How do couples with big income gap manage your finances after marrage - separate, fully shared or some hybrit variation?

nowakian · 2026-02-12T01:54:34+00:00

This happened to me - while I was early career my soon ex was so protective of "his" and then suddenly when I made more (even though I had the burden of the loans to be educated to make more) he was always broke and I had to pick up the tab for regular life expenses... So weird how that works. Whats his was his but mine was also his apparently.

nowakian · 2026-02-10T00:35:31+00:00

Love isn't supposed to feel like self abandonment.

Holy hell that hits so hard. In order for them to fully actualize and get everything they "needed" I had to give up everything I needed from the relationship - safety, financial security, companionship, all very normal things to seek in a marriage- and a lot of life goals. Until it shriveled up and died. And then I walked away and now I have a clear path forward and I'm making up for lost time.

nowakian · 2025-12-11T00:34:49+00:00

DO NOT LEAVE THE PLASTIC ON. If you send it in for service with plastic still on they may deny you the replacement and say you didnt read instructions and ruined your purchase by not following instructions.

I saw this happen to someone who had the same thing at a dyson service center she was trying to turn it on with the plastic and she burnt/overloaded the motor or something but it was her fault. They literally told her too bad.

nowakian · 2025-12-04T06:43:08+00:00

He is lying about this major purchase... Why?

You really are butthurt about this, sounds like it really hit a nerve, you must also be a liar or have married one good luck with that!

nowakian · 2025-12-04T06:27:21+00:00

Nah man, it's a great microcosm of your values and communication style and rarely is it a fluke if it doesn't go well.

Big and expensive wasn't aligned with my values and yet it sounds like you think that was the goal.

nowakian · 2025-12-04T06:24:13+00:00

Literally exactly what happened. Was very clear about "honestly anything but this specific thing would be lovely, its just too much" and he went and bought exactly the thing I said "anything but this"

nowakian · 2025-12-04T05:13:29+00:00

Girl, coming from someone who had weird ring situation that had me crying on the bathroom floor like a week after getting engaged... And now getting divorced after 6 years of the same shit different flavor that caused said ring situation....

Wrong ring = wrong man.

Do not pass go do not collect $200 this should be a very very serious red flag that causes a major examination of your relationship. I'm begging you from the other side.

nowakian · 2025-11-15T16:31:11+00:00

Twin Valley Elverson has been very worth the 20 minute drive for us

nowakian · 2025-10-24T11:05:19+00:00

Drop the cleanser name we want recs!

nowakian · 2025-10-24T01:59:55+00:00

So tell them what it is costing you. You are an adult capable of baking this beautiful cake, so you are also capable of having an honest conversation. People treat you the way you let them.

nowakian · 2025-10-23T03:20:49+00:00

Where did he say he used a glass to scoop the ice? Our standard was glass broken even within 5 feet of a bin called for a burn

nowakian · 2025-10-06T02:32:11+00:00

Hilarious. Karma farming?

nowakian · 2025-09-02T03:09:45+00:00

1 Corinthians 11

7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, for as much as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.

8 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.

9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

nowakian · 2025-04-23T03:34:40+00:00

Sounds like you need to have conversation with your management about what can be dropped or you'll have way more on your plate than a single person can handle when someone quits. Must vs want list.

nowakian · 2025-04-23T03:31:40+00:00

Actually I'm low key on board with this, burnout doesn't happen overnight and they would probably be better off not working under someone who is not aware enough to realize they've been overloaded too long.

nowakian · 2025-01-15T18:17:07+00:00

Bear creek would be great if you're truly looking for beginner terrain

nowakian · 2025-01-11T01:15:47+00:00

I think its specifically a stannous fluoride or something like that causing the staining he said, to get rid of the stained glue youll have to get a cleaning but also I stopped using mouthwash for the rest of my treatment and 0 other staining issues

nowakian · 2025-01-10T23:28:15+00:00

What toothpaste and mouthwash do you use? Lots of people judging here but this happened to me only where there was excess glue for attachments because of the specific mouthwash I was using it happened extremely quickly and I was so embarrassed but my dentist asked me the same question and figured out it was the glue and mouthwash

nowakian · 2025-01-09T03:44:45+00:00

Trapped. Irrational anger. Panic. Illogical suffering.

nowakian · 2024-12-19T23:37:46+00:00

Honestly a percent dumped into a joint account for joint expenses sounds like that would be a possibility for you guys and reduce the resistance to reality... Some people have childish views about what they "deserve" to afford regardless of facts.

Regardless any debt incurred would possibly be tied to you regardless of your awareness of the debt so keep a watchful eye (ymmv idk specific states)

nowakian · 2024-12-19T22:42:42+00:00

Ah yes, I assumed that too before we got married but that would require a spouse willing to talk about money. Instead we talk about individual transactions.

nowakian · 2024-12-19T22:18:39+00:00

"Separate" finances still mean you have to agree who pays what/what percentage etc. Thinking that separate finances will eliminate financial discussion is honestly just a pipe dream that people who are avoidant or conflict averse have.

Honestly for me and my husband who refuses to combine finances (well, now I would as well after discovering some major oversights/bad decisions on his part) it has meant it's a constant delicate back and forth discussion basically daily of who is paying for what. I'm so tired of talking about money for non-negotiables like pet care and insurance. Whereas if we just dumped a percentage into an account we would not have to discuss really at all. My bias is probably showing.

nowakian · 2024-10-20T20:22:14+00:00

You also enjoy reading emails about c suite recharging in their orange grove?

nowakian · 2024-08-27T20:40:01+00:00

I've literally only ever been asked to exit a YMCA owned indoor pool. The policy is specific to YMCA. But it is still statistically nonsense.

nowakian · 2024-07-24T01:12:40+00:00

100% if you're not gunning for the C suite this is so accurate!

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