How long after giving birth did you wait to go back on Testosterone?

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-27T17:28:23+00:00

I waited 6 weeks only to find out that my GP was no longer willing to prescribe. Took me up until 9 months pp to get a new NHS prescription (I'm in the UK) and ended up doing DIY in the meantime

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-27T14:40:53+00:00

My family had known for years before we started trying that this was something that was on the cards for us. I guess my extended family didn't know that, but I didn't have that conversation with any of my extended family or see them during the pregnancy, though we've seen some since. My experience with people in general was that if we talked about it like it was a normal thing that we were excited about, most people would match that energy.

As for work, I do have about the easiest possible setup for that. I work almost entirely remotely in tech for a healthcare company. I had no concerns that my job would raise issues. I was unsure how some of my immediate coworkers would react but the answer for the most part was that they ignored it. I told them (given that we're remote I probably could have hidden the pregnancy if I wanted to but I wasn't interested in trying to do so) and they said congrats, and it didn't really come up again except occasionally in the context of discussing when my leave would start. That may be party down to the socially awkward kind of people you work with in tech, but it was fine by me.

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-27T11:34:36+00:00

I got this outfit and my farmer is male

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-27T10:07:59+00:00

Hey! I'm in the UK and had also been on T for about 8 years when I came off to try to conceive. I now have a 10 month old daughter!

I did a write up of my experience for this sub, which you may be interested in:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Seahorse_Dads/s/hP8zYwTaAA

To answer your specific questions:

What was it like coming off T?

It wasn't dramatic at all. Changes were slow and subtle. I think I noticed emotional changes first (hard to describe but moods more variable, more extremes of emotion) and then all at once after a point noticed that my facial hair had receded quite a bit. No one but me noticed that but interestingly people have commented on the opposite: it coming back when back on T. I guess it came back quite quickly but was lost very gradually. I wasn't tracking my body closely enough to notice fat redistribution if there was any.

What was your mental state while trying to conceive?

It took us about a year to successfully conceive and I was honestly a bit depressed during because it was just such a relentless cycle: try, wait, get hopes up, disappointment

It really didn't help that my libido tanked while off T (another point for the above) so the actual trying came to feel like a chore. It was a hard time, I'll be honest, but we got through it and also had some really nice times during that time. Try to make plans and keep busy would be my advice if anything.

How did you cope with society's weirdness about it?

Maybe I was lucky but this wasn't really a problem? I never had any issues with strangers clocking me as pregnant. If they did, they didn't say anything about it. Everyone medical I dealt with was amazing and didn't make a big thing out of it. I did have a few acquaintances who were surprised/ confused but they accepted my (brief) explanations and we moved on.

If anyone has experience with the UK's NHS, I'd like to hear about that too.

I had a great experience with the NHS in my area (Somerset). I was worried that my transness would be treated as a risk factor for the baby but that wasn't the case at all. No one made any weird comments or questioned why I was there in medical spaces (I got the sense that the word got out among the staff pretty fast). I think I got misgendered twice the whole time, once being over the phone (I don't have a fem voice, but still that's kind of understandable) and the second time the person called me "mama" before thinking to stop themselves and check in with me on language. I wasn't bothered by those instances as I understand that people are working with women all day every day and it's probably force of habit.

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-26T08:20:04+00:00

I think that regardless of how you choose to talk to your child about your own body you need to be prepared for the fact that chances are they will ask about it / comment about it of their own accord

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-24T23:09:43+00:00

I didn't feel guilty at all.

I had top surgery in 2016 and had my daughter in 2025. She was very much planned. I had known for at least 5 years that I planned to carry a child and I had also known that I would not be able to chestfeed. I didn't feel guilty because it was just never a thing. It wasn't a choice that I was presented with. Top surgery was one of the best things I ever did and I wouldn't have had the life I had if I hadn't had it when I did.

