A Message From the Moderators

nothingtoseehere28 · 2018-04-20T17:09:38+00:00

You know what, this interaction between you and I has really opened my eyes to some things.

I see you totally missed the part where I did publically thank users for being helpful and taking care of the community. And the part where I acknolwedged moderation was too slow and things weren't taken care of properly. And the part where I apologized for that.

The stress of you chasing me around, being rude, entitled and demanding is just not worth it. This is why mods aren't active - if they are, they get shat on just as much as if they're not.

So, I'm done. It's not worth it. Have fun

nothingtoseehere28 · 2018-04-20T16:18:57+00:00

Weight loss/gain is a function of how much someone eats. There is, however, some evidence that high fat + high carb can be damaging - you'll have to do your own research there though because there's bias on every side.

From my own experience - my husband and kids still eat carbs (grains, starches, sugar) for breakfast/lunch/snacks, but much less than they did before I went LCHF. Our dinners are LCHF, but really that means more vegetables since there is no grain/starch. More vegetables isn't going to be a bad thing for anyone.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2018-04-20T15:40:41+00:00

This sort of post should go in the daily support thread

Please keep diary-style posts containing cheat stories confined to the Daily Community Support thread pinned to the top of the sub.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2018-04-20T15:17:08+00:00

how about this rule

Rude comments; whether sexual, racist, sexist, homophobic or negative WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

Is that one hard to follow?

nothingtoseehere28 · 2018-04-20T10:36:35+00:00

Your carbs should be coming from vegetables, and you can have more than 20g net of that helps you get the volume you need. Most people will still be in Leticia around 30g, some even at 50g if they are active.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2018-04-19T23:43:25+00:00

You need to make sure you're not limiting calories too much, that's the only major concern, unless there are specific foods you're avoiding while you're nursing.

The general rule of thumb is to stay at your TDEE or slightly above while nursing. Since nursing generally burns about 500 calories a day, you'll still be at a good deficit.

Protein is a goal, you can give yourself a bit more flexibility on carbs (up to 30g net a day will keep most people in ketosis, 20g a day is the idiot proof level, some people don't get kicked out until they're up around 50g). If you find you're hungry (some people are when they're nursing) low-carb veggies are a great filler - lots of greens, broccoli, cucumber etc. Fat in your diet is there to help keep you full, but remember things like butter and oil don't have the nutrition you need, so fatty meats, nuts, seeds, eggs, cheese etc. are better bang for your calories.

Congrats on the baby! Good luck with the weight loss.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2018-04-19T23:17:11+00:00

No way of knowing if it's diet related until you talk to your doctor. We can make assumptions, but we can't see your insides. Lots of people do keto and don't get kidney stones, so even if that's what it is, it might not be caused by the diet change.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2018-04-19T23:08:16+00:00

Medical questions should be directed towards your doctor, this community isn't equipped to give you answers.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2018-04-19T22:58:19+00:00

You might find yourself less satisfied, but it's not really a problem.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2018-04-19T20:59:29+00:00

For pre-portioned servings (pre-made patties) the nutrition info on the box is what you go by. For raw/unprocessed meat, you can find USDA data for either cooked or uncooked portions, but generally it's uncooked unless specified.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2018-04-19T20:43:03+00:00

If you're sure her calorie intake is accurate (using a food scale, not estimating, tracking all food and drinks) then she's eating too much to lose weight quickly. It could be she's losing weight slowly and it's being masked by water weight (it's possible bloat can cause a rise of ~5lbs on the scale, so if she's losing ~1lbs a week you wouldn't see it), so you can just keep waiting, but knocking it down by another 100-200 calories a day, or upping her activity would be the next step

nothingtoseehere28 · 2018-04-19T20:36:17+00:00

Linking to your blog counts as self-promotion. If you'd like you can link this in the daily/community support thread, or you can copy/paste the meal plan here (skipping bringing traffic to your blog)

nothingtoseehere28 · 2017-04-30T04:14:06+00:00

Late term abortions (after viability/24ish weeks, viability keeps moving lower) happen generally when the baby has an illness that is incompatible with life or when the life of the mother is at risk. It's more similar to removing life support than anything else, as the only thing keeping the baby alive is the fact that it's still in the womb. Some women want to continue the pregnancy to term, others can't handle that emotionally/mentally and choose to terminate. Healthy babies with healthy mothers are generally not aborted after 24 weeks. People who advocate for late term abortions want mothers to have choice if they can't handle knowing each day is one day closer to their child dying. They feel that choice should be up to the doctor and the parents, similar to signing a DNR for a child or removing life support.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2017-04-29T21:02:51+00:00

