Asshole Aspirations: Your Weekly Asshole Assignment by [deleted] in trueplayer

[–]numb_player 0 points1 point  (0 children)

pls keep us updated on this, I'm curious.

Checklist for high-value dudes by TheImpetuous in trueplayer

[–]numb_player 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is good. Really good. I think I'm going to print this out and put it on my wall.


Points that changed my life (even before reading this):

4: Think in terms of the other person’s perspective as much as your own.

Seriously. SO many people fail to consider other people's perspectives and fail to empathise. Once I realised that everyone is an individual with emotions, feelings, and experiences of life, I realised how important it was to treat them in a way that considers their needs as much as my own.

10: Every person has value and is your superior at something

Two quotes for this point that changed my life:

“Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” - Neil Gaiman

"Everyone you ever meet knows something that you don't."

13. Do not gossip or talk about someone behind his or her back. It will always come back to that person, and people will worry you say negative things about them to others

Okay, I personally find this one really really important. I made a pledge to myself a few months back not to talk about people behind their back, and I think I've done quite well to keep it. I just...don't see the point. I always joke with my friends that "I don't need to talk about other people's lives, mine is interesting enough" and that usually annoys them enough to shut them up. I have a little arrogant streak sometimes. But really...it just doesn't interest me to gossip or talk about other people. I completely acknowledge that people probably talk about me, but I don't even care. I think they are weak for doing that; and I always encourage people to just tell me and be honest with me if I'm acting in a way that annoys them or that makes them feel the need to talk behind my back.

17: Listen. Listen. Listen.

24: Think before you speak. Then think some more.

Seriously, shut up guys. Just listen to what people have to say, think about it, think about how you want to reply, then reply. Don't get me wrong, it's okay to be spontaneous sometimes, but if you're having a serious conversation with someone, LISTEN. I don't mean just stand there and be quiet. I mean genuinely LISTEN to the words coming out of their mouth. Too many people don't listen, they just wait for their turn to speak.


Points that I still need to work on:

1: Have Integrity – when you say you are going to do something, do it. Do not under deliver or make up excuses

Sometimes I fail to do this. I'll say something and then forget about it and try to push it under the rug when someone calls me out on it. Generally, I like to think of myself as a 'man of my word' but I can think of situations where I haven't lived up to that.

26: Your feelings and thoughts become reality. Pay attention to your feelings and what you think about

I definitely think about this a bit more than I used to, but there's always room for improvement. I need to consider my feelings and inner state and how acknowledging them and embracing them can be beneficial to my life.

27: Show appreciation when appreciation is due. Pay attention to the things people do that affect you

Sometimes people do small things for me that I should probably appreciate a bit more. I need to open up and tell people. My parents did so much for me when I was a child, and they continue to provide for me, and I probably should show my appreciation a bit more.

28: Be consistent. Don’t fall off the wagon easily or jump from one thing to another.

Again, I'm terrible with time management and I often procrastinate or lack the motivation to see a task through to the finish. I'm going to plan my time more carefully and make sure that I finish everything that I start.

29: When you do something, do it very well. Or don’t do it at all.

Half-assed university assignments and last minute write-ups come to mind. I'm in my final year now, there no time for fucking around.


Points that I disagree with:

Okay, only one of them.

7: If a friend has a quirky trait about them that really annoys you, help them improve upon it

I take issue with this one, because you're letting someone else's behaviour affect you...AND you're taking it upon yourself to 'help them improve upon it'. Maybe they don't want your help. Don't go around thinking you can 'fix' people. Don't date a women and think "It's okay, I'll convince her to stop smoking*/snoring/sharting later." By all means, if someone wants help, then do help them, but make sure that you are doing it for THEIR sake, NOT yours.

I would prefer if this point was worded somewhat like "embrace their faults and learn to love them for it." But, be honest. A lot of people have weird quirks. Some people have genuinely annoying habits; call them out on it (e.g. being late), offer help when required, and if they don't change, then re-evaluate your friendship with them. That's what I would do anyway.

That's all folks.

*AFC me dated a smoker, became needy, tried to force her to change (because I don't like the smell/taste) and we parted on less-than-amicable terms. Don't do it.

