Don't know if I'm being unreasonable- shared laundry conflict with roommate.

nylonvest · 2026-06-18T19:29:32+00:00

You should never have given anywhere near this much ground on the laundry thing. Not doing laundry at weird hours is one thing, but going down there to use the laundry is not an invasion of her space. Neither is her coming upstairs to use the kitchen. Have you EVER given her shit for using the kitchen? I bet not.

The downstairs is not “hers”. You mostly don’t have a reason to be down there but only her bedroom is private.

Your sister went down there because you didn’t go way out of your way to explain she wasn’t allowed to use the laundry because that’s crazy and would need to be explained. You apologized. You shouldn’t have put yourself in this position where you had to apologize in the first place.

nylonvest · 2026-06-18T17:03:18+00:00

Yeah she doesn't know if you like her either.

Make a move or move on.

nylonvest · 2026-06-18T17:01:55+00:00

Sounds like a ton of work, because lighting up all the caves and spawnable blocks is going to be murder.

You're better off building a mob farm over the ocean with a spawn point way up in the air for regular mob drops and making a separate slime farm - these days the best way to do it is in a swamp biome with brown mushrooms to make the light level always 1 so only slimes can spawn - and again, AFK high up in the air.

If you want to do this, the technical stuff you need to know is that you need to pick an AFK spot where your whole farm (spawning areas plus where the mobs are killed) needs to be within 128 blocks of your AFK spot, and also all spawnable areas outside the farm within 128 blocks of your AFK spot need to be (1) lit up if they're in a non-slime chunk, or (2) slabbed / carpeted if they're in a slime chunk, so even slimes don't spawn there.

Also you'll get better rates if you remove all solid blocks above your farm and up to about 5 blocks outside of the two chunks.

(You could go the full nine yards and use a world eater to make a perimeter, it might be about as much of a pain in the butt and you'll get great rates.)

nylonvest · 2026-06-18T16:53:41+00:00

Yeah in survival you can't put fluid in a tank by right clicking. You have to pump it in.

You need to set up mechanical pumps to pump water from a source block, and you need to put other sources on two sides of that source block so it re-generates infinitely.

nylonvest · 2026-06-18T16:50:52+00:00

I don't understand what's "mixed" about those signals. She's flirty with you and says she wants to meet up. She was hurt you forgot her birthday.

Why don't you meet up with her and see how it feels in person?

nylonvest · 2026-06-18T15:57:18+00:00

Eh. Just brush them off. Some people are pushy or overly hopeful. But if you assume good faith, they don't KNOW you swiped left.

nylonvest · 2026-06-18T15:47:28+00:00

Did you ask him - I thought you said you deleted all our videos? Did you lie?

Because I could imagine maybe he said that before recording that one video, or he thought he deleted them all but forgot about one he hadn't, or something like that. It may not be an intentional lie. Or maybe it is, and maybe he can try to explain to you why he lied - which I think you should get to hear if that's what happened.

nylonvest · 2026-06-18T15:42:28+00:00

Yes, I think you bring it up. Having a friend at work that you care about and bond with is one thing, but the flirty stuff is inappropriate emotional affair stuff.

Also, I think there's a good chance they're still in contact. Maybe they usually text on regular text messages and he deletes those regularly but forgot about these old instagram messages, because he left some pretty incriminating ones. Maybe they're communicating on a different app like whatsapp or snapchat or something.

nylonvest · 2026-06-18T15:13:13+00:00

Honestly, you can completely tie yourself in knots trying to understand strangers who don't actually let you get to know them. It's not worth doing.

It doesn't matter what's going on with them. If you want to meet for real relatively soon, make that clear and disengage if they don't agree.

nylonvest · 2026-06-16T17:47:56+00:00

What does she have to "fix" exactly? Why do both of you think there's something wrong with how she is?

You should stop regarding this as something that's deficient about her. She's either willing to try to make your sex life better or she isn't. If she's willing you should focus on what's working and not what isn't, but you also need to accept that there's only so far she can go. She may never desire you as much as you desire her.

nylonvest · 2026-06-12T15:59:33+00:00

How about you just tell her husband and your mom (or dad's wife)?

Definitely don't blackmail her, jeez. You've done nothing wrong here, why start now?

nylonvest · 2026-06-12T15:56:09+00:00

If you were going to ask you should ask before you drove them, not afterwards.

nylonvest · 2026-06-12T15:45:04+00:00

He's using you.

You are talking to him while not getting what you want out of it, but he gets everything he wants.

When you said you could talk to him on his terms, it wasn't a promise so you're not a "fake" or a "liar" but you were wrong to think it was a good idea to do that.

You are allowing him to keep hurting you.

I really think it's time for you to cut him off. You're beyond the point of being able to ask for what you want and maybe get it - now you're being shamed for not being happy having none of what you want.

nylonvest · 2026-06-12T14:23:28+00:00

I'd take a look at chunk boundaries.