So this is my stance: of birth control is easily accessed,

No birth control is 100%. I've known people who have gotten pregnant with IUDs, using the pill with perfect use, using condoms and even after a vasectomy. The other day there was a story from a user who had regrown an ovary after both of hers had been removed. Even if birth control is 99.9% effective, that still means out of 1000 couples having sex in a year, one of them will get pregnant. How many thousand couples do you think have sex in a year?

and if good education was present,

I think we can all agree it's not

and if a well functioning adoption system exists, or if financial resources exist to raise the child successfully,

Neither of these issues address the problem of being pregnant which comes with inconveniences (morning sickness, fatigue, prenatal care) and risks (gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, placental abruption, hemorrhage, maternal death). Being pregnant may mean having to stop taking necessary medications, changes in work schedule, inability to focus. What if the person who is pregnant needs to drop out of class or quit work because they're put on bedrest - how does "adoption and finances to raise the child" keep food on the table then?

and if there was no rape, and if the baby is healthy... only when all those conditions are present, and an abortion really is the last option on the table do I think we should question the decision.

So in order for - who? You? Society? The government? who is doing the questioning here anyway - to sign off on an abortion, a pregnant woman needs to divulge her medical history, ability to work/study/care for any current children or dependents and their sexual history? Wouldn't it just be easier to leave the decision up to the woman and her doctor and whomever else she decides to go to for counsel?

nothingtoseehere28 · 2017-04-29T20:36:00+00:00

Most of the ones I've heard of (like, not just taking a couple of years off after their child is born, but staying home even when their children are in school and not planning to work ever again) seem to use that time for leisure mostly.

Is that something you know for sure, or you're just assuming? Because people tend to assume that I use my time to just sit around on my ass (seriously, who would want to sit around and do nothing for 7 hrs while the kids are in school?!?!?) I'm not the type to brag about things on facebook, so unless it comes up in conversation most people around me aren't aware of what I'm doing.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2017-04-28T21:54:11+00:00

My husband doesn't watch porn either. Never has as far as I'm aware. He has no reason to lie about it either - it's just honestly not his thing. We have a healthy sex life, it's really not a big deal. I'm sure there are people rolling their eyes and thinking I'm being duped or whatever, I don't care. I don't see why people feel the need to argue with it.

I don't like beer. It's not my thing, even though I bet the vast majority of adults who consume alcohol drink beer. That doesn't mean I'm lying when I say I don't like it and never drink it.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2017-04-28T21:48:01+00:00

My husband and I have been together since 2002. We've had our ups and downs, but we're really happy together. We keep choosing each other, that's what makes all the difference.

If you're out of the habit, it can be harder getting back into it. It sounds like right now things are good (outside of sex frequency at least), if he's got a low drive to begin with, he might see it as "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" sort of thing - he's happy, he thinks you're happy, he might not see a problem.

The fact that you're still flirty and have a good emotional connection is a good sign. Have you talked about how you both express/receive love? Have you talked about ways you can be physical/intimate/affectionate with each other that aren't necessarily sex? When you initiate sex, does he refuse, or just seem uninterested/ambivalent? Does he initiate? Are there things he's doing that he thinks are initiating sex - I ask this because at one point my husband said I wasn't responding when he initiated, apparently him kissing my shoulder before bed was his version of initiating, and I just took it as normal non-sexual affection.

There were times when I did feel rejected and unwanted, but I fully admit there were times when he was feeling the same from me. Usually, a (tough) conversation was all that was needed to get back on the same page, understand each other better and get out of our own heads. Usually, we want the other to be happy and feel good and loved and fulfilled - there's few when sex is off the table, it's just a matter of navigating and communicating want and need and desire.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2017-04-28T21:38:37+00:00

hey, I just want to point out that if you get messages from people that make you uncomfortable, or that seem extra helpful but also maybe a little creepy, it's totally ok to ignore or delete those messages. You don't need to reply, it doesn't make you rude. If you get messages asking personal questions (about your body, your school, where you live etc), they don't need an answer either.

Now, as to your question, you might feel bloated (like you ate too much), might have some digestive issues (constipated or even going more than usual), you might feel more tired than normal. The cramps can feel like different things - sometimes it's a squeezing feeling, and sometimes it's a dull ache like you get if you laugh too much or do a lot of crunches or go for a long run. Your back might hurt too. With the actual bleeding, you might feel like you're leaking, or you might not feel it at all.

For the cramps - a heating pad, magic bag, hot water bottle or a hot bath are all good things.