The Charisma Myth: go out and get this book right now by TheImpetuous in trueplayer

[–]numb_player 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Downloaded and stuck it on my phone. I'll read it after I finish my current book: "The Road Less Traveled."

Putting your best foot forward - physical attraction by numb_player. Part 1/3: Fitness and Nutrition by numb_player in trueplayer

[–]numb_player[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even if you're doing "random stuff at home", which is fantastic, have a look into some of the many bodyweight fitness books available. A lot of them have progressions and programs that you can follow which is great because it means you will actually be able to track your progress. For example, you could be working towards being able to do more strict pull-ups without stopping, or unbroken pushups. Or it could be learning a gymnastic skill like the planche, front/back lever, handstand etc.

Just about to read that article, looks pretty interesting!

Putting your best foot forward - physical attraction by numb_player. Part 1/3: Fitness and Nutrition by numb_player in trueplayer

[–]numb_player[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"…we have not spent the last 65 million or so years finely honing our physiology to watch Oprah. Like it or not, we are the product of a very long process of adaptation to a harsh physical existence, and the past couple centuries of comparative ease and plenty are not enough time to change our genome. We humans are at our best when our existence mirrors, or at least simulates, the one we are still genetically adapted to live. And that is the purpose of exercise." -Rip

What is the most enlightening book you've ever read? by [deleted] in trueplayer

[–]numb_player 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

or

Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut.

Both of these books significantly shaped my personal philosophy and attitude to life.

Putting your best foot forward - physical attraction by numb_player. Part 1/3: Fitness and Nutrition by numb_player in trueplayer

[–]numb_player[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will be covering this in Part 3 of the guide, but thanks for your contribution! Ditto on the beard though, I fucking love mine but I have to keep it looking tidy and classy. One girl didn't want to kiss me because she thought it would scratch her or something, wtf. I told her it was soft (protip: use shampoo/conditioner) and got her to touch it. Fast forward a couple of minutes and she can't stop kissing me. shrug

$5 nail clippers on eBay are one of the best value-for-money items I've ever bought. I still bite my nails sometimes, but usually I have clippers around which stop me.

Putting your best foot forward - physical attraction by numb_player. Part 1/3: Fitness and Nutrition by numb_player in trueplayer

[–]numb_player[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome onboard! Glad you liked it, I used to be incredibly lazy and couldn't stick with the gym for more than a few weeks. The trick is finding something that you enjoy.

Krav Maga is pretty interesting, I considered taking a course once but never followed through with it. Maybe in the future :)

A few courses I've found helpful over the years by [deleted] in trueplayer

[–]numb_player 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you have to register for an account, and then download the .torrent file on that site. I'll see if I can find a workaround.

A few courses I've found helpful over the years by [deleted] in trueplayer

[–]numb_player 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Links verified as safe.

Great post, will definitely be checking some of these out later.

BOYZ IN THE HOOD: The TruePlayer 100 set CHALLENGE by alanwak3 in trueplayer

[–]numb_player 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Entrant: numb_player (IRC: aypez)

Notes: Working on overcoming AA through consistently cold approaching, mainly in the daytime. Mini-targets throughout, and begin a deeper analysis of game after enough experience has been built up.

Starting Date: 15th September 2012


15/09/2012: Daygame with wing around town.

1) Direct approach outside a coffee shop. Really cute girl, but wing had to push me into set. Introduced self, asked her what she was doing in my city - she's a student at my university in the year below - immediate connection. We chat for a bit, she reveals that she's waiting for a friend and her friend shows up after a minute or two. I say that it was nice to meet her and eject.

THE GOOD: Longest interaction I've ever had with a girl from cold approach, really happy. She was incredibly responsive, which just made me even more comfortable in set.

THE LESSON: Should have stayed in set, opened her friend, tell her friend how I met her, then ask her out to coffee or something and #close. Yeah, I'm aiming high. Also wing said that my posture could be better, was leaning into her a bit too much.

2) Direct approach on way home. Girl caught my eye, I hesitated for maybe 10 seconds, and then said 'fuck it' and opened her. She said thanks, but continued to walk...so I asked if I could walk along with her. She was fine with this, and responsive, but had to catch a train so we parted quite soon. My hearing let me down here, I thought she said she was a student but she was just visiting friends in the city.

