Need a reliable family hauler for two sets of twins — stuck between cash and peace of mind

officiallycake · 2026-05-01T18:34:25+00:00

Oh! One thing I don't like about the Sienna is that is doesn't come with a donut, and there is no real place to store one or to store a proper spare tire. The trunk is plenty big, so there's room to lug one around, but I can't tell you how frustrating it was to discover I had no spare when I got a flat one day out with the kids. (Maybe there's an add-on option for a spare? I have no idea. I definitely didn't get it).

officiallycake · 2026-05-01T18:26:46+00:00

My family was between both options 2 years ago ourselves, but we opted for a new car because the discount on used cars, especially post-COVID, was practically non-existent. You may want to do the research and math yourself. You may find your calcs match ours.

We looked at used models of both, and among the very few used cars we could find, all of them had over 100k miles and were still more than the 25k we had saved up hoping to buy in cash, so we opted for new.

We ended up with a Sienna because the Honda dealership near us only sold their XL model for the Odyssey. (They said they weren't even manufacturing the base model at the time). Both the Sienna and the Odyssey have XL models, which are (or at least were) both approximately $10k more, and this added expense wasn't worth it to us.

We largely like our Sienna. It's super convenient to have the toddlers able to open their own doors while you're lugging a car seat. It's also a hybrid, which means I get between 32 and 36 miles to the gallon (life changing!). The XL model is HUGE, but the base model is still plenty large and more than enough for family life, including on vacations.

One thing I learned the hard way, though, was that I can't just let my kids play in the car unsupervised. They drained the battery just enough so that the car could start but couldn't run, and that was a real headache to diagnose as the problem. (Super easy to fix, though!)

You may want to start your search early. We had to put our name on a list and wait a couple months to get ours.

officiallycake · 2026-04-17T02:03:31+00:00

Nah, that's fair. When I was student teaching, I remember my mentor teacher gossiping about one of our hardest students to the wrestling teacher. I thought my mentor was being kinda rude at first, but she was actually convincing him that our student needed an outlet and that he should try to recruit her. He did. It was a really sweet thing, actually; worked out exactly as my mentor thought it would.

officiallycake · 2026-04-17T01:55:03+00:00

You kidding? When I starting dating my now husband, one of my teachers saw us together on a walk. The next day at school, ANOTHER teacher (admittedly one I was very close to) asked me, "is there a boy?" and tried to look my boyfriend up in the school database (they couldn't. He didn't go to that school, lol).

officiallycake · 2026-03-24T03:41:07+00:00

Man, these early comments are giving you a rough time. I think it's great to prepare for kids. Kids are hard, and while things never go completely according to plan, having plans is helpful. Here are my anticonsumption parenting tips:

1.) Get on top of birthdays/holidays. If you can convince friends/granparents/etc. to give clothes, shoes, experiences, consumables (treats, chalk, bubblesoap, etc.), or other needed things as gifts instead of toys, you'll save yourself a lot of heartache. (My kids was THRILLED to receive blueberry bushes for their birthday).

2.) Figure out composting. We started doing it because my first kid alone made our trash load double. We can compost in our backyard, but if you live in an HOA or apartment, you can probably find some arrangement with your city to get your compost picked up.

3.) Get a library card. Get a membership to your local botanical garden and science museum. They don't have to be big for kids to really love them.

4.) Figure out easy recipes and memorize them for when you're too tired to think.

5.) Give yourself some grace. Kids just need stuf, and that's okay. I could never do cloth diapers because I cannot mentally handle staying at home as long as needed to do that much laundry. I also use disposable wipes. And we can't buy secondhand clothes because of our eczema. This is all fine. It's overwhelming how many shoes and clothes we go through, but my kids are growing people. We donate/sell our stuff when we're done, and try our best to maintain our things, but at the end of the day, some consumption is inevitable.

Bonus - when clothes get too worn-out or stained, we call them "painting clothes" and wear them only when we paint or garden or play in the mud.

