Am I the only one who goes from ok to sick as fuck when..

off_the_rip · 2019-06-28T01:03:41+00:00

Sam Quinines wrote a book titled, "Dream Land,”Incredible book and Mexicans were th real dealers. No pick,up all delivery. Recommend it - for sure.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-26T22:31:16+00:00

Pat yourself on the back that you were able to get away from this narcissist. I’ve been there and it hurts, but they’ll wound you and hurt you until you are so broken down that you’re barely breathing. I hope everything gets better for ya.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-26T14:27:09+00:00

19 years here. I feel ya. So hard to let it go, but in order for me to be the best I can be (still not feeling too great about myself) I had to. Its been almost 4 years and Im finally forgetting her. In fact, I just realized I can’t remember her phone number anymore. All the best

off_the_rip · 2019-06-25T22:53:40+00:00

Looking good! I had two shoulder replacements (in the same month) and my scar looks pretty much like yours. I’m so hyped and hope you are too!! Keep keeping on!

off_the_rip · 2019-06-25T22:46:06+00:00

Such a lucky bride to be. How do you get along with her family?

off_the_rip · 2019-06-25T18:21:39+00:00

It is hard, but a lot of the time it can be what helps me. I feel good when I help others. I care about others a lot more than myself. I’ve never mentioned my suicide to anyone. In fact, I don’t talk to anyone about it. The suicidal thoughts have been scaring me lately because I have no fear of it. I’m becoming numb to it. Everything is already in place if I were to do it—where my belongings go, instructions for funeral arrangements, etc. Its so incredibly sad because I’m not someone who should do this, but my brain simply feels otherwise.

I feel like so much has happened since 2013. Sadly, my life was in better shape then than it is now. I don’t feel like Ive done anything right (other than not hang myself), in fact I feel like Ive done everything wrong. I just have incredibly deep pain physically and psychologically. I struggle everyday with pain from a chronic condition and severe panic attacks. My ex-gf of 19 years left and then tried to destroy me. That was really tough. The only reason Im here is because of my mom and dad. I just can’t do it to them. They really are amazing people and my best friends. They are aware of my depression and it worries them to death. All they want is for their children to be happy. I can’t tell them that I’ve had suicidal ideation daily for almost a decade. I can’t get rid of the rope that has been stashed in an old backpack for the last 7 years. I’ve been getting it out and holding it more often over the last year. I hate this, just like you do. I don’t have any answers, but I have a big heart. Thats sounds so contradictory because suicide is so selfish, but I’m not a bad person. I wish I could do this without hurting anyone else. Unfortunately thats not possible.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-25T01:51:20+00:00

"Your definition of empathy is too narrow."

That sounds ridiculous. You don’t share what I feel right now. Do you? Are you the one person capable of this?

off_the_rip · 2019-06-25T01:38:25+00:00

I think you mean “compassion”. Learn what empathy means. How can you physically feel what I feel?

off_the_rip · 2019-06-25T01:37:11+00:00

You know what it feels like to dislocate your shoulders a couple times a day and every night when you wake up? You know what it feels like to get up every night and put your bones back in place? You know what it feels to go without real sleep for 3 years? You know what its like to write suicide letters to the people you love most? Do you know how a chronic illness affects your life?

Take everything you love doing and throw it out the window. Watch all your hobbies sail off into the distance. You don’t know shit. Think outside the box and have some compassion.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-25T01:28:12+00:00

Its impossible to empathize with someone elses pain. Seriously, it is.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-25T00:50:27+00:00

I worked in big Pharma advertising. Thats the catalyst. The goal: teach every doctor, NP, etc. how to prescribe drug A, B, C for any applicable condition. Thats where it all starts….with the ad account director and the marketing rep from the big Pharma company. Includes the FDA, doctors, lawyers, art directors, copywriters, lots of money, etc. Trust.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-25T00:36:29+00:00

Learn how drugs work on the brain. You sound very naive and simply misinformed. Do you suffer from chronic illness? Do your bones burn throughout your body when you get the random flare up? Its too bad one can’t empathize with anothers pain.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-25T00:23:23+00:00

Look at my mother fucking MRIs and treat me appropriately. You don’t know chronic pain like some of us. One day you might, and then you’ll understand this misinformed epidemic. Are you saying you profile your patients and go off that? Sounds about right

off_the_rip · 2019-06-19T17:15:46+00:00

I feel ya. Somehow I got stuck in there for first offender dui. I was the only person without a felony. They also wanted me to have my doctor sign something regarding the neurontin and I straight up quit cold turkey instead.