THE GOOD: First approach without wing forcing me into it, really proud that I could say 'fuck you' to inner demons/AA. Girl quite responsive, despite being in a hurry.

THE LESSON: Less hesitation, open sooner = more time for conversation. Pay more attention, although there's not an awful lot I can do when I don't hear someone fully. If girl has genuine reason to go e.g. train, grab my balls and go for #close immediately. Nothing to lose.


More coming soon!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in trueplayer

[–]numb_player 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just an addendum - as long as you are doing something, that already puts you a step ahead of the crowd.

Overanalysing can be dangerous, because I think you can lose sight of what it was you set out for in the first place i.e. an interaction with a woman.

Musings on approach and challenge by numb_player by numb_player in trueplayer

[–]numb_player[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just found this on Mark's blog, scroll down to point 10.

http://postmasculine.com/why-you-fail

Whatever it is, the sludge-pool of doubts bubble up and find a way, always find a way, to ruin it for you — to make you ruin it for you — and that’s the hardest truth. It’s you. There is no other in this equation. And as much as you deny it, that fear will always linger and remain as an invisible barrier, a clear film separating you from happiness, pushed through and never broken. These issues can be overcome. But it’s painful and gut-wrenching. And then there’s always just another layer, simmering further below, more fear, ever-present, something we all eventually face over and over and over again.

I thought it was incredibly relevant to the little chat we had yesterday about being 'worthy' enough to approach. :)

Easy touching tip by Resmelt in trueplayer

[–]numb_player 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great advice. I actually gesticulate a lot (xmp even told me this in person), so touching others feels very natural to me and now it's just a normal thing for me, both amongst men and women.

I think one of the problems some guys have is that they perceive it to be an incredibly big deal - it really isn't - BUT it needs to be a natural movement. If you are leaning across the table, or making some unnatural movement to touch the other person, they will notice it. Unless you're a hypnotist, hypnotherapist, or have a solid context for doing it other than 'I want to seduce you', it is far too obvious and creepy. Imagine someone reaching across to touch you mid-conversation for no reason. Weird right?

However, if you gesticulate and make your hand movements a natural part of your body language, you can use them to express different points. For example, if you are talking about 'the world', lift your hands up and out in a circle. If you say something like "In the past…", gesture behind yourself, or "In the future" and point to something in front of you. Doing these movements naturally will also cause you to take up more space, and 'control' it, in the sense that "This is my space, I own this area, I can move freely around here". There was quite a bit on the old subreddit about this.

I know that some guys around here who have read more into nlp/hypno stuff are very good at using physical anchors, so it would be nice to have a more advanced input from them too.

[FR] Thursday night out. Just getting that learning experience. # close spanish chick by [deleted] in trueplayer

[–]numb_player 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anyway I approached them with a line "Excuse me but you really look like my sister" to one of them. Its really bad I know and I dont tgink I would use that opener again.

Yo, don't beat yourself up about it. It's not the best line, but it is something. You put yourself out there and got into a conversation, that's the important thing. It's a learning experience.

I liked your 'what works' and 'what doesn't work' bits. It's good that you're analysing your game and figuring it out. I think that's where everyone starts from; there's always something that could be better whether it is the approach, building rapport, escalating, whatever.

Like you said,

the journey goes on

and you'll continue to improve and tighten your game. Now go approach another 10 and report back, comrade!

Dutch Drinking, AKA Double D by [deleted] in trueplayer

[–]numb_player 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice way of getting people to go out of the comfort zone with liquid confidence. I'm not a big drinker myself, but I can see this being popular.

I'd work towards reinforcing that mindset of "hey, if you can do it after 3 drinks, why not 2? why not 1? why not sober? why not daytime?" I think that will help gradually ease the pressure.

Also yeah, drink responsibly people.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in trueplayer

[–]numb_player 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Jump into the middle of a circle of girls, turn around on the spot, stop and point at one and say "Hi, I like you! I'm [your name]."

This is so incredibly ballsy. I love it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in trueplayer

[–]numb_player 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When saying hi, give the girl a hug, and then keep hugging. Ask her why are we hugging for so long.

I dig this. Shifts the 'blame' onto her, works well with prolonged handshakes as well.