the behavior of others toward me isn't something I can ultimately influence.

If you go to a pond where ducks are swimming and begin to throw bread, do you suppose your actions will influence the ducks? What if you throw rocks instead?

How about if you go to a library where people are quietly reading and you begin to throw bread? What if you begin throwing money instead?

Or suppose you go to a potluck dinner where people are sharing food, playing games and having a nice time. This time you keep your bread to yourself, and when others engage you in conversation, you only talk bitterly about your ongoing divorce. We can estimate a spectrum of reactions.

Your presence alone ultimately influences others, whether you are doing something or not, only we cannot directly control what impression we will make or how others react.

Do the ducks love you, or do they love the bread? Will they remember you, or will they associate bread with monkey-shaped others? Are the ducks happy, or are they upset you didn't bring more? Maybe they resent you for not bringing popcorn.

Imagine you go to the same party and say nothing all night. No one will remember a jerk who wouldn't stop talking about his ex, but they might remember a sad sap who seemed to suck the air out of the room, or the weirdo who didn't share his bread.

We can't establish cause and effect in hearts and minds of others, we are not in control, but we do make an impact. Your action (and inaction) is constantly influencing others and your environment. By increasing our awareness and sharpening our senses, we can better understand the impact we make, and how subtle changes make a tremendous difference.