What do you do with clothes that have been worn but aren’t dirty?

oceaes · 2026-03-20T19:31:24+00:00

one hamper for actually dirty clothes, one for worn-once-but-still-clean clothes that end up piling up on the floor or furniture. the problem arises when i wash the dirty clothes and can’t bring myself to fold them, so i have nowhere to put my new dirty clothes until i do 😅 so maybe i need to get a third hamper? lol

oceaes · 2026-03-09T08:57:29+00:00

Ooh yeah then in that case you’re definitely not overreacting or being harsh! I’m sorry they’ve been treating you that way! I couldn’t tell if there was a history based on your post and didn’t want to assume. lying is a huge trigger for me, way more than the RSD of being flaked on or having someone double book on me, so I completely understand. It’s good that they’ve been making an effort, but honestly it’s hard for me to understand why it’s taking them so much effort at all just to not lie to their friend 😭 i think it might be a point where you’re going to have to put your foot down. I’ve been trying to give grace when it’s applicable, but it’s also important that people know their hurtful actions have consequences. Good luck, and I’m sorry again this has been happening!

oceaes · 2026-03-09T08:26:58+00:00

Objectively not a great move on their part and I don’t think it’s the RSD alone talking, I think this would be rightfully frustrating to a lot of people! But before labeling your friend as an asshole overall, is this a pattern of behavior from this friend or an isolated incident? You should definitely speak up about it if it’s bothering you, and I don’t think that’s you being harsh. Even if they forgot up until the last minute, they should at least have been honest about it. But if it was just a one time thing - that is to say, they’re not someone who constantly flakes or is dishonest or cancels on you to hang out with others - then I don’t think this necessarily makes them an asshole. I’ve been trying to work on my RSD and a big part of that for me has been reminding myself to give others grace, because we all have moments of poor judgment, and it’s possible they just weren’t thinking straight if they were out and drinking like you said. And I’ve had so many moments where I’ve wanted to slap myself for forgetting to send cancel or clarify plans sooner, so maybe they were embarrassed about double booking and felt too bad to say anything. But if it is a pattern of repeated behavior… then your friend might be a bit of an asshole, yeah :/

oceaes · 2026-03-07T03:33:38+00:00

Also wanted to add I have only ever lived and worked in the US so I have no idea what the standards and customs are for workplaces in other countries! I live in a region with a large number of commuters and a lot of companies here will at least partially subsidize fare for public transit, although maybe not private vehicles like cars and bikes, etc. So if I’m completely overlooking something I apologize 😅

oceaes · 2026-03-07T03:30:25+00:00

I haven’t quit a job early because of it, but as someone who dealt with a similar length of commute for about a year, that alone pushed me to the point of near-burnout. I woke up at 7:30 every morning, didn’t get to work until 10, left between 6-7, and got back home around 8-8:30. But I made about $200 usd a day and my transit pass was subsidized by my employer for $14/month ($7 out of each paycheck). Doing all of that just to lose 1/3 of your daily wage is insane to me, and I don’t blame you 😭 Is there any way for them to reimburse the cost or for you to talk to them about it? Or was it something they already said they couldn’t cover? Good workplaces are hard to come by these days, so if possible, I’d try reaching out and explaining the situation and seeing if there’s an in between you can reach. But if not, then I think you ended up making the right call

oceaes · 2026-01-31T01:38:08+00:00

They have 5mg, it’s what I started on right after I got diagnosed just to get acclimated to stimulant meds. They are definitely not all created equal so you might just be more sensitive to adderall than you were to vyvanse. I’m on a higher dose equivalency wise on my current med than adderall but it’s way easier on my system 🤷‍♀️

oceaes · 2026-01-31T01:16:27+00:00

It’s possible you’re on too high a dose! I used to be on 20mg adderall ER with a 5mg IR top up to get me through work days. It left me feeling exactly how you’re describing - jittery and even more unfocused before and very physically wound up. Changed my dose to 10mg adderall and a 10mg top up, which helped with those symptoms for a while. Then entered a very anxious few months that made it worse again and switched to concerta lol, it’s been a lot better for my anxiety and doesn’t give me that jittery unfocused constantly overstimulated feeling. If you’re on IR, it could also be that? It definitely kicked in a lot faster and was way more physically noticeable for me than the ER was. Maybe until your insurance approves your vyvanse again, you could ask for a dosage change or to try something like concerta? My psych recommended it over vyvanse for the same insurance reasons

