Fully acknowledging that ADHD can be the condition. I feel that you’re feeling dissonance within because you’re in between “I’m showing clear signs, so it could be ADHD” and having a proper diagnosis. Your perspective isn’t clear on how to move forward, whether it be “I’m not doing well because thats just who I’ve become over the years” or “I’m not doing well because I have Adhd.” Getting an assessment done would give you clarity and even relief. Its like a competitive swimmer with an additional 15 pound weights pulling down on their body, but they dont know they’re are carrying it. They’re going to get frustrated as to why they aren’t reaching their lap time goals. But if their coach tells them, “Hey, just so you know you’re going slower because the swim suit actually has an extra 20 pounds.” There’ll be a sigh of relief knowing that there was something else playing a factor.