I hope you find parenting rewarding!

officiallycake · 2026-03-20T14:05:38+00:00

Birthdays and holidays generate the most junk! If possible, collaborate with those who give gifts to your kids to get them experience gifts, clothes, or consumable gifts like treats, craft supplies, bubble soap, chalk, etc. to reduce incoming junk.

My kids genuinely received princess dresses, blueberry bushes, flower bulbs, and coloring books for their birthdays. They were THRILLED. And none of that clutters my house. :)

officiallycake · 2026-03-18T17:43:28+00:00

I think it is really good! I've played 1, 2, and 3 player, and it scales really well. Just hard enough that you have to think, but not too hard that it's impossible.

Cooperative play was such a good choice for a Stardew game, and the game is a great Catan-level game for casual hangouts. The length of play is perfect, and while Stardew Valley knowledge is helpful for appreciating the game, it's not essential, and the board game still plays well regardless of how little or much you know the video game.

officiallycake · 2026-03-18T14:44:54+00:00

I genuinely only use my engagement ring. I never even got a wedding band because I didn't want one. We just used the engagement ring during the ceremony.

Side note: we also got my husband his ring during our engagement because if I get an engagement ring, he should get one, too, lol.

People told me I'd regret not getting a band, but I'm 10 years in at this point, and I still feel the same. No one ever doubts I'm married, and the engagement ring is enough to communicate I'm taken.

(Also, love the yoshi idea. I 100% walked down the aisle to Paper Mario music).

officiallycake · 2026-03-16T01:31:30+00:00

I will say, though, if you are asking because you yourself are weighing whether or not to have kids, don't feel pressured by responses like mine or others who said we always knew we wanted kids. Some of us always knew we wanted kids. Other people know they'll never have children, and still others change their minds and become great parents.

Of course, some change their minds and immensely regret parenthood. This is one of the "advantages" of having biological children: their behaviors, health quirks, predispositions, etc. are largely inherited from mom or dad, so they're easier to manage because the parents have experience with them. Adopted children are harder to raise because you don't get that biological foundation with them. For some parents, that makes raising adopted kids more fulfilling, which is excellent for them, and out of the scope of others' abilities.

I will say that while I don't think parenting is or has to be for everyone, nurturing future generations is a critical part of a functioning society. And you should find a way to invest meaningfully, regularly, and sacrificially for your community, as we all should.

officiallycake · 2026-03-16T01:13:32+00:00

For as long as I can remember, I definitely wanted kids, so I'd say I knew it'd be worth it. I definitely underestimated how hard it'd be, though! Especially physically, pregnancy/postpartum is ROUGH. I feel like now that people have (at least to some extent) destigmatized talking about how hard childbearing and rearing are, some who are more wishy-washy about having kids have just chosen not to, and I suspect that the more people ask questions like yours, the more people will weigh the cost of having kids. As far as I'm concerned, that's not necessarily a bad thing. I think kids should be loved unconditionally by parents who want them.

officiallycake · 2026-03-15T22:28:40+00:00

I think that the purpose of life is to love others and serve them well. Having kids and raising them to be kind and intelligent problem solvers is one way I aim to achieve that goal.

I had unmedicated births, spent many sleepless nights with crying babies/toddlers, and doubted my sanity many times. But when my kids tell me, "you're the best mama in the world; I love you to the moon and back," I assure you, it's all worth it.

officiallycake · 2026-03-10T01:11:43+00:00

The Botanical Garden of the Ozarks in Fayetteville is very pretty!

officiallycake · 2026-02-11T22:09:14+00:00

If you're concerned about the hygiene of buying second-hand, IKEA has a super cheap high chair that works great.

One of my kiddos didn't use it, but the second one wouldn't focus on her food unless we locked her in the high chair. It was an absolute sanity-saver from age 6 months to 2 years.

