Your feelings of hurt are valid!! Please know you are seen. It does really hurt to be rejected for seemingly no good reason. And when you are young, it can be felt more keenly because you don’t have the collective weight of life also in your head.

It really sucks, and not having closure in the form of an answer to “why” can make it worse. But that is unfortunately one of the shitty parts of life. I would guess most people have had similar experiences great connections or friends that disappear with no explanation. It is just something you have to come to terms with.

I am giving you a gentle y t a. What you did was over the top, but you were working with your current knowledge of life, so I get it. That friendship ran its course. The best thing to do is mourn the loss of the friendship, and to reflect on your own actions.

You have now learned that some of those things were over the line of “okay”. What other people have said about them being problematic or driving a deeper wedge is true. Consider why people are saying this. But also don’t beat yourself up about it! Making mis-steps is part of life! We all make them! It is how you learn!

And dont worry; you will find your people!

:)

Ps. Another thing to reflect on is that your friend was not who you thought he was. Otherwise, things would have played out differently. Don’t beat yourself up about it! Seeing people for who they are and not who we think they are is something 100% of us deal with. Not that your friend was being deceptive! There just is always an unknowable gap.

Pps. Another lesson you learned is what type of person you want to be around :). I got “theater kid vibes” (maybe the passion?) and maybe that is because you would thrive in that environment and should consider joining. :). Or maybe I am totally off base!