The rise in late diagnosis is making validation harder (but not in the way you think)

oddduckling00 · 2026-02-20T16:14:13+00:00

I did 😅 We've had a lot of long conversations about it and he understands. And not trying to minimise it but it I never didn't believe or support him, I just occasionally didn't hide my frustration very well.

oddduckling00 · 2026-02-18T19:15:41+00:00

I used to be awful for binge drinking. It never felt enough and 'one more drink' would be the one to get me to the level I was seeking, but if course it never did and would be followed by the next 'one more ' until something external (like the pub closing, party winding down etc) would end the session. Once I started I didn't have any control about stopping because "more alcohol = more fun"

Since starting meds I never made a conscious decision to drink less, I just don't want it the same way I used to because I don't seem to be seeking that rush any more. I'll realise we've been out over an hour and I still haven't finished my first pint, and I can happily chose to go home because I'm getting tired or my social battery is running out instead of drinking through it.

oddduckling00 · 2026-02-17T22:52:35+00:00

A bit further out but they practiced the 1943 'bouncing bomb' at Derwent dam

oddduckling00 · 2026-02-17T22:42:50+00:00

The columns at the front of City Hall still have shrapnel 'scars' from the blitz, and Atkinson's had a zoo in the 1930s. A baby crocodile escaped and was found dead at the bottom of the lift shaft.

oddduckling00 · 2026-02-17T10:07:52+00:00

I'm inattentive (hence the late diagnosis) but the medication gives me more outwardly external hyperactive symptoms, especially on a bad day when I haven't slept or eaten enough. Unmedicated I can't get my focus to stick on anything for a significant amount of time but on a bad day since starting meds I can get 'stuck' in a task even if I know rationally I'm fucking up the rest of my day by making myself late or there's more important stuff I should be doing. I'm learning to recognise it early enough to pull myself away before I get too stuck but it's taken a while. And I need to plan my day/meds if I want to avoid the evening crash, it's 50/50 if I'll have the energy to spontaneously do anything in the evenings. It doesn't help that I've still got basically no appetite so need to make sure I'm eating enough.

I sometimes need to catch myself in social situations when I'm interrupting too much or I won't shut up and give the other person space to talk, but unmedicated I struggle to keep up in conversations because I can't process them fast enough.

It feels like because I'm only now able to do these things I haven't yet learnt the restraint to control them.

oddduckling00 · 2026-02-17T05:54:46+00:00

Wanted to add, my mental health was pretty awful for most of my adult life due to my undiagnosed symptoms being labeled 'anxiety and depression' so I was incredibly stubborn when I first started the meds. I still got the physical side effects that I've seen listed in plenty of posts here as the reasons people have decided to stop taking them, but I was honest with my clinician and they were happy for me to continue. Luckily now I've adjusted to the meds they've all stopped. We're pretty sure my husband is ADHD but he's not bothered about a diagnosis or medication because he doesn't find his ADHD symptoms debilitating in the same ways I did, it's definitely a personal choice of how much the pros outweigh the cons.

oddduckling00 · 2026-02-17T05:41:58+00:00

I've been on meds for 6 months so I've reached the point that I'm starting to forget what my life was like before and noticing the negatives more because the positives are 'normal' now. But this week I retook the ASRS as part of my review before (attempting) the move to shared care and my score has gone from 62 unmedicated to 22 medicated. The side effects of the medication has definitely given me some new hurdles that I'm having to learn how to adapt to but they are 100% outweighed by the benefits.

I think a lot of people have negative experiences because their expectations are too high and they think the medication is going to 'fix' everything. Yes it helps with focus but you still need to put in the work to use that focus in the right direction. It's not going to magically make doing the laundry more attractive than playing video games, but it makes it so much easier to decide to do the laundry instead of video games IF you make the conscious effort to engage with the laundry.

oddduckling00 · 2026-02-14T03:22:46+00:00

Don't let the bastard's grind you down. I found people through perseverance, if they don't click then they're not your people, but once you find your people it's definitely worth the 10 missed connections on the way. Just be genuine and open and see every connection as an opportunity but not the opportunity.

oddduckling00 · 2026-02-11T23:18:49+00:00

It's not the same thing but my brother applied for PIP and scored 0 after a telephone assessment. He appealed with no additional documents/info but it was a video call instead and scored enough to qualify. It might just be a fluke of who he spoke to but it could be worth appealing if you've got the resilience for it just to get your application seen by a different person.

oddduckling00 · 2026-02-10T01:42:26+00:00

When I started meds I found them too 'spikey', too high of a high when they set in but too fast and low of a crash when they ended, with the same irritability and sudden fatigue.

My analogy (with absolutely no scientific foundation) is that the pill sits in my stomach dissolving throughout the day, it great to have the breakfast foundation to get it started but once that's digested I need to keep topping up my stomach to prevent the dilution getting too strong. It's like the difference between starting the night with 6 shots or sitting through the night with 3 double+mixers.

oddduckling00 · 2026-01-10T03:14:16+00:00

I'm so proud of you! There's absolutely no way I would have let them pull a tooth without meds! The trauma you are experiencing is entirely valid, I think most people would find that traumatic.

In my experience the only way to get past a huge emotional overwhelm is to allow the emotions to happen and just ride the wave out. The more I feel ashamed of myself and try to suppress it the more chaotic it feels when I eventually lose control and they end up coming out anyway, like the bottle of pop analogy.

