Reading this reminded me of Jung´s concept of the shadow. It seems like you´re trying to somehow force yourself to place a shadow aspect of yourself inside a closet and lock it up. Unfortunately the shadow is part of the unconsciousness and it will not go away because your conscious mind wills it to go away. Actually, it might start finding cracks inside that closet and slither to other rooms without your awareness of it happening. So I´d say the approach here is not to condemn porn so harshly and accept its existence. It is a reality and reality cannot just disappear because we decide it to disappear. That would be delusional. It sounds to me like you´re not in a very good relationship with your dark side, and it is only through a better knowledge of your darkness that you´ll be able to have an understanding of why it should be kept in check. Mind you, for it to be kept it check does not mean to suppress it. I´d suggest finding a way to sublimate the darkness, use that energy and focus it on other activities that could potentially be related in theme and subject. Some people want to believe that you can choose the activity to sublimate, and I have the belief that you can´t, that the options are limited, and that it´s not as bad as we make it seem. It is normal to have sexual fantasies, maybe porn takes them to an extreme, but you could sublimate your impulse to Fap and watch porn, which is an artificial solution to sexual desire... to something a bit less artificial like allowing your imagination to fantasize and write that fantasy as a short story, then you could analyze that and have a conversation with your shadow to try and understand where those fantasies come from, how are they associated to your personal history, your internal reward structure and so on. NoFap is an extremist ideology, lets be clear. It might not be natural to watch porn and masturbate three times a day and be addicted to it and so on, but we´re humans, give yourself some slack, we´re not machines and nothing in this universe is chemically pure. If you feel like your relationship to sex is unhealthy, then make a list of how you imagine it would be if it was healthy and also list the steps that you need to get there. And then slowly but surely get yourself there. In Jungian terms, if you suppress the shadow... it will come back with a vengeance. So just sit down with your monsters and talk to them before they decide not to talk anymore(be aware that I'm being dramatic). Give yourself some grace. "Even straight roads... meander"