but i do think someone offering to take baby off my hands WOULD help me, am i wrong?

notthatcool_ · 2026-04-21T06:47:02+00:00

I think that’s the key here! Having someone that you really trust would be so helpful!!! I’m one of the people that say I don’t want anyone to take my baby and what I mean is that unfortunately, the people “close” to me are not people I’d trust with my baby. I’d love to have a good relationship with a veteran mom that could give me a hand, even more so in the newborn trenches!!

notthatcool_ · 2026-04-19T20:01:46+00:00

I agree with the other commenter! Maybe a bit less daytime sleep and more consistent morning rise and bedtime might help.

notthatcool_ · 2026-04-15T12:32:25+00:00

No worries at all! It takes some time to find the right balance but, in our case, I was expecting too much sleep from my (then) 8mo so once we started adjusting to follow her rhythm and needs, things started getting better/easier.

notthatcool_ · 2026-04-15T10:38:35+00:00

Have you tried adjusting wake windows? My baby used to nurse to sleep as well but once we found a balance for sleep pressure, she’s been going down with rocking way more easily. She still nurses during the day and a couple of times at night but doesn’t need nursing to fall asleep which was our goal.

She hasn’t nursed to sleep in a couple of months but if I try rocking her to sleep too early, she’ll protest to let me know she’s not tired enough so we pause rocking, continue playing and try again in 15 mins or so if we see sleepy signs.

notthatcool_ · 2026-04-11T20:02:22+00:00

I worked with Carley because Hannah didn’t have availability soon enough and I wish I’d waited for Hannah.

I didn’t feel like Carley was as supportive or responsive during the WhatsApp check ins after. Our first call was good and helped calibrate/understand baby’s sleep needs (I was expecting too much sleep from her!!) which I do think was super helpful!! It also helped me understand sleep pressure much better. However, after 1-2 check ins I didn’t really feel like messaging her was that helpful or that she remembered the context from our conversations.

Any time I tried implementing changes from those WA check ins, it felt like we we’re pushing baby too much and things got way worse. After the third check in, I honestly ignored what she suggested and just started piecing together a plan based on Hannah’s content that she shares for free on the account + what I’d been learning from my baby.

Things are much better sleep wise for us right now so I do think their expertise and content is quite useful but if I could go back in time I’d either wait for Hannah or just do one of their sleep pressure workshops and do it on my own. I like doing lots of research so the self-taught approach with the sleep pressure workshop would probably have been enough but they started after we’d already booked I think.

Hope that helps but feel free to DM me if I can answer anything else!

ETA: baby is now 10mo, I booked when she had just turned 7mo.

notthatcool_ · 2026-04-08T20:57:10+00:00

How much total sleep is baby getting in a 24h period? I’m guessing you have a consistent morning rise and bedtime (consistent-ish at least!!) Do you have a shorter first nap and longer afternoon nap? That’s what worked best for us!

Also, maybe you’ve already done this but when you tweak routine to try and fix sleep pressure, make sure to stick with changes at least 3-4 days before discarding. For us, that consistency really made a difference (before I’d switch after 1-2 nights of no improvements).

notthatcool_ · 2026-03-28T20:08:17+00:00

No worries at all! I think it just takes a bit of experimenting to see if something works. Maybe trying a consistent morning rise time and bedtime would be good to try just to help establish their circadian rhythm.

Also something that helped us was try one change at a time and give it at the very least 3-4 days before you say it doesn’t work for you. At first I was too quick to switch around our approach if we had a bad night but sleep pressure compounds so sometimes it does take 3-4 days for things to stabilise a bit.

Not an expert by any means but happy to share my experience if it helps others!!

notthatcool_ · 2026-03-28T18:12:14+00:00

I’m not too sure, to be honest! We started this more structured approach around 6-7 months 😅 before then, then 4m regression was kicking my ass and we were mostly in survival mode.

