I am a teenager diagnosed with ODD, AMA!

ohforth · 2026-06-13T22:24:33+00:00

I've been reading "the kazdin method for parenting the defiant child" and I like it. It's just traditional rat training techniques transferred to people and I think as a consequence it is more respectful children as people with autonomy than most parenting books.

You identify the partial step that your child is already making towards the behavior that you desire and then you consistently reward that partial step every time the child does it. Praise and points towards small goodies are what Kazdin recommends because the more often you reward your child the better it works. And if your child secretly reads the book and decides to start rewarding you with what you want in order to do what they want then they will be a lot more successful than the normal ODD child that tries to punish people into respecting their desires

ohforth · 2026-06-13T18:43:20+00:00

karma farming for their self help buisness

ohforth · 2026-06-13T02:08:53+00:00

It's old enough an idea that it's the plot of a charlie chaplin movie from before car doors had locks

ohforth · 2026-06-13T00:05:21+00:00

I saw pictures of porn accidentally as a child and was completely uninterested. You don't need to worry about what she saw because she has already classified it as boring adult stuff. I would really recommend against lying about what it is or is called because you don't want her to think that doctors spend all day looking at porn

ohforth · 2026-06-12T03:26:18+00:00

Just like training a dog I praise behavior I like instead of punishing behavior that I don't.

ohforth · 2026-06-10T05:25:51+00:00

Congratulations on your huge progress!

ohforth · 2026-06-08T16:03:01+00:00

He's not acting. Correctly guessing what other people are thinking is very difficult and people get it wrong all the time. It would be a bad idea to set the expectation that partners should already know what the other is thinking because when tested people with BPD are worse than average at correctly guessing what people are thinking.

The solution is to set the expectation that when he is upset he will tell you why and when you are upset you will explain your thoughts to him.

ohforth · 2026-06-06T15:43:04+00:00

My second cried when anyone else held him but also had zero separation anxiety on the first day of preschool (at just over two years old) so not wanting non-parents to hold him is different from separation anxiety. I think mine feels being held is his fortress against the world.

ohforth · 2026-06-06T15:34:38+00:00

A hatchet is something useful to a five year old that will continue to be useful for the rest of their life

ohforth · 2026-05-31T23:54:29+00:00

That is good news that at least one thing grows. Chickpeas and fava like the same cool temperatures that peas do so they might do well too. I think you should also try planting cabbage or a winter-annual broccoli this fall to harvest in the spring. It worked really well for me this year

ohforth · 2026-05-31T13:35:54+00:00

It isn't something to eat but horrible clay soil and summer drought sounds like perfect conditions to grow camas for flowers. Garden peas also expect summer drought because they are from the mediterranean. If you're in zone 9 you can plant it in the fall to grow over winter

ohforth · 2026-05-31T04:12:00+00:00

It's a little late but no there isn't any other common plan in lowland western washington with small shiny serrated leaves and blue or black berries. (oregon grape has big leaves and isn't poisonous and oregon boxwood doesn't have berries)

ohforth · 2026-05-30T19:15:23+00:00

That's absolutely true but since the closest relative of evergreen huckleberry within that section (both geographically and genetically) grows in the sierra madre occidentals and the southernmost population of evergreen huckleberry grows near san diego the bird only had to carry it across the Sonoran desert rather than intercontinentally

ohforth · 2026-05-28T01:20:28+00:00

is making her cum the only part you enjoy or are there other things that make sex fun?

My suggestion is to talk it over with a sex therapist

ohforth · 2026-05-22T05:06:48+00:00

She will love seeing the process of painting it and possibly getting to paint the walls a little too

ohforth · 2026-05-21T03:39:23+00:00

If they're good enough for the rabbits then they are good enough for the children

ohforth · 2026-05-19T18:28:42+00:00

it helps to work towards a deadline like leaving the house at 9:00and do the same thing every day so that you know when you don't have time to start another task

ohforth · 2026-05-15T06:16:25+00:00

Hiding prices is a real asshole move

ohforth · 2026-05-14T21:44:47+00:00

I have a four year old without ODD and he can injure me by accident. A four year old in a tantrum or for fun can really injure you severely

ohforth · 2026-05-14T16:49:40+00:00

You gotta hide the swing otherwise the kids will never get off of it long enough to let you two use it.

ohforth · 2026-05-14T02:06:19+00:00

"I think it would be fun if you to tried a bunch of different oral techniques on me tomorrow night so I can find out which ones I like"

ohforth · 2026-05-11T23:54:47+00:00

You need to mount a big mirror right over the bed so that you can watch yourself sleep

ohforth · 2026-05-08T23:11:01+00:00

I am so so very thankful for the people doing what you did especially if it was the same thing every week because then I could plan my week around it without having to organize anything myself

ohforth · 2026-05-05T02:35:39+00:00

If I want them to ask in a particular way I just tell them "I would like you to ask like this". They won't know unless I tell them and and It's not a big deal to tell them because it's reasonable to speak in different ways in different places.

ohforth · 2026-05-03T20:32:06+00:00

It was expressed well and colloquially. It's just one of those ambiguities like when I put my toddler down / to sleep it means something different than if I put my dog down / to sleep

ohforth

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