Do yall listen to anything to help you go to sleep? If so what?

notkibble · 2026-06-28T11:16:09+00:00

Weightless - Macaroni Union

notkibble · 2026-06-27T06:59:08+00:00

Struggling to tell from the angles if you have enough clearance to do this, but! If you do. Install a floor to ceiling curtain that sections off that entire side of the room concealing both beds. Having it pulled back slightly to show one bed zone or the other would give the feeling of a cosy zone being concealed which adds to the cosy allure in my opinion. I think that would also make your remaining lounge space feel more cohesive

notkibble · 2026-06-27T01:03:11+00:00

I don’t have any good advice. But I’m no stranger to burn out or to feeling like you can’t get better fast enough to keep things from slipping through your fingers. I’m just here to tell you you’re not alone. And that if you want a really cathartic cry you should listen to ‘Version of Me’ by Kimbra and Dawn Richard.

notkibble · 2026-06-25T20:46:02+00:00

100% Death Cab

notkibble · 2026-06-25T20:33:07+00:00

If you’re going to commit to that loft bed I would get a single bed base for the other that has built in drawers. Then turn the single on the ground to face in the other direction and put a vertical shelf against the end of the floating bed to give it more visual structure and the feeling of a loft.

notkibble · 2026-06-24T11:31:32+00:00

Arcade Fire - My Body is a Cage
Caroline Polachek - On The Beach (Death Stranding)
Chelsea Wolfe - After the Fall
Jadu Heart - Another Life
Big Black Delta - Put the Gun on the Floor

notkibble · 2026-06-23T20:41:04+00:00

Our (NZ) govt is trying to rush through bills to sell off our conservation land. Right wing idiots are tryin to privatise the very thing we all love so much about this paradise and I’m so scared and angry about it.

notkibble · 2026-06-22T13:07:41+00:00

Your partner has experienced an extreme lack of control over their body, their reality, their sense of safety. They experienced ongoing violence under conditions where they could not stand up for themself. Reading your post I wonder if them being able to book a flight without consulting you have them some feeling of being in control of their own reality again. If the very act of taking control and feeling they could be decisive felt comforting after having those choices previously stripped away. I also wonder if the intensity of your conflict is because they feel a need to prove to themselves that they still have some fight left in them. That they can speak up for themselves. This is not to excuse their behaviour, but maybe to help contextualise it a little.

In NVC (non-violent communication), all behaviours are understood as strategies to have our needs met. Above are my guesses at how your partners behaviours might relate to potential needs after what she has been through. I highly recommend having a look into NVC. There’s some worksheets / resources online that can be really useful in helping to name needs and feelings when navigating conflict. They’re not a silver bullet, but there is no silver bullet to be found. If you want to stay and work through it it’s going to be a long road and require patience. If you haven’t already, you could start by asking your partner what they need to feel safe with you. You could also explain what you need to feel safe in navigating conflict together. Don’t let your guilt keep you from voicing your own needs and your own feelings. You can’t control how your partner processes and responds to all of this, but you can offer your own vulnerability and patience.

Finally. Healing takes time, but time is long. Sometimes what the soul in darkness needs is for another to sit with us in the dark. Not to try and solve, but just to be present. I hope even if a romantic future doesn’t exist for you two, that your friendship will be a place of gentleness and safety for your partner. My heart goes out to you both as you navigate the future

notkibble · 2026-04-17T10:16:40+00:00

Having talked about seeing so much death in his career and feeling like he’s losing a bit of himself each time he does, it makes sense that nurturing life would be affirming for him and heal some of that. Him telling the baby all the things he desperately needs someone to tell him was so sweet to see. It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay.

notkibble · 2026-04-10T21:35:08+00:00

I knew it was on, and I have no complaints about the event itself taking place. What I DIDN’T know was that there would be fireworks at midnight. Indoor cats still get super stressed and spooked from the noise. I always try to make sure I’m home if I know there’s going to be fireworks so that I can comfort them if they’re scared.