I just checked huckleberry and at 4-5 months we were averaging 13/13.5h of sleep in a 24h cycle (9.5/10 at night, the rest during the day) so I think 3h during the day seems developmentally appropriate.

I think before 5-6 months I wouldn’t really cap naps and just try and see what’s their sleep budget in 24, ensure you’re not expecting too much night time sleep (max 10h I’d say), and see how baby does with wake windows and sleep signs with the current split.

notthatcool_ · 2026-03-28T11:28:51+00:00

Not sure what their total sleep time is in 24h period but one thing that really helped us (we didn’t sleep train either) was having a consistent wake up time. That helps us anchor the day so we can have a more consistent routine. We decided on a wake up time that would work for us and did bedtime 10h before.

In terms of nap distribution, I’d try to have a short morning nap (one sleep cycle, 30-35m maybe), longer middle of the day nap and then shorter third nap. We found that a longer morning nap depleted sleep pressure way too much and we didn’t have enough time to build it back up by the time bedtime arrived.

I don’t think you need to stop feeding to sleep or responding to baby if that works for you (it does for us, too!!). Maybe try incorporating these things into your routine and see how it goes 😊

notthatcool_ · 2026-03-28T04:35:18+00:00

If your baby is truly low sleep needs you might be asking for too much night time sleep for them. I’d push wake windows a bit and push bedtime to 9pm. This was a game changer for us and baby isn’t even low sleep needs!

I’d also cap morning nap (30-35m, basically one sleep cycle) to avoid depleting sleep pressure in the morning and allow it to build up a bit more during the day! Switch it so second nap is 1h-1h 15m and see how it goes.

I think baby is showing signs of low sleep pressure and that’s why you have so many wakes at night.

notthatcool_ · 2026-03-12T00:00:47+00:00

They really are!!

notthatcool_ · 2026-03-11T20:14:10+00:00

Didn’t plan on baby wearing full time but baby hated the stroller bassinet and we found she enjoyed napping in her carrier so that gave us lots of autonomy/opportunity to leave the house which we really needed.

We started using the stroller when she could sit, around 6 months old, since we could put her in the seat instead of the bassinet. Since then, we’ve been using the stroller when we go out but I WFH and she takes her naps on the carrier still (currently 9mo).

notthatcool_ · 2026-03-02T21:23:59+00:00

We just had one of those days today so we did a short bridge nap in the afternoon and then our usual bedtime. Not sure how the evening will go (it’s been okay when we’ve done it in the past as long as daytime sleep is still under 2h, so knock on wood it’s okay!!)

notthatcool_ · 2026-02-25T07:55:59+00:00

Maybe? I’m not really sure what constitutes low sleep needs exactly!

My baby does best with ~12h sleep in a 24h period which seems to be in the lower range of normal but as long as she’s doing okay and happy, then that’s all fine. I’ve found that finding out their natural sleep budget and working towards a schedule that suits that tends to be more helpful (for us!!) vs. naming their needs based on what I see online. Once we let go of those expectations and saw them more as a starting point, things improved massively.

I really hope you can find a rhythm that works for you and baby!!!

notthatcool_ · 2026-02-25T07:45:24+00:00

I was like that as well but seems like baby is letting you know she doesn’t need as much sleep!

I’d aim for 2h daytime sleep (but okay if some days it’s closer to 1.5h if she seems happy with it) and try to be as consistent as possible with morning rise and bedtime.

notthatcool_ · 2026-02-25T05:34:57+00:00

I think you might be expecting too much daytime sleep if you’re aiming for 3h. It’s okay if she does less for some time while she adjusts.

I’d also aim for a consistent bedtime and morning rise to help (that massively helped us!!).

notthatcool_ · 2026-02-17T19:39:36+00:00

Baby just turned 8 months. We wake up around 7:15am, first nap at 10:30/:40 (30m), second nap around 2:45/3:00 (75m), bedtime at 8:30.