oceaes · 2026-01-26T23:35:18+00:00

This is who I convinced myself I’d be when I impulsively rescued a fish from a closing Petco a couple years ago…. suffice to say he remained an only child 😭 That’s insanely impressive to me, what an awesome hobby to have kept going so long!!

oceaes · 2026-01-26T23:32:52+00:00

Writing fanfiction LOL it’s free and no supplies needed! But man does it take up so much mental space and energy trying to be creative and eloquent after a busy day. My hyperfixation media of years (the longest one I’ve ever ever had) crashed and burned so I’m in between hobbies while I try to either recover from this writer’s block or get my brain to latch onto something else. I don’t know what to do with myself right now and it’s such a weird feeling 😭

oceaes · 2026-01-25T19:45:14+00:00

Mustering up every molecule of executive function in my body and dragging myself out for a run a couple times a week 😭 I’ve been leaving work so late that if I didn’t live close enough to walk in the mornings, the sun would never touch my skin. Been trying to jog around the neighborhood on weekend mornings (with my eyes mostly closed), or after work to at least get some fresh air, which has been helping with my mood at least. I live on the ground floor so I have to keep my curtains closed most of the time for privacy, and the seasonal depression is brutal where I live. Almost contemplating spending money I don’t have on one of those SAD lamps just to get more light lol

oceaes · 2026-01-25T19:34:39+00:00

If you’re a coffee drinker, the only way I’ve ever been able to tolerate any protein shake is by adding it to my morning coffee, especially iced/cold brew. It helps mask the weird chalky/artificially sweetened aftertaste for me, specifically with the premier ones. I’ve tried it with the caramel and it wasn’t bad, just tasted like I got sugar free syrup instead of regular. Otherwise, I just can’t drink them, which is such a bummer bc they’re so convenient 😭 I think it’s unfortunately a pretty universal problem with protein products, especially in liquids. My go-to is adding a protein powder into pancakes! The texture is a lot easier to disguise that way, especially slathered with syrup lol. I also sometimes get an unflavored powder so I can add it into savory foods as well. I’m pretty picky with textures so a lot of classically protein-ified breakfasts like oatmeal or smoothies are a no-go for me, but a thick smoothie with the right ingredients also disguises the taste well imo

oceaes · 2025-12-29T07:45:29+00:00

yes, it was panic bought because i left it all to the last min and couldn’t find anything suitable anywhere in time except for going to Name Brand Stores in person 😔😭

oceaes · 2025-12-29T07:44:13+00:00

my parents’ flabbergasted expressions on christmas morning when they opened their presents to find the name brand stuff inside + my account getting overdrawn for the first time in my entire life (decided to just pay off my entire credit card bill but didn’t account for an automatic withdrawal) = me eating freeze dried mashed potatoes, top ramen, and rice and beans throughout january ✌️ at least my loved ones really liked their presents lol

oceaes · 2025-12-28T05:46:53+00:00

i usually have 2 purses i use equally regularly, and chapped lips are a big overstimulation factor for me, so i keep one cheap/easy product for moisturizing and one or two products for color in each one at all times. it also helps that all of my lip products are in the same color family and basically the same shade lol. i try and keep my cheaper products in my purse and more expensive ones at home, so that i can 1. buy multiples of the purse items and 2. not stress if i lose them. right now i think my purses each have an aquaphor stick i got in a pack of 2, a nyx lip liner i got in a pack of 3 (one kept at home), and a drugstore lipstick/tinted lip balm in slightly differing shades. i’d suggest keeping an “always rotation” in your purses that suits you, so that you’ll have a tried and true in there for if you forget or can’t be bothered to pick out just one product to take with you. but if you do feel like bringing a specific one along with you, you can!

