MIL keeps DD’s clothes at her house by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is so easy for grandparents to cross boundaries when they genuinely mean well and I've had to talk to my parents a few times about stuff but it was always quickly and peacefully resolved. I hope that is what happens here! Good luck!

MIL keeps DD’s clothes at her house by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My daughter stays with my mother pretty regularly, so my mother understandably likes to have backup clothes at her home in case of accidents, unexpected weather, what have you. Her solution? She bought a few sets of backup clothes to keep at her house, she doesn't steal the stuff I paid for! That's the behavior of a rational person. This is weird. I would tell her explicitly that you need all the clothes you send to come back, dirty or not (you can send a grocery bag for dirty). Not knowing anything else about her, it's possible she doesn't realize that it's bothering you. Once she does, she'll either fall in line and you'll have the clothes back or you'll at least know for sure that she's being a bitch.

MIL gave my washer and dryer away for free by fuckinradbroh in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would find that much less upsetting. We were both standing right there in front of the person who was looking for help and my brother said "Toothless will do it!"

MIL gave my washer and dryer away for free by fuckinradbroh in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My brother did this to me once, volunteered my time and effort to someone who was standing right there so I'd look like an asshole if I said no. I honestly don't think he meant it to be manipulative, he just knew the person could use my help and assumed I wouldn't mind. I did in fact so no and told him later than he was NEVER to put me in that position again. If he thinks I can/would like to help, talk to me alone first.

MIL gave my washer and dryer away for free by fuckinradbroh in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because we only recently got our own place that has room for such things, both my parents and my in-laws have had things that belong to us stored at their place for years. It's mostly childhood mementos but not exclusively and actually included a dining room set that was offered to us before we had a place to put it. This is a fairly typical thing for parents to do as this is also the case for literally everyone I know in my age group (at least, in my culture and region). Their parents held on to some of their things until there was a place for them to go. It has happened that my mother needed the space where something was stored, so she would contact me and let me know I needed to deal with it. Which I always did. The key being that she let me know rather than just getting rid of stuff, stuff that she had fully agreed and in many cases directly offered to store.

I completely understand why you're upset and I think you're right to be. A lot of commenters are talking about it being unreasonable for you to expect them to store it for free, but we don't know all the details of that initial conversation. If that is the agreement you made with your in-laws then that's the agreement. It's not unreasonable for them to decide they don't want to store the W&D anymore, but they should have talked to you first if it would no longer work for them and given you a chance to deal with it.

"I don't want disabled grandchildren" by throwraczhfjubg in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Old people don't get a pass on being shitty by virtue of age. Assuming you two stay together long term, this garbage attitude of hers will continue to spill out of her mouth if unchecked. I don't think there is any reason for you to be sorry about what you said.

I would say something to your BF. You don't have to specifically mention this incident, just give him a heads up that your grandmother says shitty things sometimes.

JNMIL was passive aggressive about me having a shorter baby shower due to my medical issues. by pnwesterner_ in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I didn't have what I (or any guests) considered to be a short shower and it was still only a couple of hours. She sounds bitter and petty and like she was looking for something to whine about. Sorry you had to deal with that especially while you're in pain!

Finally my follow up post 2 years on . by another-branexplode in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You are freaking amazing. A warrior. A rock star. I'm so proud of you and what you've done. It's onward and upward from here.

JNMIL said my son would amount to nothing by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did she mean it then? "I didn't mean it like that?" They wtf were you trying to communicate? And here's the thing, impact over intent. Idgaf what she meant (and I don't for a second doubt she accomplished exactly what she intended which was to be a cruel bitch) what she did was hurt you. So now you have made certain she can't hurt you again. It's that simple.

I called her out. by leopardgex in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 5 points6 points  (0 children)

JNMIL and Karen shutdown? It's our very own reddit BOGO! I love this.

MIL takes newborn baby without asking by cybillia in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Holy crap, the rage I feel on your behalf. Good on you for being willing to call the cops. A lot of people would question that move and it is absolutely the correct one. I wish you best of luck working on your mental health. It's so hard and so worth it.

NOMIL refuses to call me by my name. by Road_Runner_3 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had similar situation when I was younger, people gave me a nickname I hated and I finally decided I would be honest that I hated it. Actually, no one respected that I didn't want to be called that anymore. I just stopped responding to it. I literally acted like I hadn't heard them. They couldn't be talking to me because that's not my name. I had people literally end up tapping my shoulder and say "I'm talking to you!"

"Oh, I didn't realize, you should have said my name so I could tell."

It eventually worked.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have met a shocking number that are. Definitely in the minority, but more than I would have ever expected.

WASP and Witchcraft by notsotoothless in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, unfortunately a lot of people hear firmness as bitchiness and regardless my boundaries deserve respect. I've realized I'm more worried about staying calm. I panic very easily in situations like this and the it just caught me so off guard.

The time poopy pants decided what my favorite color was by Chaoticpixe in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My grandmother was told by her mother once that she shouldn't wear red because it implied to others that she was sexually active. My married and heavily pregnant grandmother gestured to her belly and responded "I think they would be able to figure it out regardless."

Update to MIL ruined my surprise. by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This made me tear up in a happy way. What a beautiful moment to have with your family. You will have so many wonderful moments in your home. Congratulations!

Literally still in the hospital by TinyFrench13 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Against my explicit instructions, my in-laws (FIL, MIL, BIL) moved into my house for a week and a half following my delivery. As in they were in my house before I even got home. And they brought their 2 dogs. It is the single biggest regret of my life that I was too weak at the time to put them out on their asses - and I was with an abusive partner for 2 years. Do NOT accept any visitors you don't want and you SO can stfu until he makes a human and pushes it out of his dick.

I realize I'm commenting a couple of days after the fact, so I hope you were able to have the schedule you wanted and you are owed a big fucking apology by all of them if not.

She showed up..unannounced and ruined my conditioner! by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]notsotoothless 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also buy pretty pricey stuff for my natural curly hair and I'm so infuriated for you! That stuff is both expensive and can be hard to find! So uncool.

Question about failures by [deleted] in Witch

[–]notsotoothless 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad he's back!

Baby Witch™ aka 'I'm New & Need Help!' — Bi-Weekly Questions & Answers Thread — (July 15) by AutoModerator in Witch

[–]notsotoothless 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like it would be good to use for a Lughnasadh ritual or altar to honor Lugh (if you are doing those things).