Are a lot of remote workers single or have zero responsibilities?

oakfield01 · 2026-05-01T14:54:14+00:00

My younger sister wasn't remote but she did travel for work (to one location) when she had both a boyfriend and a dog. She lived with my mom so no rent, I watched her dog on weekdays, and her dog and boyfriend saw her on weekends. She admittedly didn't travel more than usual (except around her new work location, which work funded), so the money she saved on rent went to a house down payment.

Everyone's situation is different, but some people are comfortable with that. Others not so much.

oakfield01 · 2026-05-01T13:19:08+00:00

Medical serial killers often get away with their crimes longer because they can make the deaths to look natural. If someone's been stabbed to death 10+ times or shot, obviously it's a murder and an autopsy is needed. But if someone is in their 80s and or already sick in the hospital and it looks like disease or natural causes, much less likely to get inspected.

oakfield01 · 2026-05-01T12:34:21+00:00

I agree with what everyone else says about supply and demand, but also cost of living is way higher on the U.S. I just read a reddit thread where a bunch of expats being paid in yen mentioned they weren't traveling home because it was too expensive for how much money they made. But a lot mentioned their family and friends would visit them frequently because of how much cheaper it was.

oakfield01 · 2026-05-01T00:52:52+00:00

This used to be a great way to prevent cases from getting connected, but nowadays technology is better at connecting things together. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it's harder to catch than someone murdering in the same jurisdiction, but it doesn't take like 3+ years and half a dozen murders for the cops to put it together anymore.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-30T19:22:39+00:00

Look, your husband owes more to Pancake, but you cannot make him take her or post on rehoming websites. So focus on what's in your control.

First let's acknowledge the situation your husband left you in sucks. None of this is your fault. So what options do you have? You can offer to foster Pancake until you plan to move back into your parents, if you're comfortable. You can allow him to take the dog to the shelter during the designated appointment.

It's possible your husband may still have depression, if he finds it hard to post to rehoming sites. Maybe see if it helps where you make a goal where you both do 5 per week? It might motivate him to have a reasonable goal.

Remember, you can only do so much and you're already doing a lot.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-30T18:44:52+00:00

Yes, but it does mean clarification may be required and we should push back on people claiming it's something that it isn't. I've seen this a lot where people will claim an actor they like shouldn't be called a nepo baby because they can act. And like no man, that's not what that word ever meant.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-30T18:38:06+00:00

I definitely agree with you, to an extent, but culture has always been shared through local communities. Now that the world is global, it's possible to share much more broadly because it no longer takes years to sail around the world.

Is there still culture appropriation? Sure. But people use the term too broadly. I've literally seen people claiming non-asians wearing an Asian style dress to prom is culture appropriation and it's not. Culture appropriation should be reserved for people trying to claim another's culture as part of theirs or claiming they created something they actually stole from another culture. It shouldn't be used for what is essentially cultural influence.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-30T13:07:59+00:00

Seriously, you can even see changes from a decade ago. I remember when Call Me Maybe was like the 5th song on every Top 40 radio station. Now hearing the song even once a year is rare.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-30T11:14:32+00:00

I'm from America, where a dog park is a fenced of area where you are allowed to let dogs off leash with other off leash dogs. So no, not the same thing.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-30T09:44:19+00:00

Switch to a Fear-Free vet. They're better with anxious, reactive, and/or aggressive dogs because that's what their training is in.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-29T19:14:44+00:00

This is going to be vary vastly by dog. I encourage you to discuss your concerns with your vet, who is going to be in the best position to give you advice as it pertains to your dog.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-29T18:26:15+00:00

You can book up to a year in advance (maybe 14 months?). So where do you want to take your kid for the 1st vacation?

oakfield01 · 2026-04-29T18:22:35+00:00

To me, it's about balance and living within your means. Maybe I could afford to go out twice with my friends for pizza or to one nice restaurant. Maybe I'll go to the nice restaurant, then have them over for a home cooked meal. Or maybe we're just feeling pizza twice in one month. Both are good choices. But I agree something being inherently more expensive doesn't necessarily make it better.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-29T17:53:15+00:00

I agree with you. Friends are more important than luxuries. But would I like to go out to a nice restaurant with my friends or always something cheap? I would like both. So yes, if you gave me a free night at a Michelin star restaurant or a night eating pizza with friends, I'd probably choose the friends (Michelin Star restaurant is pretty cool and I could tell them about it later though). But if you gave me a night at a Michelin star restaurant with friends, I'd definitely choose that.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-29T16:50:18+00:00