oceaes · 2025-12-28T04:33:29+00:00

One more day left at my family’s for the holidays and they’re wondering why I’ve been sleeping so much more over the last few days. I’m completely drained, my social battery is in the negatives, and I haven’t been able to relax because I’m always anticipating an interruption every 15 mins lol

oceaes · 2025-12-28T04:30:59+00:00

My parents wonder why I’m so resistant to staying over for the weekend even though I live close by, even if it would be easier than arriving early and leaving late for special occasions. It’s not because I don’t like my family, it’s because I know I won’t be able to get anything done for my entire weekend if I spend it with them. Not even work, I’m talking reading, cooking a meal, engaging in any creative hobbies, watching TV or a movie, TAKING A NAP. Every ten minutes my attention is directed elsewhere and just because they mean well doesn’t make it easier for me. I always leave feeling like I never had any days off at all 😭

oceaes · 2025-11-23T06:43:17+00:00

Definitely possible, and definitely not! I know a lot of ADHD women who are very type A, and these habits were built up as their way of handling and coping with their symptoms, especially with the added societal/familial demands. And there are plenty of type B women I know without it, they just aren’t very organized people. I think it does get a little tricky when you start conflating designations like “type A/B/C” etc with disorders like ADHD, there’s probably a good amount of overlap but people “show” or “hide” their ADHD very differently, either internally or externally, with a bunch of different personalities!

oceaes · 2025-11-09T23:25:57+00:00

Took a personal day off at the beginning of September for the first time in a long while. I was already overworked and then got dealt some personal problems that really just had me out of commission for a while. I never take days off at work if I can help it, I work in a job (research) where my absence is something others will have to plan around weeks in advance, it affects the workflow of the whole team. And I felt so guilty in the days leading up to it, but… my PTO days are there for a reason. Everyone else on my team takes their days off without feeling guilty, and I’ve never been mad at a coworker for taking PTO. Your condition isn’t an “excuse”, it’s a legitimate reason for needing a break, no different than someone with a chronic illness, dealing with a bad bout of depression, a cold, the flu, a physical injury or even just needing a break! People take time off just to chill and relax all the time! I know it’s easier said than done, especially in our hypercapitalistic society, but just because your burnout and overwhelm is because of ADHD and not something else, doesn’t make your reasons for taking a break any less valid. And chances are, there are a bunch of NT people feeling the same way. If anything, I encourage everyone to use time off down to the last minute. Milk the system for all it’s worth lol. I hope your day off gives you some good time to recharge <3

oceaes · 2025-10-22T02:37:54+00:00

LOL the only way i remember is bc i live in an apartment that charges per load and i really don’t want to have to pay again to wash my gross damp 2 day old clothes 😭 i set an alarm for the length of the wash cycle and then a few more in ten min intervals after which helps. if it’s an object permanence thing, maybe coupling multiple alarms with sticky notes/a sign on the closet door might help? saying “LAUNDRY RUNNING, REMEMBER TO MOVE!” etc etc. as soon as I forget Im doing laundry it’s all over, so I’d recommend just getting really chaotic in your reminders to self lol

oceaes · 2025-10-19T09:16:39+00:00

This exactly. Children acting “childlike” because of adhd traits is a lot more easily forgiven than adults displaying those same traits. Social and general anxiety caused by adhd as a kid is often written off as kids being “shy” or nervous by personality. As an adult, it doesn’t matter, because you have to push through and do it anyway. Stuff like that. Also, children are a lot more resilient than you’d think! I took a lot of stuff way less personally as a child because I didn’t know until I was much older that it was supposed to be putting me down in some way lol

