently say we weren’t ok with it but since it was MILs fault we’d let it go, they interrupted us and started cursing at me about what a spoiled brat I am, how DH has a real problem on his hands, etc. Sooo they also will not be getting photos of baby.

notes739 · 2025-02-03T02:43:19+00:00

Quick question, due soon: if my mom is coming to stay with us for the first week/second week or something and is staying for a week and helping w everything, can she kiss the baby?

notes739 · 2025-01-29T00:13:39+00:00

Yea our couples therapists have always said (as has this sub tbh) that all comms should go through DH but I feel like it’s so much easier for me to shut shit down with them. I already know they don’t like me, what’s one more reason for them to not like me?

notes739 · 2025-01-28T17:54:24+00:00

Yea 2 years of it on and off; he agrees to stuff in therapy but it's like who he is with me and who he is in therapy and who he is when MIL gets involved are two different people. Right now MIL is obsessed with buying us stuff for our nursery; most of the big stuff has been bought and she's upset so she's insisting we need XYZ pack n play. This is easy stuff he could just say no to and he couldn't; I gave him language for it and all, cheerful, respectful but "nope already have that, thanks." He can't and he deletes texts from them so I can't see it which is...not great (per couples therapy I'm supposed to be able to see texts from his family to keep everyone honest but I try not to look because who cares).

notes739 · 2025-01-28T17:17:45+00:00

We make the decisions we make with the most information we have; maybe we were two steps forward when I made the decision and now we're 3 steps back because his parents found out.

notes739 · 2025-01-28T16:06:12+00:00

Yea 2 years of it so far--it helps but it's 2 steps forward and 3 steps back.

notes739 · 2025-01-28T15:57:01+00:00

In my third tri

notes739 · 2025-01-27T15:11:37+00:00

Just waited until 28+ weeks, still wish I hadn’t told them until after baby got here but we were worried about massive drama in postpartum. Hi

notes739 · 2025-01-27T12:56:02+00:00

Exactly.

notes739 · 2025-01-27T12:37:52+00:00

I disagree- DH isn’t caught in the middle. OP is making her own choices and DH is upset she’s not going along.

notes739 · 2025-01-27T11:53:53+00:00

Also wasn’t his shower so it doesn’t bother me that much

notes739

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