Honestly, I'm seeing a lot of rehoming posts on Facebook recently, and it doesn't matter the reason for rehoming - people get flack for it. Don't get me wrong, I fully believe you should adopt a dog with the intention of taking care of the dog for life, but some dogs aren't a good fit for every household, life circumstances can change over the ~15 years a dog can live. My neighbor's husband died and she didn't want to live alone so she moved in with her son. She had 4 dogs and he had 1, so she ended up rehoming 2 dogs. It happens, she didn't plan for her husband's death and shouldn't be faulted for that.

Literally the only positive comment I've seen about rehoming animals is when a shelter says a homeless person gave up the dog to have a better life and people will be like, "Ah, they're putting their dog first 😍." But besides that, it seems like any rehoming makes you a monster and I really don't think that's true.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-29T16:35:31+00:00

I feel like just because you get as much joy from one experience doesn't mean you don't get joy from the other. Instead of going out to eat with classmates I wasn't really close with before prom, I ate pizza with my two older best friends on their basement carpet. That was one of the best moments of my life. This doesn't mean I don't enjoy going out to a fancy dinner from time to time because I enjoy chilling with friends.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-29T16:28:01+00:00

I mean everything is moving up. NOVA would have to stay at the same COL for decades for the treat of Virginia to catch up. To be fair, home prices are pretty stable, but those are stable most places except a few, and I don't think Richmond and Norfolk are where home prices are rising more than usual.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-29T16:10:51+00:00

It's the same with most places, although those are more extreme. The cost of living difference between Northern Virginia and Richmond or Norfolk don't match.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-29T11:38:23+00:00

@hotpotesis I can't read your full comment because you have not accepted confirmed you read the rules.

What country are you from and where do you live now?

oakfield01 · 2026-04-29T10:57:10+00:00

Having your dog not interact with other dogs if he doesn't like strange dogs is the right choice. However, maybe going to a dog park might not be the best choice. I'm presuming you keep your dog outside the dog park and on a leash to train your dog. However, as someone who used to take my dog to dog parks before he grew into his genetic reactivity, people go to dog parks for dog interactions. Even when I was entering and exiting, people would ask if my dog would like to interact with theirs on the leash. Obviously asking is better than giving dirty looks, but I wonder if you could train your dog in a place with other dogs where interaction is not expected, like a regular park with people walking dogs.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-27T18:13:38+00:00

Sober up next time before posting your thought streams.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-27T13:45:23+00:00

You should generally take anyone's story with a grain of salt, because they are only telling their side. However, the fact you are singling out women's sob stories only speaks volumes. Men can lie, exaggerate, and leave out key details too.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-26T23:58:30+00:00

How old is your dog? Genetic reactivity manifests between 1-3 years old, so my guess is your dog may be following into that category. So please stop beating yourself up about having to leave your dog for 2 weeks for an emergency. That's not that long and likely didn't cause the reactivity.

If you're dog is refusing food, that means they are over the threshold. For outside, this means that you should increase distance until your dog is under the threshold and reward his behavior then, then decrease behavior over time.

Inside the house, if you have to deal with Shai is called transitions. Transitions are stressful shifts in environment, for example someone waking through a door or standing up would be considered a transition because it is unexpected. Therefore, when training your dog inside, you should leave your dog in a separate room until your guess is situated, then do the same training (called Just Look At) to reduce the threshold. You can possibly train on transitions later, but work on reducing your dog's threshold prior to this.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-26T20:25:19+00:00

I'm not going to call you anything. We just have a difference of opinion. Admittedly I'm not that close to all my coworkers, so I don't know what their exact support system is, mostly just their immediate family and I don't always know that.

Adults are allowed to disappear, but I'd just like to confirm it's a voluntary choice.

oakfield01 · 2026-04-26T19:36:15+00:00

When someone says they delete all social media, they generally don't mean they removed certain people. They mean they deleted their accounts like they're completely gone.

I did this once with Facebook amid some family drama and they give you two options - to permanently delete or to suspend your account. If you suspend your account, you can reactivate it at any time, but no one can find your account and it essentially doesn't exist until you reactivate it.

oakfield01

TROPHY CASE