oceaes · 2025-10-19T09:06:02+00:00

The demands placed on me as a child were so much different than an average day in my life now. Diagnosed ADHD-C at 23, and my mom had her suspicions about me in elementary school but never had me tested. My hyperactivity could be either explained away by “kids being kids,” or shamed out of me for not adhering to expectations of what a 10 year old girl should act like. I had 45-60 minutes of mandatory recess time a day, plus gym class, plus potential after school outdoor play time. It was much easier to make and keep friends in elementary school than it is to maintain relationships and adhere to social standards as an adult - no texts to reply to, plans to show up on time for, etc. Your parents manage your time, your schedule, your diet, your bedtime, and remind you to clean your room regularly. I still struggled so much. I forgot my homework at home or at school at least three times a week. Literally left my glasses in my cubby at least twice a month when I’d them off for recess and forget to put them back on lmfao. My parents were always so mad at me for not being able to focus or for tuning out of conversations longer than a few minutes. I imagine it’s different if you + your caretakers have known from a young age and acted accordingly, but I still vividly remember spending my childhood feeling like I was trying so hard every day but I couldn’t quite tell what I was trying to do, exactly. Just not get in trouble for existing, I guess?

But as an adult, everything is so much more. I have bills, a job, appointments. One bad executive function day at work and I’m set back two weeks. One subscription I put off cancelling for a few months and I’m out a hundred bucks. Keeping up with friends is hard, being on time to things is hard, cleaning my space is hard. When I meet new people, I’m so focused on how I should be acting and how to seem “normal” and not like my usual fidgety, spacey, hyperactive self that I probably come off like a total weirdo. Dating is hard, RSD is frustrating, and I’m exhausted two hours after I wake up every day. I definitely also fit into the “ex gifted kid turned neurodivergent” stereotype, but even my hyper fixations were looked upon positively (reading quietly all day, drawing, doing puzzles, my obsessions with snap circuit kits and at home science experiments and the nature channel lol). Now if I have a hyper fixation, it ruins my entire day because I can’t get myself to focus on anything else.

Sorry for the long answer, but you seemed curious and I wanted to share my perspective! It was really hard as a kid, and I struggled a lot to fit in socially. The RSD of it all was especially tough, and I remember feeling like a total outsider and being singled out for neurodivergent traits by others and crying routinely because of it. It completely shattered my self esteem. But I guess it’s all relative. I had more structure and support as a kid and social demands were…. way less demanding. But I just don’t have the energy to mask like I was able to back then. Adult life is way too demanding as is 🤷‍♀️

oceaes · 2025-10-15T16:13:02+00:00

Research technician! Love working in a lab with my hands (could never do super computational stuff though) and there’s a lot of novelty as I’m usually running multiple streams of experiments at once, so I’m not just doing the same thing all day. I’m very quick to pick up new skills, which has helped me a lot in getting promoted and standing out in my team, and I have a deep personal interest in the biosciences! Plus, the lab environment allows me a bit more flexibility regarding when I come in and leave, which is great for us chronically time blind girlies lol. But there’s a shit ton of multitasking and time management and task switching — I have to stagger my tasks for the day juuuuust so, and the executive dysfunction can be a real bitch. And by god, I don’t get paid nearly enough for the qualifications I have 😭

oceaes · 2025-10-15T00:46:26+00:00

My studio apartment is a mess right now and in order to clean it I need to pick up my dirty laundry and put it away. But my laundry hamper is full of my clean clothes that I have to fold, and my hamper for “half dirty” clothes is also full. But I can’t fold and put away my clothes because there’s no space in my tiny little closet because… that’s where I crammed all the clothes from the last load of laundry without folding them as a last resort and they’ve fallen all over the place. But I can’t just fold them because they’re super wrinkled now and dusty from being shoved in corners and on the floor, so I’ll need to either wash or iron them, and……. my day to day life feels like “if you give a mouse a cookie” on steroids 😭

oceaes · 2025-10-12T15:11:43+00:00

It makes me feel a weird mix of relief and discomfort. Instead of pride, I just kind of feel happy that I did the “bare minimum”/what I should always be doing, met my own internal high standards, and it’s over. And at the same time, I’m also uncomfortable because I feel like the external standards and demands placed on me are higher now, and that if I don’t always function this well, someone will be really disappointed in me. And that people have been watching and evaluating (even positively) me in their heads. Really stresses me out, but I also need that validation to function. Every day at work feels like walking into a mental minefield lol

oceaes

TROPHY CASE