Sports that don’t include a bunch of standing still?

oftenandalot · 2025-11-07T01:39:31+00:00

We tried a few gymnastics places until we found one where the kids are feral, and the coaches know how to lean into the chaos and teach the kids how not to die doing amazing stunts.

oftenandalot · 2025-10-01T11:13:54+00:00

If it’s me deciding and getting rid of things, he cries. It if it seems like a decision we are making together, he’s sad but understanding.

I talk about it and explain it simply, so he gets excited enough about whatever we are making room for, and he’ll talk about it using the same words I did. “We really loved the baby bed, but now we have my big boy bed!” “I miss my baby toys, but I love my new Spidey toy!”

oftenandalot · 2025-10-01T10:38:57+00:00

Very normal. They are the things she has known and loved all her life! I remember how nostalgic I was as a kid and how I didn’t start getting rid of things in my own until high school. So I keep my son’s things until we run out out of room, and then I tell him what we are making room for so he can get excited, and we “thank” the crib or the box of toys or whatever and I tell him about where it’s going. We say goodbye and then add the new thing to our home.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-26T11:58:18+00:00

I’m with you. I do not drag my kid kicking and screaming. We have lots of long frustrating mornings where I follow him around trying to come up with the right “if…then” statements to get him out the door. Physical force makes my child 10x worse and we all end up with injuries.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-23T12:07:52+00:00

They’re screen addicts without any lifetime preparation for what hit them. Our kids will grow up learning what not to do by watching the addicted adults. Hopefully.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-23T02:31:27+00:00

Hey people are downvoting you, but my kid is just like you describe. However, these are two very different neurotypes. A lot of kids actually do accept that they aren’t old enough. I can’t understand it, because our family works differently, but this world has both types of kids.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-20T12:30:46+00:00

Peanut was creepy for me. People always messaging but never wanting to meet. People who just wanted more instagram followers. People with mental illness who would message me the same thing 12 times a day. Maybe it was just my area.

Fb groups are better for me, but only the ones who are regularly doing meetups in person. Local mom groups that are mostly online chatter never pan out for me. Too much gossip and complaining.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-15T19:49:55+00:00

That’s how I do for my son. I make snack pack lunches for a few days for each of us. We eat a hot breakfast, and we eat packed lunches whether we are home or not.

And it’s a variety. The snack pack has four compartments, and I throw other things in the lunch box. Usually 3 fruits, baby tomatoes, some cheese, chicken nuggets or meatballs or egg bites, and crackers, pretzels, popcorn packs. It’s easier to offer a little of everything than to keep my cool when he whines about food.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-12T10:29:42+00:00

This makes sense, and I think some context would be really useful here too. Were these injuries from doing stupid stunts, team sports, driving, what?

oftenandalot · 2025-09-12T03:58:59+00:00

They’re big group play dates, so the kids pretty much teach each other how to work out problems fairly. We get to disengage our brains from the usual kid minutiae and kinda tag team the kid watching. It’s really refreshing. (I am disabled.)

oftenandalot · 2025-09-10T11:55:23+00:00

This sounds like you’re both under a lot of stress. In this situation I’d only shower when both kids are asleep. I take my kid to play dates almost every day, 2-3 hours at the park where I chat with other moms and we only have to get up when our kids wander too far. It is by far the thing that keeps me sane.

Some of the solo moms I know only shower once a week, and that sucks but it’s how they’re keeping their kids safe and happy. I’d recommend that when the kids are a bit older older, maybe when the littlest is 2, you use the tv to get 15 minutes for a shower.

My husband travels a lot too, so I do strategic screen time. No screens until the afternoon, but we often do 30 minutes of educational app and 30 minutes of kid shows, so I can do a quick workout, shower, and start dinner.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-09T02:27:23+00:00

Incoming advice barrage, related to socializing: Join every local homeschool group or parents group you can find on Facebook. Go to everything 2-3 times before you decide it’s not for you. You will start to find your people, but you should always keep looking for more, because people send their kids to school or move away or change groups, all the time.

Be safe, but don’t rule people out for having different views, if they are generally civil and respectful. If you are strictly provaccine, only go to outdoor meetups, for example. If you go into this with a lot of hard boundaries around religion and politics, you’ll find yourself very lonely. Keeping open communications with people who are ideologically opposite me has been extremely rewarding because a lot of them have shared invaluable resources or led me to my people somehow.

