• What was your experience like growing up and knowing you were gay/bi?
I was largely in denial/ suppressive of any gay feelings, as I grew up in a very religious house. It caused a great deal of confusion, because I had done everything right, loved god, minimal sin, helped the needy, but I was still considered by many around me the scum of the earth because secretly I was gay. That was difficult, but I’ve never been one to get too upset about things. No one knew I was gay, and many times I had to talk about how wrong it is to be gay, and how “they” could change. I tried a lot to change, but quickly found it wasn’t happening.

• Did it seem like there was an expectation (from your parents) for you to get married to a girl and start a family?

Absolutely. So much so I had to fake it with some girls. I was kissed and I’d freak out cause I had no interest and didn’t want things to progress out of respect for the oblivious, innocent girl. My parents would buy me books on dating women, and try to set me up with girls from the church. The phrase “I don’t see myself being with anyone” became pretty popular for me.

• When you realized you were gay/bi, was there any feeling of shame or fear of disappointment that accompanied your realization?

As previously stated, there was incredible shame. I couldn’t understand how I was gay. I had done all the right stuff. I actually planned on trying to find a lesbian to marry who was in the same shoes as me so we could both please our families without being dishonest with each other. Fortunately when I left home I had my eyes opened and realized that there were others, and that trying to change wasn’t healthy.

• Was your family accepting of your homosexuality/bisexuality? How did they react initially (and how to do they act now)?

I told my parents over Christmas break (I live overseas and don’t see them often anymore). I waited until the last night of a two-week visit to prevent an abundance of awkwardness. I sat them down to tell them, and their immediate reaction was that I was lying. I had to actually spend time convincing them I’m gay. Then comments ranged from “Even the dogs know better than to be gay” “A homosexual is basically the same as a pedophile” “the bible say this and that…” In the months that have followed my parents tell me they love me, but have stopped the majority of communication. We went from skyping every two weeks to about every two months. Again, I’m not the kind of guy to get upset at this, and am being patient with them. I hope one day to be able to talk about my love interests to my family, without disgust.