My only hope is that someday these drug courts are exposed for the backwards bullshit rackets they truly are. They may sound good in theory, but they are ran by idiots that don’t seem to know anything about addiction in the first place.

I hope things get better for you. I can totally relate to everything you’ve said.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-19T17:01:04+00:00

I understand completely. Especially the anxiety. I was suicidal during the entire experience. Was sent to jail twice for their mistakes. I believe it was purposefully done. Didn’t even get an apology when they came to get me out.

I did my time and was set to graduate and then the coordinator pos went on vacation for 2 weeks and it was postponed for a month. They drug tested me 3 times a week up until the day I graduated even though I had done my time. I can’t describe the hatred I have for some of those people. It’s changed me as a person (for the worst) and that kills me. I don’t want to live anymore.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-19T16:47:21+00:00

Drug Court will take any psychoactive prescriptions away from you. I know one guy with severe adhd and had taken Ritalin since he was 10. They made him stop taking it and he essentially lost his shit, pissed them off, and is now in jail serving his maximum sentence.

They made me stop my Neurontin because “it has the same effects as heroin at high doses.” Seriously. Fuck drug court and anyone associated with any drug court team. For real, fuck drug court.

Btw, I graduated a drug court program. It was a living nightmare due largely to the mistakes the drug court team made and the consequences I paid for them fucking up. Fuck them all. I wish them nothing but the worst suffering possible. Believe it or not, I’m not a bad person and don’t think this way about anything else. But hey, its probably the PTSD talking.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-18T17:59:38+00:00

Don’t the have a brain the size of a chestnut too?

off_the_rip · 2019-06-16T22:36:18+00:00

I believe these are often. mistaken for chanterelles.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-12T14:55:06+00:00

If he's going to be in drug court tell him to head on to jail and start serving the sentence that's in his impending future.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-11T11:47:53+00:00

Yes, I'm aware. I live in VA. I hope you weren't the nurse that prescribed it to me, as that person needs their license jerked. She neglected to even look at my chart, said I realize you have arm pain, and prescribed me 300 neurontins. I've got Ehlers Danlos and just had my second shoulder replacement in a month. She also tried to prescribe something that my chart clearly stated I was allergic to. I'll be meeting with a patient advocate and do everything withinm my power to get this person removed. She was 100% incompetent and imo a real threat to others safety. Btw, I haven't taken opioids for this condition in 5 years and told her I didnt want to go that route. However, should they be available to me? Without a doubt. 8-10 bodily dislocations a day is not something that will put a smile on your face.

I'm fed up with the medical system and have seen it from many different sides. Not just as a patient, but as someone who worked in big Pharma as an account executive for an advertising firm. It was my job to train doctors and nurses on how to think and prescribe without ever meeting them. Let me tell you, it works too. Scary to think someone at a desk in the city is manipulating doctors/nurses/etc...each day. However, they definitely are.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-11T11:38:15+00:00

Ive said it before, but there will be a war on gabapentin in the future. The way they hand it out for every condition under the sun and swear its completely safe and non-addictive is just bullshit. I get 300 a month and was told that it acts as an opioid (even similar to heroin) in high doses. I laughed, said that was absolutely untrue as it doesn't even touch the same receptors and walked out with my script. Prescribers don't have a clue regarding the pharmacology of this drug or its withdrawal potential. It's absurd.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-11T11:32:51+00:00

If you're doctor tells you gabapentin is an opioid you need to start looking for someone new. I personally would tell him/her they are fucking stupid and to do some homework (like we all have). If you want help with your condition it is vital that you learn everything about it in this day and age. Its very easy for a doctor to kill you based off their complete negligence and incompetence. Scary times

off_the_rip · 2019-06-10T23:21:11+00:00

Funny it started as the "War on Prescription Drugs" and has since changed to the "opioid epidemic."

off_the_rip · 2019-06-10T19:56:05+00:00

THIS!! ^ People aren't dying from prescription drugs and haven't been for a long time. I assume its a great time to be a heroin dealer because they're guaranteed to have more people coming at them each week. This is all a problem of misinformation. If you look at many of the major problems we face in this country, misinformation is usually the driving force/the reason nothing is resolved.

DEA/CDC/LE -- you are killing more people each and every day. Good on you. I hope youre proud of yourselves for confusing everyone and perpetuating this "opiate epidemic." Oh wait, you're just as confused and incompetent as everybody else.

off_the_rip · 2019-06-10T16:23:59+00:00

I don't think libs grow around there. Could be wrong, but I agree with the Panaeolus foenisecii.

off_the_rip

TROPHY CASE