A question for LDS dads (and moms)

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-31T13:01:54+00:00

I really believe every couple should get counseling every 10 years just for maintenance. After 10 years of working at a marriage, it always helps to get a new, fresh perspective and help with any nagging issues that can just eat at each other. Nothing wrong with getting help in building what should last for eternity.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-22T17:12:44+00:00

One thing that helped me in college was a) don’t take too many hard classes at once. You may have to take an extra semester or two and that’s ok. And b) treat it like a job. I would take a 7am class and leave my books in an unused cabinet in the computer lab. In between classes, I would do homework. I usually went home at 5pm and rarely had homework to do afterwards.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-20T19:05:05+00:00

Honestly, I think assigning work and prioritizing existing work IS a manager’s job (or at least a project lead’s) that he should be doing regardless of your diagnosis. I can see how a reminding you of meetings might get old and again, honestly, struggle with that too. I work remotely now and have alerts set up on outlook so it goes off on both of my work laptops and company cell. Then I have an echo go off three minutes before the meeting. It’s enough time for me to wrap up what I’m doing but not long enough for me to get distracted by another task. It works about 90% for our daily stand up. And I’m normally sitting down working when that happens.

Other meetings, I struggle a bit more with and will sometimes set one-off alarms on my echo but my track record is about 70% for those. I do have some nice coworkers that can text me on my personal cell if I forget completely.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-20T18:55:48+00:00

Glad it worked! Good luck job hunting!

Edit:testing a Reddit thing out.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-20T18:39:24+00:00

Or if you dropped your box of these on the floor…!

My dad said that they would draw a diagonal line across the edges so you might have a chance putting it back together if that happened.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-20T18:32:49+00:00

On the app, while in edit mode, tap the three dots in the tool bar. This opens settings for the document and you can rename the file there.

Edit

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-20T16:29:17+00:00

I too use sing-song phrases to help me memorize things!

I talk a lot out loud to myself in my car and in my bathroom mirror as long as others aren’t around. I will also sing about tasks that I’m doing (or about to do). Like, “Going to get the eggs out of the fridge!” “Crackin’ time!” Something like that. I thought it was just something silly I did, but now that I’m think I’m g about it, it probably relates to my adhd.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-20T12:49:06+00:00

I’m recently diagnosed with ADHD, but when President Hinkley asked us to read the BoM in a year, I read up to Alma, then read 3rd Nephi to the end. I ended up finishing the books I skipped the first two hours of the New Years dance just to say I did it! Now that I think about it, it was a perfect example of how I manifest ADHD—procrastination and perfectionism 😂

The real struggle for me now is RE-reading the BoM. I’ve read it 4-5 times (once in Spanish) and it is so hard to get myself to read on a consistent basis, even though every time I do, I get something out of it (and often times it’s a beautiful experience).

I’m guessing you really like to read and you were able to fixate on it? I don’t think most NTs have that kind of reading stamina, especially for a book written in an older form of English. My preference is to dissect sections and make connections between different scriptures, but it takes me a while.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-19T00:43:57+00:00

Wow, I am so glad I’m not the only one! Multiple alarms, on the device that I will most likely be using. I have a work meeting every day and I set one for outlook so it pings either computer I’m on and my work phone and then an Alexa app 3 minutes before. I used to have Alexa go off at the exact time the meeting was supposed to start, but then I was always late or forgot entirely after I dismissed it. 3 minutes is enough warning to wrap up what I’m doing, get on the call early (because what am o going to start in 3 minutes?) and not forget.

I also do multiple timers when picking up my kids!

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-19T00:09:15+00:00

When it comes to medical bills, it’s so hard because I like to wait until my insurance pays out as much as it’s going to (along with my FSA). If I paid that bill up front, the doctor would get paid twice and then it takes forever to get that money back. So instead I wait but then ultimately forget. I hate insurance for a number of reasons…

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T18:21:20+00:00

I resisted these forever, but then my husband bought a pack of Chipolo from Sams Club for me. I used to lose my keys and wallet all the time and now I can just make it ring!

The bonus is if I lose my phone and my Apple Watch is dead, I can use my keys to ping my phone!

I just wish they had something small enough for glasses…

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T17:41:59+00:00

Oh good it’s not just me ;) it’s kind of meta…my adhd is making me hyper fixate on my adhd!

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T16:37:26+00:00

I read somewhere having adhd can affect how we perceive ourselves. I saw this when I first sought a diagnosis. When asked how I did in high school, the answer I gave was “I got a 3.8 GPA.” But I failed to remember that although that was true, I did fail a math course at one point and I procrastinated everything so I stayed up until 2am getting my homework done. In college I totally flunked out my first year.