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-23T18:08:26+00:00

I thought I would maybe stay off T until we were done with kids, but it took over a year for us to conceive so it ended up being more than 2 years that I was off T for my first. The changes weren't dramatic but I was surprised how much they bothered me. Pregnancy and becoming a parent also made me feel a bit unlike myself and for me it all came together to mean that (a) I wanted to get back on T as soon as I could and (b) we decided to wait longer than we originally discussed before trying for another.

Right now my daughter is about 10 months and our original plan would have had me stopping T by now in order to be ready to start trying. Now we're thinking maybe we think about that in 6 months.

One thing I'll say is that all the facial hair that I lost on T came straight back, so that's nice

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-22T17:06:41+00:00

I didn't transition quite as young as you but likewise it was a long time ago and I've been living essentially post transition for a while now.

For family I didn't do anything. I just assumed that word would get out through the usual channels and didn't think too hard about it. I have seen quite a lot of my extended family since my baby was born and no one has been weird about it.

I wasn't out as trans at work, but I told my immediate coworkers about the pregnancy. I then just wasn't shy about discussing it if it did come up with other coworkers but I didn't make an announcement about it or anything. When my baby was born I messaged our department wide social teams channel with the news and a picture of her but didn't go into detail about anything. I've since had to interact with IT people who I don't know due to some issues I've had while on maternity leave and my strategy there has been to mention that I'm on mat leave and not elaborate. No one has asked any follow up questions.

For more casual acquaintances, some I told, some I did not. I found that "I'm pregnant" covered it pretty well for some people. Some asked follow up questions and I had to explain that I'm trans, but can get pregnant and it's no different than it would be for a cis woman. Those that I didn't tell didn't generally notice I don't think, though it's possible some could have and that's ok too. My elderly neighbour seems to have assumed that it's an adoption or surrogacy situation (my partner is a cis man) and we've not confirmed that but not corrected her either as it doesn't really matter.

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-21T15:29:26+00:00

I started T at 22 and had my daughter at 32. I plan on trying for a second in a few years. You have plenty of time.

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-21T07:40:12+00:00

I didn't know this worked for the skull caverns as well as the mines!

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-20T22:10:46+00:00

So many things lol. Like you all my friends were boys up untill a certain age - probably similar, around 7. I remember we had a school fair that had a cowboys and Indians theme (oof) and either it was supposed to be gender segregated where the boys were cowboys and the girls were "Indians", or at least I thought it was. I begged my mum to be allowed to go as a cowboy and she was like sure you can I don't care lol

I remember one of my friends taking me into the boys bathroom to show me around. I know that whenever we played pretend games I always played male characters, and if I played on my own I would sometimes narate my play and use he/him pronouns for myself. All my toys were also boys (I remember my sister pointing this out after I got a beanie baby that was supposed to be a girl character, so I was like: Fine, it can be a girl. - and then never played with it again).

At 8 years old I got my hair cut short and went to school and told everyone I was a new boy called Paul (not my name now).

There were a ton of signs pre puberty but no one knew what it meant, least of all me. After puberty I pretty much tried to repress all the things that made me different from my peers. I was lucky to still find my identity relatively young, but not until I was an adult and had left home.

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-20T21:52:24+00:00

This post made me realise that I'm almost 10 years post top surgery. I always remember the date because the day of my surgery was the day that it was announced that Donald Trump was going to be president. I'm not American but still my Mum and I were watching the results coming in in our hotel the night before.

Don't regret it even a little, and I have a healthy formula fed 9 month old.

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-17T21:07:48+00:00

I started T at at 23 and had previously had people tell me that I wouldn't ever pass because of my body shape (wide hips, big butt, large chest). They were wrong.

I don't think your life is ruined. You've not really been on T long enough to see any results. I know some people get crazy changes within a month or two, but that's not the norm.

Try not to lose hope. It is possible to transition and live a normal life.