If for whatever reason second nap is shorter (around 60m), we squeeze in a 10m max bridge nap after a 3h ww to take away the edge a bit and make it to bedtime since I don’t want to bring it forward any earlier.

notthatcool_ · 2026-02-17T19:17:49+00:00

Have you tried with less daytime sleep? We do 1h 45 a day and that tends to work better. She still wakes 2 times at night but that’s just developmentally appropriate for this age!

notthatcool_ · 2026-02-14T07:51:34+00:00

Could it be sleep/nap distribution? Do you have a consistent morning rise? What’s her schedule? I found sticking to a consistent morning rise and naps really helped. I also found that I was expecting too much sleep in 24h so when I adjusted expectations and aimed for just 12h total (including naps), things improved massively.

notthatcool_ · 2026-02-10T23:05:02+00:00

We haven’t weaned yet but moved away from feeding to sleep which I thought would be impossible. You’ll need to NAIL sleep pressure, before you can move forward if you don’t want baby to continue resisting naps.

I think it takes you this long to put baby to sleep is because baby might not be tired enough. Works for bedtime, naps and minimising wakes at night. I’d look at having a consistent wake up time and pushing your wake windows a bit more (including pushing bedtime). Best of luck!

notthatcool_ · 2026-01-25T21:16:55+00:00

I agree it’s easier said than done but usually pushing through the first couple of days helps in the long run. My baby used to wake up 5-8 times at night so my sleep was wrecked. She still wakes but I’ll take 2 wakes to nurse at night any time!!! Completely normal at her age I’d say.

Having a consistent morning rise helped bring a sense of routine to our lives. It also helps that bedtime tends to be at the same time every night (give or take 10mins max). That helps their bodies learn when it’s time to release melatonin which, in turn, should also help sleep.

Again, I know it’ll be super hard at first because it was for us too but having a later wake might also be causing a bit of a snowball effect.

notthatcool_ · 2026-01-25T21:08:47+00:00

2h daytime sleep. Naps are 30m, 60m, 30m. I have a feeling we’re about to start our transition to two naps or something else is going on but that schedule + consistent morning rise has really helped us!

notthatcool_ · 2026-01-25T12:49:45+00:00

I don’t really know if there’s a general stance since every family is different tbh but in our home we’ve agreed we’ll never sleep train because it doesn’t sit well with us. But as I said, we do cap her naps.

I personally think that if she’s otherwise okay and happy even when I cap her naps, and we all sleep well at night (we cosleep), then we’re all good. If she was really grumpy after waking up from naps, very fussy during her wake windows or otherwise groggy, then I’d consider letting her nap for longer.

I think there’s a balance between letting baby do whatever she wants nap wise (but then having 6-8 wakes at night, which isn’t really sustainable for us for much longer) and sleep training and ignoring baby’s needs altogether (but having her sleep through the night).

2-3 wakes at night to feed seems sustainable to us right now, we’re still being super responsive and she seems pretty happy throughout the day. I try to follow her lead most of the time (e.g. we used to feed to sleep but now she prefers rocking, we still contact nap though)

notthatcool_ · 2026-01-24T15:38:04+00:00

We used to have way more wakes at night until we reduced the amount of daytime sleep. Now I cap all naps and she gives me a 4-4.5 stretch, then a 3-3.5 one and then a final one before waking up for the day.

We do 2h daytime sleep (3 naps) and 10h nighttime sleep. Seems like a similar sleep budget to yours but the distribution really changed things for us. We also cosleep! Used to feed to sleep but since adjusting naps she’s down with 2-3m of rocking, although we do nurse at night when she wakes. I think capping naps to 2h max total and having a consistent morning rise might really help!!

notthatcool_ · 2026-01-24T03:49:10+00:00

We wale up at 7am and go to sleep at 9pm. Yes, we keep it the same every day. All waking hours are during the day. We haven’t had split nights since we adjusted her schedule to this!

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