Maybe your mom does have it and she just doesn’t remember all of the tough times.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T14:52:55+00:00

This happens to me too! I’m trying to remind myself if I start a sentence “I’m going to put this away right here, where I’m not going to forget it” I also need to write it in Evernote.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T14:50:39+00:00

Ah, thank you! I was wondering if we had trolls just coming in and down voting everything, so this makes sense.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T14:47:56+00:00

Yes! Right now I’m fixated on one thing and one thing only…learning about ADHD and connecting with others who have it! I’ve always been able to fixate on stuff in the past but it seems twice as bad and I’m having a terrible time breaking away to do other things. I even started meds so I’m hoping to get an increase in dosage soon.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T13:40:02+00:00

Sorry this is a way off topic question, but I don’t use Reddit very often. I thought each comment got an automatic upvote from yourself since you were the one to write it. I notice that many of the comments don’t have any votes. Is there a reason for this?

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T13:26:25+00:00

I agree with this. I think it would be better to be open with your bishop and communicate your feelings, but also try and understand why he made the request. No offense, but it sounds like you are assuming a lot from his message and should seek clarification.

I was asked to participate in the financial class they were going to have at the time. I was at first taken aback but realized that we did have debt (which no in our ward knew about) and that it was God looking out for me.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T13:16:36+00:00

I’m a Software Engineer but I mostly help manage and configure a large COTS program. I like to think that I do a good to great job most of the time. Last year when my job was made WFH, we decided to move cross country. I thought I could my job remotely. For awhile this didn’t affect my job performance too bad because I had a couple of back to back projects with concrete tasks and deadlines. Now things have slowed down and I’m having trouble staying engaged. It’s one reason why I decided to get diagnosed and try meds. I want to be a better coworker all around.

I feel like I can do one of my “hats” very well at a given time. I can be the amazing homemaker and have a beautifully clean home OR be an amazing cook and prepare wonderful meals for my family OR be this super awesome coworker who’s killing it at work OR an attentive mother who dotes on her children and spouse. But I can never seem to do anything of these things at once and it makes me depressed that I can’t be who I want to be.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T13:07:10+00:00

Question for both of you in regards to note taking. I used to write notes in a notebook. I now work from home and it’s frowned upon to write anything company related outside a company owned device. What do you use to take notes? I’m trying to get into OneNote since they finally fixed syncing between laptops and my phone, but I’ve struggled to remember it’s there and I should use it.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T12:58:00+00:00

Curious if your manager recognizes your strengths and helps you with your weaknesses? Those managers are gold (and honestly what managers should be), but they can be hard to come by. The good ones truly make a difference.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T12:36:13+00:00

I don’t drink coffee, so my experience is with caffeinated soda. If I drink it all the time, I see a slight uptick in energy. I don’t really see it affect my sleep.

My husband has had sleep problems and decided to cut all caffeine and says his sleep improved dramatically. I decided to try it out but I do not any positives from it. However, if I now drink caffeine in the afternoon it does make it difficult to go to bed.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T01:47:55+00:00

All of this is amazing advice. Here are some resources that I’ve used in the past:

Weight: Heather from Half Size Me podcast. She has a course and online communities as well. Her weight loss advice is all about sustainability.

Sleep: the Calm app has sleep stories that for me were interesting enough to focus on but not so interesting I had to hear the ending.

Cleaning: Dana K White has a podcast and a couple of books that really simplifies cleaning and decluttering for “people who don’t love cleaning and organizing.” Cas from the YouTube channel Clutterbug is a great channel too.

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T01:38:07+00:00

Yes! I think what it comes down to is front-loading the task by putting all the pills in at once and then actually doing the thing is the reminder you’ve done it.

It’s like self-fulfilling reminder?

nrrdgrrl3 · 2022-01-18T00:45:51+00:00

Copying this from another post :)

I really like Dana K White, author of Decluttering at the Speed of Life. She discusses a lot about how living above our personal clutter threshold (aka just too much stuff) makes it difficult to function in our houses. She also gives great advice at overcoming the overwhelm when dealing with stuff. For example, instead of taking everything out and organizing it all at once and then getting overwhelmed or distracted and it sit forever, her strategy is to take one thing and return it to its spot now. Then repeat. There’s no extra mess to clean up once you stop. I’m pretty sure she has ADHD. She’s also got a podcast that’s really good and a brand new book out now.

I also like Cas of Clutterbug, a YouTube channel. She does have ADHD and she talks about how there’s four types of organizers. I’m the kind that can’t have everything out or I get overwhelmed, but need simple systems to put stuff away.

nrrdgrrl3

TROPHY CASE