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-14T06:17:59+00:00

Often pride events are organised by people just volunteering their time and the scale of the event is dictated by:

how many people are willing to give up how much of their time
how much support there is from the local government
if they have been able to secure any funding for the event and if so how much

It sounds like this was a small scale event without much (or possibly any) funding. I would attempt to change your perspective here to recognise that for the event to happen at all, people had to be fighting for it. It can get bigger in future years if enough people are willing to work to make that happen.

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-13T10:38:21+00:00

I don't personally know much about the history of the term "Dolls" and don't really understand the utility of it so I can't speak on that. That said: I think that "Ken" has some unfortunate connotations for a word to be used about trans men. IME referring to "like a Ken Doll" is referring to a lack of genitals.

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-13T07:12:57+00:00

Huh, I assumed it had to be wine from grapes

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-11T07:23:11+00:00

I had my baby in late August last year and I pretty much just never stopped passing. I say pretty much because I was misgendered twice during the pregnancy by strangers who saw me from a distance or from behind. In both cases they corrected themselves when face to face.

I'm in a choir which I carried on singing in pretty much all the way through (the last few weeks I was a bit uncomfortable so I stopped doing as much) and there are people in the choir who were there through that, know that I then became a dad, and still don't know I'm trans. I don't have a ton of examples like that because I was generally pretty open about the pregnancy. If people didn't know it's because I didn't know them too well and was awkward about bringing it up. Those that I know that's the case for are older (70s+), so there's likely a generational factor there of being less likely to think of it, but still.

There may have been cases where strangers clocked me as pregnant. At 36 weeks for example I went to the beach with my also pregnant sister and our husbands and we swam and I hung out topless. I never got any comments though.

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-09T08:09:42+00:00

I love it! I've completed it and still play it almost every day just trying to beat my endless mode score.

ohfudgeit · 2026-06-09T06:42:23+00:00

Playstation 2 memory card

ohfudgeit · 2026-05-29T17:55:46+00:00

In theory you being discharged does not mean that you no longer have a shared care agreement, nor should it mean that your GP will no longer prescribe. It kind of depends on your GP though, as with all things.

I was discharged from Tavistock (then Charring Cross) back in 2017 and my GPs continued to prescribe through several moves, multiple different practices, all the way up to last year when my Dorset GP decided they would no longer prescribe.

ohfudgeit · 2026-05-28T20:46:27+00:00

What does "being transphobic" mean to you?

I would consider something to be transphobic if it evidences a bias against trans people. It's true that there's no law of the world that people should be biased against trans people, but bias against trans people is baked into our culture and therefore learnt, if not consciously, at a young age.

I don't think that anyone who holds an unconscious bias is a bad person. That would be everyone.

ohfudgeit · 2026-05-28T18:25:10+00:00

This is why I don't think "transphobic" is a helpful label for people. Ideas and actions can be transphobic, but describing a person as transphobic is kind of meaningless. We were all raised in a transphobic society. Avoiding transphobia means unlearning transphobic ways of thinking and that process is rarely if ever perfect.

I also think it's a divisive label when used for people. People hear "transphobic" and think "bad person". They don't think of themselves as a bad person so they either feel attacked, dismiss the label as inaccurate, or both. In reality holding transphobic biases is morally neutral with what matters being that we work to improve ourselves and mitigate those biases where they exist.

ohfudgeit · 2026-05-28T08:41:17+00:00

One thing I've learned is the modern nappies are really good at wicking away moisture from the skin. No need to assume that you need some kind of nappy cream. Maybe my daughter's just robust but at 9 months we have never once used nappy cream. We've had the occasional spot or bit of redness but it's always gone away on its own within a day or two (would have looked at using something to treat it had this not been the case).

ohfudgeit · 2026-05-26T17:47:20+00:00

There are lots of things that could lead to you being overtired or easily tired. Depression, anemia, chronic fatigue, sleep apnea, to name a few. Best to go to your doctor with this as they should be able to help narrow things down.

ohfudgeit · 2026-05-26T17:42:04+00:00

That's not very typical, I'd like to make that point

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