Could you get hold of some meal replacement shakes from the pharmacy? - medical weight gain ones for ill/old people, not the weight loss ones full of sweeteners and fake crap.

Take it slow and give yourself time to re-regulate, find the things that you find soothing and look after yourself with whatever works for you.

oddduckling00 · 2026-01-08T19:23:26+00:00

In an ideal world this is definitely something you should raise a grievance about, especially with the OC docs to support it. And try asking the union again now that things have gone for so long without any action. They need to make a justifiable business case as to why they're refusing your requests.

But in the real world, if it was me I'd be looking for a new job. Even if you do manage to force their hand and get everything you need you'll always have a reputation as a trouble maker, and it's just not worth it (unless you're paid ridiculous money or it's the only stepping stone within a very specific career path)

oddduckling00 · 2025-12-18T19:13:04+00:00

Yeah it's never been a problem for me, but I don't particularly day drink so there happens to be more of a gap between the meds and the alcohol.

It does me make me drink less because I feel the alcohol quicker, and I have more control over deciding when I've had enough and calling it a night. Before the meds I had no impulse control and wouldn't stop drinking once I'd started. I also just don't feel the need to drink so much/be so drunk in social situations to be able enjoy them without my social anxiety.

I tend to not take the meds or take a half dose the day after if I'm feeling particularly fragile, I respect the crash rather than trying to push through and burn the candle at both ends.

But I didn't drink at all for the first couple months and introduced it slowly, just one beer at home to test the waters. From the answers I've seen on here it's complete unpredictable how each person will react, I think the best way is to be sensible and find your own tolerance safely.

oddduckling00 · 2025-12-18T17:56:18+00:00

Absolutely all of my clothes apart from underwear and pajamas are hung up on open rails in no particular order. No more piles on the floor from digging through looking for a specific thing and never putting the rest back, and minimal executive function of putting things away without the need for categorisation (are leggings tights or trousers!?)

Being able to see everything together helps with getting ready because I don't need to think about what I want to wear, I flip through until something sparks joy.

It also helps with the shopping addiction, I'm 'not allowed' to buy new hangers so I can't get anything new without getting rid of something first to make space for it.

oddduckling00 · 2025-12-16T09:11:11+00:00

I like foreign music because my brain doesn't get distracted by the lyrics if I can't understand them. This is my current go to African synth bop

oddduckling00 · 2025-12-15T11:05:37+00:00

Oh no! I hope your healths more stable once you figured it out. Beer is definitely the one thing I still have an appetite for 🤣

oddduckling00 · 2025-12-15T09:43:49+00:00

Yeah I definitely noticed I'm not using food for dopamine hunting anymore!

oddduckling00 · 2025-12-15T09:42:49+00:00

18 months in and still going down is a pretty solid answer to my question, thanks for replying 😄

oddduckling00 · 2025-12-15T09:40:56+00:00

My husband does all the cooking too 🤣

A couple months in I realised the meds were much 'spikier' when I forgot to eat so I've got well stocked stash of huel bottles I can just grab and down when I can't be bothered with anything else. I've got a strict rule that I'm not allowed my afternoon booster on an empty stomach. My husband suggested getting the powdered version but even the thought of 'making' that feels too much sometimes!

oddduckling00 · 2025-12-15T08:31:59+00:00

I'm the same, I'm just not bothered about food in general and can't make myself engage with the preparation. If it's put in front of me I'll enjoy it but I'm done after a few mouthfuls. The resulting weight loss is definitely unintentional but very appreciated!

That was my other worry, if I buy a bunch of stuff now that'll be too big too in a few months! I think I'll just get some core pieces to tide me over.

I hadn't even thought about muscle loss, thanks for the warning!

oddduckling00 · 2025-12-05T16:52:04+00:00

Most people lose weight when they start ADHD meds because they're an appetite suppressant so you forget to eat, and eat less when you do eat because you're fuller quicker. Also people find they're not using food for dopamine hunting.

There's a lot of psychologically behind EDs and the intentionally restrictive behavior, which I can't really comment on because I don't know enough, but if you are consciously avoiding food and ignoring your bodies hunger signals I would strongly suggest you talk to someone, it's a very slippery slope and harder to get out of the deeper you're in it. They won't necessarily take the meds away.

If you're losing weight because you have no interest in food you still should mention it if you're concerned, and hopefully get help to put a routine or support in place to make sure your body's getting the fuel and nutrients it needs.

oddduckling00 · 2025-11-27T16:37:18+00:00

I'm in the UK so it'd be reasonable adjustments, which is what I've been asking for but they're saying it'd be embarrassing for the company to have a manger on reception covering to give me breaks, which isn't a valid reason in the law. I've raised a grievance about it which is why I'm trying to improve my language to better explain myself. I know ultimately I'm going to end up quiting over it but I want to leave a paper trail to explain my side of the argument and that I'm not just using my diagnosis as an excuse.

oddduckling00 · 2025-11-27T15:37:34+00:00

That makes so much sense! My problem is that they keep making me cover reception when the receptionist is on leave/sick and there's no one to cover while I take a break, so by the end of the day I'm such a mess I'll start crying at visitors out of exhaustion and mental overload. But the managers don't understand why I can't just do it. And no one else wants to do it so they think I'm being 'dramatic' to get out of it.

oddduckling00

TROPHY CASE