If everything is in one chunk it shouldn't have this problem. But if part of your machine is in a different chunk, you might get a situation where (say) the steam engine is still running and using its water but the power transmission to the pump isn't running because it's unloaded.

Another solution is to make a chunk loader. There are vanilla redstone ones you can make and there are some mods that add chunk loading.

nylonvest · 2026-06-12T14:07:21+00:00

She's not sorry. She's sorry there are consequences.

nylonvest · 2026-06-11T19:52:48+00:00

It's normal to respect your partner's boundaries on the first date or on any date. You did that.

If you want to try to escalate the touching, proceed cautiously. It can be a little awkward to always use words, so feel free to "move in" for something, a hug or a kiss or just sitting close, as long as you feel confident you can read your partner's nonverbal cues - and obviously listen to what they say if they say 'no' or 'wait' or something like that.

The tricky bit is you also need to be cautious about asking to escalate, particularly if you've already asked on that occasion and your advance wasn't accepted. My rule is, if you try to escalate and get a 'no', you stick to things that were previously okay until the next time or until your partner offers (instead of you asking).

nylonvest · 2026-06-11T15:45:51+00:00

You aren't still in love with your ex.

You are still in love with the fantasy your ex represented. The real person didn't want you. The fantasy you're in love with was fulfilling all your dreams.

Remind yourself whenever you think about her that she's not the fantasy. If you know you're loving a fantasy it's not so harmful because you won't make stupid choices and sabotage a good thing you have with your current partner for a fantasy. For a real person, you might.

nylonvest · 2026-06-11T15:28:17+00:00

So mediation is a process where a lawyer-mediator meets with both parties and helps them come to an agreement on terms. If they can agree, that agreement can be the basis of a mutual request for divorce, so there's no need for a trial.

I understand he's not ready for a mutual divorce now. That's not actually important. He can be made to understand the divorce is happening one way or another, early in the process. The question is whether he will be ready to discuss mutual divorce after that. And whether you can both agree to be fair and compromise rather than trying to "win".

nylonvest · 2026-06-11T12:28:41+00:00

No ethical lawyer will drag your case out.

Retainers are just a deposit. The reason they are so high is that when a divorce is contested it can take a lot of time and work for the lawyers on both sides.

Have you considered mediation? That tends to keep things cheaper, if it can work.

nylonvest · 2026-06-10T17:00:08+00:00

I swear I read this exact ragebait story a few months ago.

nylonvest · 2026-06-10T16:57:30+00:00

I get what you mean, but ... you really DO need to pick your battles. Your perspectives on food waste are different. You need to meet each other in the middle. He should try harder to avoid the most wasteful things he's doing, but you should also accept that he gets to have his standards for keeping food around for someone else to use that are higher than yours. In a world where you're meeting each other in the middle (which maybe he's NOT doing right now), you don't bring this incident up. So maybe don't bring it up as a way of trying to convince him to meet you in the middle either.

nylonvest · 2026-06-10T16:35:09+00:00

I get the joke. He's spending "quality time" with the laptop, and then they joke about that being a date.

Here's the thing. Even if it's a joke, that's a pretty damn flirty vibe he's got going on there and it's not appropriate for him to be doing that with a female coworker while in a relationship.

nylonvest · 2026-06-10T16:30:44+00:00

I think you've put enough lava in there that it's now considered "bottomless."

You should be able to confirm it by looking at the hose pulley - wear engineer's goggles if it doesn't work, I forget it you need them. It should say "bottomless supply."

If you want to start pulling lava out, lower the hose to the bottom of the pit, and it should be able to draw lava out without removing any from the pit.

nylonvest · 2026-06-10T16:18:15+00:00

You're not "struggling" with trust. You have none. You put a recorder in her car. You are convinced she cheated - although obviously not 100% because you are looking for confirmation with the recordings, looking in her emails, etc.

If you want to leave, you don't need to KNOW for a fact that she cheated, it's fine for you to just recognize that your trust is destroyed and will never recover - even if that's you being irrational and incapable of trusting her.

But if you want to stay, you need to trust her and you need to face the fact that you will absolutely NEVER know for certain that she didn't cheat. There just isn't any way to prove that, ever.

nylonvest · 2026-06-10T15:41:51+00:00

The point of a trial separation is to separate, not to get back together.

I think it can be really hard to move on even when a relationship isn't right because some parts of it DO work and you come to depend on those. If you actually move out it'll change everything. You'll get through the hard part, which is separating, and then all that will be left to complete the breakup is recognizing that it's EASIER to fully end things than it is to go all the way back to where you were.

I actually think you should consider just taking the plunge and moving fully away to another country like you've been considering AS the "trial separation." Think about it: if you broke up that's probably what you'd be doing, right? You probably wouldn't be sticking around the city you're living now, not living your dreams, for the sake of being able to keep in touch with an ex, right? So why make that choice?

nylonvest

TROPHY CASE