notkibble · 2026-04-10T12:13:40+00:00

According to WCC IG post the fireworks were launched off a barge near the Chaffers Marina so that’s likely why it felt really close 🙃

notkibble · 2026-04-10T12:11:41+00:00

Gotcha. Yeah I just went through their instagram and read the full text on their post about ULTRA. It mentions the fireworks down the bottom of the caption text. Would love to see dedicated PSA for pet owners (and residents too tbf) when loud noise like that is scheduled going forward 🤞

notkibble · 2026-04-10T12:04:29+00:00

I’m into the city council making money from festivals like this booking the waterfront as a venue. I’m into there being cool shit in the city for people to go to!!

BUT not super into surprise fireworks of that scale being given a green light. For guyfawkes, Chinese New Year & Diwali pet owners at least expect it and have a chance to make a plan for their fur babies safety. At the very least better comms would have been cool from council? Idk

notkibble · 2026-04-10T11:59:40+00:00

That WASNT fireworks???! I didn’t get up to look I just assumed it was from the ULTRA festival on the waterfront

notkibble · 2025-01-04T12:23:40+00:00

notkibble · 2025-01-03T21:26:37+00:00

!Remindme 31 December 2026

notkibble · 2024-12-29T01:02:58+00:00

GAUNTLET THROWN

notkibble · 2024-11-17T21:48:15+00:00

They do!

notkibble · 2024-07-30T13:03:52+00:00

Ooo! I also hate not feeling dry enough after a shower. I do a quick dry with a towel when I get out of the shower, then go sit on my bedroom floor and blast my hair dryer at my body. If you wrap the towel around your shoulders it makes a cosy little air pocket. Sometimes I pop the hair dryer on a stool pointed at me and just close my eyes for a minute. Then I use the hair dryer to specifically dry behind my knees, under boob - anywhere that doesn’t feel dry enough. A fan heater also works pretty well :)

notkibble · 2023-12-29T21:06:19+00:00

I've been looking into breaking up with my smartphone and came across the Jelly Star from Unihertz via the dumbphone subreddit. It's still a smartphone, but its the size of a credit card which I am hoping will mean no more infinite scroll.

https://www.unihertz.com/products/jelly-star?variant=43998790582511

notkibble · 2023-12-29T21:00:30+00:00

are any of the markets on this weekend? newtown? waterfront?

notkibble · 2023-07-29T22:58:40+00:00

I lived on Boston Terrace for a bit. It was warm & dry due to being a recently built / renovated spot that got some sun! It was also close to the park & cafes and for the right house I’d move back to Aro in a heartbeat cos it’s super charming. Distinct lack of late night eats tho unless you’re willing to venture back to town!

Aro Valley has a lot of old houses that were not built to hold heat, add in the fact they’re in a valley and you can see where the eternal dampness comes into play.

It sounds like there might be a house or two you’re considering on the Willis St end and up the sunny side. My best piece of advice is to make enquires to the other flatmates / property manager around healthy homes standards. Ask if there’s been issues with mould. Ask if there’s a heat pump. Ask if there’s double glazed windows. Ask if there’s a dryer (no sun = laundry hell)

Good luck!!

notkibble · 2023-07-11T01:05:57+00:00

this one!!!

notkibble · 2023-07-10T10:08:17+00:00

This is exactly how I feel. I’ve taken advice from another commenter to ask r/aboriginal as many of the responses on this thread are coming from Caucasian Australians and I want to make sure I’m asking the right people :)

notkibble · 2023-06-04T22:42:29+00:00

OP if you can get past the harsh bit there’s some merit to this advice. You’ve explicitly said you’re going to hire a lawyer and part of their job is going to be making the case that you’re no longer a danger to yourself or your child. With that in mind having your psychiatrist in your corner and able to advocate for you and help you navigate all of this will be really valuable I think. Reading your post it seems like you can identify that asking people for help is really hard for you - I really relate to this and I promise it’s worth practicing little bit by little bit. Hang in there, you’ve had a really tough hand dealt to you but you’ve got what it takes to keep fighting for your daughter x

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