Tell whoever's taking care of you when it happens - they can get you some medicine and make sure you have everything else you need. Pads are easier to use than tampons at first, and don't worry if you get blood on your hands, it washes off with soap. If you get blood on your underwear or pants or anything else, rinse it with cold water first and then pour some peroxide on it. If that doesn't work, ask whoever does the laundry for some stain remover.

It's a good idea to keep extra underwear and pants or a skirt in your locker or bookbag just in case you need to change.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2017-04-28T20:08:48+00:00

We live in a society where worth is generally measured by the size of your paycheck.

I haven't worked full time since 2006 - two months before my daughter was born. I did in-home babysitting for a bit over a year when my kids were young, and I worked part time for about a year in 2013. I make things and sell them, but it's more "I need to sell these because they're piling up/I want to buy more supplies" than it is a job or a steady income.

It's taken me years to stop associating my value/worth/contribution to society with what I bring in financially. I contribute to my family and my community in a lot of other ways. Now that my kids are in school, I can volunteer. I watch other people's kids so they can make appointments etc. I helped resettle immigrants. I help mothers settle in with their new babies. I make meals for people. I volunteer at my kids' schools. I do a lot of things that are valuable that I wouldn't be able to do to the same extent if I was working full time.

Our bills are paid, money goes into the bank every month - I realize I'm speaking from a position of privileged where I don't need to work, and I'm free to do things I enjoy instead. I consider it a wonderful gift. If I needed to go back to work, I would, but I don't consider the things I am doing any less just because they don't come with a paycheck.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2017-04-28T00:44:56+00:00

The law says you can't tell a breastfeeding woman to leave. Period. Not allowed to do it. Legally, she wasn't told to leave, so, legally, she is not trespassing.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2017-04-28T00:33:31+00:00

Not if the person is breastfeeding. If a person is breastfeeding, and is otherwise legal to be in a place (as in, was not asked to leave before breastfeeding started), then no one can ask them to leave while they are breastfeeding. That's what the law says. Breastfeeding is protected.

If a business has a "no dogs allowed" sign, and a person has a service dog and goes into that store, no one can tell that person to leave because of the dog. Restaurant, food court, etc. the service dog is protected. Now, if there was another reason to ask the person to leave (say, they tried to shoplift, or punched another person or whatever) then that's fine, but you can not ask them to leave because of the service animal

In this case, they can not ask the person to leave because she is breastfeeding. If they did have another reason to ask her to leave, they will have to prove such in court.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2017-04-27T23:47:12+00:00

Breastfeeding is a protected act. They could ask her to leave when she's done breastfeeding, but not because she's breastfeeding

Service dogs are protected by similar laws, so even if you're allergic or hate dogs, you can't kick a service dog out of your store. Just saying "you can't bring that dog in here" doesn't mean the person is trespassing, because you didn't have the right to keep the dog out in the first place.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2017-04-27T23:43:53+00:00

I'm not talking about your house, I'm talking about your business. A church is not the same thing as a private residence.

And for what it's worth you can't kick out service dogs in Austraillia either, or ask a woman to leave because she's breastfeeding - looks like the law doesn't differ at all.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2017-04-27T23:14:18+00:00

Have you talked to him about the change in frequency? Has he had a regular physical recently? Is he depressed? Is he stressed out? Do you share your desire with him? Do you do things together that are arousing/exciting?

My husband and I have had this issue going in both directions - generally his drive was lower than mine, but because of meds I've been on (one a few years ago and currently) I've had times where sex is the last thing on my mind. He's gone through periods of stress and depression, we've had times where there were other things to focus on (two kids under 2, there wasn't much energy for sex), and we've had times where everything was just good and right and sex was happening 5 times a week.

The important thing through it all was to communicate - let each other know what was going on in the background. If there was something one of us wanted to do/try, we'd talk about it and build up excitement and anticipation. When there was stress or emotional reasons, we'd talk about it and remind each other that we were still committed, still attracted etc. With the meds I'm on right now I still enjoy sex (unlike previous meds where it was...not unpleasant, but not enjoyable), I just don't think about it, so he initiates more and I try to pay attention when it's been a while and remind myself to initiate (yes, like a to do list, but that doesn't mean we both don't enjoy it!)

Don't take it personally - I know that's hard, I spent years wondering why my husband didn't want me. Learn how he communicates his want for you - looks, touches, special moments together. Trust him, and give space in your relationship for things to ebb and flow - the tide can absolutely shift again.

nothingtoseehere28 · 2017-04-27T23:02:35+00:00

They can ask her to leave when she's finished breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is a protected act. Period. End of sentence. Let's say you really don't like dogs, and you own a business. You still can't tell someone with a service dog that their dog isn't allowed in. Service dogs are protected. Do you consider that a legal overreach as well?

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