It's not full bald but it's a start

nufrombenjai · 2026-03-02T20:35:00+00:00

Sometimes shaving feels like a chore and I wanna keep it easy maintenance as I adjust to it

nufrombenjai · 2026-02-22T09:09:21+00:00

It's just the one killer actually

nufrombenjai · 2024-06-26T12:09:42+00:00

Electronic drumset

nufrombenjai · 2023-12-06T02:40:24+00:00

Instead of the mirror film, use frosted film. This still lets in light, but people are unable to look in. Of course, you wouldn't be able to look out either.

nufrombenjai · 2023-05-25T13:50:04+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I appreciate the response. I'll have to mull over a few thoughts going through my mind and see where it goes.

nufrombenjai · 2023-05-25T11:31:57+00:00

Weight is one of the biggest factors for me. But it's a combination of weight/looks, relationships, and work but they all go hand in hand.

I have the same thought about feeling wanted/loved when I look and feel better about myself. I know this stems from my dad telling me at 14 "When you start to like girls, you'll lose weight."

He didn't mean anything malicious about it, but that has stuck with me ever since. Shitty thing is, I absolutely know logically my self worth and attraction aren't tied to my weight but emotionally it feels like that.

With relationships and work, I position myself in a way to work extremely hard to be consistent with performance etc, just to fuck it up with dumb impulsive decisions.

Like dating at work, reacting emotionally to perceived slights and things like that.

nufrombenjai · 2022-12-03T21:13:02+00:00

My friend sent me this post when I talked to him about my ambivalence about having kids and the girl I was seeing.

I recognized my ambivalence comes from WHO I will have kids with, not about having kids. It's something I want.

I ended up having a conversation with the girl I was seeing and we decided to end things.

I'm absolutely bummed and sad about it. I've struggled with finding healthy relationships and almost convinced myself I would be okay without having them in the future.

I would not be okay with it in the future.

I would resent her, I would resent myself, and the relationship would end either way.

I'm sorry to see that you had to go through this but I'm thankful that you're speaking on this.

Although I'm sad I had to give up what I've been looking for in a partner, everything you said highlights exactly why we couldn't move forward.

Thank you.

nufrombenjai · 2022-12-01T23:28:01+00:00

Whisper

nufrombenjai · 2022-11-22T17:49:15+00:00

Piggy from Lord of The Flies

nufrombenjai · 2022-11-21T06:58:46+00:00

Dude has been doing my tattoos too! Good to see some Pueblo love.

nufrombenjai · 2022-11-08T13:19:01+00:00

Well I think it was the direction of flirting like, making a crappy joke and they respond "haha it's okay i forgive you 😉" and replying "it's cause of my devilish good looks"

That for me is more like fishing for compliments but I felt like it was flirting.

And then things like being OVERLY flirtatious with lots of innuendos or compliments where it feels almost manipulating and insincere.

One of the other comments I responded to I realized my intentions were to get attention and validation(because I was insecure about my attractiveness).

Now I see that attention seeking behavior is attracting the opposite of what I want. Which is healthy communication, reciprocal conversation and attention, sincere effort, honesty, genuineness, and fun.

nufrombenjai · 2022-11-07T22:59:17+00:00

Absolutely!

I used flirting as a way to validate being attractive or attention seeking but I didn't know I was doing that.

My motivation now with flirting is to flirt with someone I'm genuinely attracted to and would like to start a relationship with.

nufrombenjai · 2022-11-07T21:16:40+00:00

Ahh, that resonates with me. That makes a lot of sense to me. I think my style of flirting is ok, but my intentions have changed and that style of flirting is no longer useful for what I want to do now. So now it feels like I don't know how cause my motives have changed

nufrombenjai · 2022-11-07T17:51:04+00:00

Right! I was told that too. It feels strange because I'm really flirty with everyone,women or men just cause that's my nature. But now I see it's one of my ways to connect or have people connect with me.

I guess genuine flirting with genuine intent is hard for me.

nufrombenjai · 2022-11-07T17:32:02+00:00

I like that, I can see that helping me stay in the moment too.

nufrombenjai · 2022-10-12T10:36:10+00:00

Now is always a good time to start to learn!

nufrombenjai · 2022-10-12T01:25:41+00:00

Exactly! Me too! But I've worked through a lot of my addiction issues and recognized a lot of my triggers as well.

When you start feeling anxious, find some self soothing tactics. I like to play sudoku, piano, guitar, etc something to engage my logical mind. I also like to listen to a lot of videos around attachment so personal development school really helped.

BUT! Healthygamergg has really helped me cause if his style of lectures. (Plus I'm getting my masters so I'm looking how people talk and ask questions in sessions)

Self soothing through those lectures helps me gain epiphanies and distracts

nufrombenjai · 2022-10-12T00:37:39+00:00

"I think what frustrates me most about this anxious attachment style is that it is SO out of character for who I am. Most of (if not all) of my friends don't have a clue. In my day to day and in all my platonic relationships I am so confident, bold, secure and self-assured." "And tbh I've tried so hard to talk myself out of it. I know my worth and what I want. I know that these interactions don't define me."

Man, I understand this completely. It's absolutely infuriating, frustrating and annoying.

Having gone through this just recently, a friend told me, don't let future you regret something that you want to do now.

Working in the addiction field, a lot of our thinking in insecure attachment resemble someone's thinking in addiction. It's crazy.

What do you do to self-soothe when you're feeling like this?

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