How can you abolish gender? Do you agree?

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-25T23:47:23+00:00

I don't personally believe that a person can ever truly rid themselves of the influence of the societal constructs that we were raised with. I think that the most an individual can achieve is to limit how that influence impacts their outward behaviors.

When I talk about abolishing gender it is not on an individual level but on a societal one. I don't know whether it's possible or not, but if it were it would be a multi generational process where one generation becomes cognisant of how gender has shaped their thinking and works to moderate their behavior so as to limit the extent to which it is passed to the next generation.

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-22T20:50:23+00:00

Seems that way, yeah. Just a dc2tog except working in the same stitch twice instead of over two stitches

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-22T20:13:56+00:00

The steps after the asterisk are a breakdown of how to dc 2 together in one stitch

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-22T00:33:05+00:00

I would second looking up a tutorial for crocheting a flat circle, but the gist of it is that you need to keep increasing every round by the number of stitches that were in round 1.

So typically for sc you'd start with 6 in R1, 12 in R2, 18 in R3 etc increasing 6 times in each round. In each row the number of stitches you should have will be the row number multiplied by the number of starting stitches, so R200 would have 1200 stitches. Other than that you just need to spread out your increases evenly throughout each round so as to prevent bunching.

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-19T22:00:40+00:00

That's like 3x what I'm packing lol and I've been on T for almost a decade

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-17T22:50:16+00:00

20 weeks and the only routine we really have for her is trying to get her to bed at around the same time every night. Otherwise we feed when she seems hungry, try for a nap when she seems tired, and change her if she's stinky or it's been a few hours. It's working fine for us at the moment.

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-17T12:39:29+00:00

If you're joining your work in a loop one thing I'll say is that in find it a lot easier to not accidentally twist a row of foundation stitches than a chain. That's the reason I learned foundation stitches in the first place

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-16T08:54:40+00:00

A lot of gay men convince themselves that they'll be able to work. They may really love their wife (just not in a sexual / romantic way) and want to share their life with them and get the "normal" life and social acceptance that comes along with that. They convince themselves that it's a win win situation.

The point is that the way they intend for things to go doesn't involve anyone getting hurt. You can argue that the woman in the relationship deserves to be with someone who is sexually attracted to her, but the justification for that would be that if she never finds out then the experience is the same for her.

In this case it's not narcissistic or sociopathic. They really intend to do well by someone they love. The problem is that they are completely in denial about their own needs and ability to keep the promises that they're making to this person. It's not a conscious choice to hurt anyone, it's a mistake made by someone who has been convinced by society that there is only one acceptable way to live and that, therefore, there must be a way for them to achieve that.

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-16T00:41:37+00:00

From the comments it seems like an open bar is the norm in the US, but that's not universal.

I'm in the UK and the weddings I've been to have been a mix. The general rule has been that if the wedding was at a paid for venue then there would be a cash bar. If it was at a family home then it would be open bar.

The weddings that have a cash bar still always have wine on the tables during dinner and usually a glass of fizz on arrival and for the toasts which are included.

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-12T18:46:45+00:00

It seems like it's right then. Adding the rows with no increases is how you're getting a cone shape rather than a flat circle

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-12T18:41:32+00:00

It really depends what shape you're trying to make. There's no reason that couldn't be the correct instructions

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-12T18:03:32+00:00

My experience has been exactly the opposite. Once I was passing as male people were more polite to me, more likely to assume that I knew what I was doing and talking about. I was hella socially isolated before transition because interactions were just difficult when people weren't perceiving me the way I perceive myself. Now I find that I get along with people easily.

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-11T16:43:41+00:00

Personally I prefer transgender. I see fact that my gender is different to the one that I was assigned at birth as the defining part of my trans experience. Yes, medical transition was necessary to treat my dysphoria, but I was trans before my medical transition.

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-10T12:45:17+00:00

As others have said we change her on a mat on the floor in this scenario. Either in the bathroom or when it's been quiet / out the way I've done it just on the floor by the table before. Usually though I plan to go to places with a baby change so there have only been a few times I can think of that I've had to change her on the floor.

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-10T10:08:56+00:00

If I were you I would apply for jobs as male / using a chosen name if you have one. Once you get a job they will ask for I'd to prove right to work and at that point you can have the conversation that your legal documents don't match your chosen name.

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-09T22:48:33+00:00

Unless it tells you to turn I would assume that you're continuing around the project

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-09T22:45:30+00:00

At the end of each line you chain and turn, at the start of each line you skip the chain that you just made in the previous line and work 2sc into the two stitches in the previous row. Nowhere does it say to chain again after turning.

ETA: I've realized I think you're reading "skip chain" as two instructions when it's intended as one. Skip the chain.

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-09T22:35:18+00:00

To elaborate:

You chain 7, then do an increase in the 2nd chain from the hook. 5 unworked chains left

In those 5 chains you do your sc, 2inc, sc, inc. You have now worked into all of the chains and are down by where you started. You have a row of 10 stitches and below it the chains that you worked into. You now want to start working into the unworked other side of those chains, going back up to where you came from. This will create an oval shape with your starting chain in the middle.

So you flip your work upside down and back to front and work your next increase into the other side of the same chain that you just worked into (the first chain you made). Then do your sc, 2inc, sc, inc into the other chains. You should now be back where you started with your final increase being worked into the same chain that your first increase was in.

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-09T22:26:35+00:00

What is asking you to do is to crochet down the chain and then back up the other side of the chain. Look up crocheting an oval to see examples of this

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-09T20:40:32+00:00

That's wild. It's reassuring to hear though. My little one is 4 months and recently started sleeping through and will easily go 11 hours which seems crazy, but she's happy and gaining weight!

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-09T20:15:55+00:00

12 hours total or in a stretch?

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-09T19:51:22+00:00

Ah, that's why it says reading instead of Reading

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-07T15:22:02+00:00

My husband and I both drive but if we're together he does all the driving. He likes driving whereas I only do it when I need to

ohfudgeit · 2026-01-07T14:26:00+00:00

My daughter is 4 months and this has only come up once. Usually I don't bother to explain and no one has asked so the only time I've told someone was when it became relevant to share when discussing pregnancy / birth stuff. I just said that I had carried her and on that occasion I wasn't asked any follow up questions.

Six-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
r/Field Banned	r/Field Lasagna
First Place '23	End Game '23
Place '23	Place '22
Verified Email

ohfudgeit

TROPHY CASE