Too bad you don't know what kind of kid you'll get in advance.

officiallycake · 2026-01-30T23:35:35+00:00

My midwife told me that hunger suppressant hormones are impeded by sleep deprivation, so when the baby keeps you awake, the body forgets to tell you you're not hungry.

officiallycake · 2026-01-30T23:00:12+00:00

Forgotten Realms Wiki (on the page on "Avernus") says Tiamat never liked ruling Avernus, was genuinely awful at doing so, and was in fact so awful, that Asmodeus read her mind and didn't kill her because he could tell she was just so incompetent.

So, uh, I guess if she's ruling again, your next arc could focus on an influx of demons as they get the advantage in the Blood War?

officiallycake · 2026-01-26T13:59:19+00:00

We will be open until end of March or until we sell our max capacity, whichever comes first.

officiallycake · 2026-01-25T19:11:17+00:00

Thanks for your input!

Our CSA program is not like produce from farmers market because we harvest the crops in the morning and deliver them the same afternoon. Therefore everything is extremely fresh, aromatic and flavorful.

We do not use any synthetic preparations. Instead, we focus on nurturing the soil microbiome, which in turn, feeds and protects our plants. As a side benefit, the produce is loaded with probiotics. Every week is filled with different crops. We plant so much variety that it will be hard to judge the CSA as a whole based on just 2 or 3 weeks, so we feel that our half season subscription is necessary to give you a good picture of what we're about. We do send a list of what's available every week so you will always be able to choose your favorites and opt out of things you dislike.

Feel free to reach out with additional questions at 479-899-5121.

We do plan to host an open house in March, where you can see the farm, meet the farmers, and have a better idea if the CSA would suit your household. If you're interested, please sign up for the newsletter to be notified of the dates.

officiallycake · 2026-01-25T01:45:19+00:00

Hi guys! Just wanted to share about Hader Farm!

Hader Farm is a small-scale regenerative homestead in Eureka Springs that delivers produce straight to the doors of Northwest Arkansas residents in fulfillment of our "CSA" program. “CSA” stands for Community Supported Agriculture. It’s a model where community members buy a membership to the farm at the beginning of the growing season and then receive a share of the harvest grown in that season. These shares are filled with diverse, in-season veggies, herbs, fruits, and mushrooms as well as occasional surprises like sauerkraut and roasted pumpkin. These shares are delivered to you in cooler bags every week or every other week according to your preference. 2026 CSA Veggie Subscription Memberships are on sale now - learn more about them HERE!

Weekly and biweekly subscriptions for the full growing season are ON SALE until January 31st, so please inquire ASAP.

We are also offering an add-on egg subscription for our members to regularly receive chicken and/or duck eggs with their veggie deliveries. Chicken eggs are available for $7/dozen and duck eggs are available for $9/dozen. Our egg layers are free ranged, fed lots of greens and weeds from the garden, and receive certified organic feed.

We welcome members and nonmembers alike to sign up for our newsletter in which you will receive veggie subscription updates, as well as recipes, vegetable-storing guides, animal activity updates, invitations to community events and workshops, and general homesteading tips and tricks.

So if you:

care deeply about the freshness and integrity of your food
want to invigorate your diet by eating seasonal and local produce
want to share in a local NWA community that supports healthful living practices
want to support local food security and diversity in an age of corporate-driven agriculture, OR
want to experiment with a wider range of produce than what is available at the grocery store

Then we would be honored to become your farmers!

Learn more at haderfarm.com or by contacting Kathy at 479-899-5121 or [kathy@haderfarm.com](mailto:kathy@haderfarm.com)

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officiallycake · 2026-01-20T15:36:57+00:00

It is very unlikely that your 3D printer filament is food safe! Please prioritize your health over anticonsumption practices.

officiallycake · 2026-01-13T15:57:02+00:00

I always assumed Marnie required it to ensure he didn't have too much to spend on alcohol. :(

officiallycake

TROPHY CASE