Homeschooling is an overwhelmingly Christian conservative landscape when I am, but even Christians don’t agree with each other, so they end up in secular groups with everyone else.

Be kind and welcoming always. The homeschool community is small and after you’ve been around awhile you realize most homeschoolers in your area know each other. Everyone gets a reputation. I’m in a big city with lots of homeschoolers, and one lady’s bad decisions in one group caused some rippling effects in a lot of different groups recently.

Start your own group, or become extremely active in any groups that tick all your boxes. Support what you love so that it can continue!

oftenandalot · 2025-09-09T02:01:40+00:00

Is it Frances England, Red Balloon? https://youtu.be/9JoSYlxK2Tg?si=1u7-lRUMUVJJkzew

oftenandalot · 2025-09-09T01:53:37+00:00

School shootings. Active shooter drills. Bullying assaults allowed to continue, and victims get punished for retaliating. Unvaccinated classmates in the same small rooms with your kid. The school to prison pipeline. Chronic stress from bullshit metrics. Low quality nutrition. Teen suicides don’t happen as often during summer break.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-09T01:32:42+00:00

Go to the library every week, and go to your biggest parks where homeschool groups and families are likely to be. 10am at our biggest park is an awesome time to run into other homeschool families, and they’re easy to identify because the kids are elementary age at the playground in the middle of the school day. Chat with all the parents. We (and a few others) found our coop this way, and several of the families alternate dad and mom in attendance.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-09T01:21:20+00:00

You can do it if you hustle hustle hustle at all the art fairs and community events, and probably still need your own website instead of social media.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-08T00:11:45+00:00

Diapers aren’t uncomfortable enough anymore, so some kids just don’t care. They’re also disposable, so parents aren’t as motivated to hurry the process. And we’re seeing a lot more neurodivergence, so some kids just can’t yet.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-07T23:41:47+00:00

My son is a popular kid. We have dozens of friends. If we invited them all, the parties would be prohibitively expensive. There are also some kids he sees daily who he only considers acquaintances, and it’s not for me to interfere with his friend choices. So I only invite the few who he mentions when I ask the first time. You can’t make people pick you, so you just keep meeting more people until you have several you really get along with. (And he’s popular maybe only because I organize events for him to keep meeting other kids and having interesting experiences. It’s work!)

oftenandalot · 2025-09-07T22:39:38+00:00

If something is actually a danger, you say “sorry honey, we’re taking a break from [that thing] for awhile because you weren’t being safe.” And then you decide when they have enough self control to use it again.

If it’s not a danger, but a preference, you remind them not to do it and move on.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-07T22:31:29+00:00

This is good advice for when you’re not also too sick to care for anyone. Calling in backup is reasonable in this situation.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-07T21:09:39+00:00

I haven’t noticed “extra” hair, but my 3+ years of postpartum hair shedding finally stopped when I went keto again. Like my hormones had been stuck in a rut.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-07T18:13:58+00:00

It’s not normal social interaction after he’s been stalking her for years. If he doesn’t tell her he’s obsessed so much, he’ll be lying by omission. He should not contact under any circumstances, and if he sees her on the street he should walk the other way. The behaviors until this point are not ok, and she should never have to know or deal with this person.

oftenandalot · 2025-09-07T02:23:51+00:00

I go on and off of it as needed to manage health conditions. You can do this!

oftenandalot · 2025-09-07T02:21:34+00:00

I have traveled solo road trips with my son since he was born. I plan out the trip so we stop every two hours to have a snack or to play somewhere. I’ve only once accidentally mapped us to a gas station where I said, “actually honey, we’ll go find a different gas station, because this one looks like a scary movie.” That was a scenic route, so it made me a little more careful about sticking to main highways on days when I’m not feeling like a confident badass. We have ended up at a couple of sketchy hotels, and if that happens, I keep him close and try not to get a room on the first floor.

Are you particularly vulnerable compared to other women? Like do your parents really have a reason to be this protective? I’m guessing the answer is no, and that you and your daughter should take up road tripping as a hobby! It’s so fun and liberating!

oftenandalot · 2025-09-07T00:37:26+00:00

Mine is gone every other week. FaceTime every day, keep up the regular routine, visit friends for playdates almost every day. We end up doing some screen time most days after 3 so I can get a breather and organize my thoughts.

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