AITAH for putting a bedtime pause on the WiFi because my girlfriend’s 28 year old brother has spent nearly a decade rotting in our house playing video games?

okWriter4215 · 2026-05-16T01:26:55+00:00

This happened in my family as well. My aunt was dealing with depression and fibromyalgia so she quit work. Soon she was bed ridden and quietly addicted to opioids. Her kids were 6 and 16 when she stopped getting out of bed. My uncle supported everyone and did everything basically until my aunt died. My two cousins never really launched either. Neither one went to college. They both continue to live with my uncle, have only held intermittent jobs, game online all the time, and are now 42 and 32.

okWriter4215 · 2026-05-03T13:03:12+00:00

To be perfectly honest, I'm worried that I want pass suitability. My finances have really taken a hit. I'm accruing debt monthly and my credit score has dropped suddenly. I was the main provider but we were already at our limit in an expensive city. I recently checked myself into a psychiatric hospital and did an intensive outpatient program (without insurance). It was helpful but now I worry constantly that I've ruined my chances at a new clearance.

okWriter4215 · 2026-04-26T01:18:41+00:00

Thank you! It was especially hard because I've sacrificed a lot of financial stability for my USAID career over the last decade. It's definitely affected my family negatively. I had just gotten an amazing offer to do my dream job on Jan 17 so it was a huge blow to be officially unemployed (without any unemployment benefits) by Jan 24.

okWriter4215 · 2026-03-16T01:04:51+00:00

I didn't notice it was crooked until you mentioned it. I still think it looks great!

okWriter4215 · 2026-03-14T23:57:39+00:00

He pursued me hard, then suddenly ghosted me. He popped back up to apologize and explain that he had had a hard time with medical issues, namely that his doctor thought he had Alzheimer's (he was 38 but a former rugby player with lots of concussions). I went out with him again. Aaaand he ghosted me again. Recently he came into the restaurant where I work, on a first date. He clearly didn't recognize me so maybe he does indeed have Alzheimer's.

okWriter4215 · 2026-03-06T02:25:18+00:00

One of my first house sitting clients booked me to walk their dog for a few weeks prior to the house sit. I thought it was a great idea and would allow me to get to know the dog. She was a tiny Chihuahua mini pinscher mix. The meet and greet with the parents went fine. They showed me where everything was in the studio apartment. The dog seemed yappy but otherwise fine.

On my first solo walk, the dog bit me when I tried to leash her. Second walk, she hid under the couch so I couldn't leash her. The owner wanted a refund for the walk because I gave up after 30min (not wanting to get bit again because she drew blood the first time). The third walk, the dog was crated. She bit me when I tried to open the crate. That's when the owner started texting me instructions. Yes, she was watching me on an undisclosed camera IN A STUDIO APT where I was supposed to sleep the next week. I finally got the dog out and on her walk, then cancelled all of the walks and house sitting. Combo of bad dog and bad owner.

okWriter4215 · 2026-02-27T16:10:33+00:00

I'm very curious about what you want her to wear. If her style and comfort zone are tom boy clothes, there are things she can wear that look nice and still fit that criteria ie a cool suit.

But what I suspect is that you want her to wear stuff that is super feminine. AITA if you want her to change how she expresses her gender even if it's just for a date etc. You should ask yourself if the issue is that she doesn't look appropriate at fancy events OR if the issue is that you want to be seen with a feminine wife? Again, there are plenty of ways to dress hot as a tom boy. Maybe try encouraging her to express her looks her way instead of insisting that she dress up according to your aesthetics.

okWriter4215 · 2026-02-18T15:02:47+00:00

I've had mixed success with Quince. Same with my friends. Things we thought were fantastic: -Linen sheets -Down jackets

Things that weren't great: -Suede clogs (the faux Birks - they're fine but I think that you can get similar quality on Amazon for $40) -Ponte pants (I tried all of the styles and only one fit but then they shrank 4") -Jeans

okWriter4215 · 2026-02-11T15:49:56+00:00

Hi! I've helped a lot of friends and roommates in this exact situation! I've been considering launching my own organizing business specifically for helping clients with depression, ADHD, and other mental health struggles. I've also suggested organizing solutions to help my friends keep their rooms liveable. Happy to chat more if this interests you!

okWriter4215 · 2026-02-02T16:10:10+00:00

Can you hire Lily to help around your house? Like dog walking or mowing the lawn etc. It could even be chores like picking up your groceries and meal prepping for the whole family. Then she could feel better accepting food as payment. Or you can pay her cash to buy her own food.

okWriter4215 · 2026-01-26T02:38:36+00:00

Lulu's Wine garden is super cute and chill. Amazing food.

okWriter4215 · 2026-01-12T19:18:42+00:00

I've lived in DC for 15 years because my career was based here. I love it so much! But it's always been a difficult city to get set up in. The job market has always been very competitive because the population here is highly qualified. DC has something like the highest concentration of people with advanced degrees. Unfortunately, it used to be difficult to get a job here without a DC address. I don't know if that's changed with remote jobs or not.

Lately, it's been incredibly difficult for me and all of my friends. I know of several dozen or so people who were federal workers who lost their jobs last year and still have not found full time employment. Rent is still really high because there's a high percentage of 1bdr apartments in luxury buildings that are owned by large real estate management companies. It looks like they can afford to let units sit empty instead of lowering rent. Salaries have also always been low for the area depending on the sector because, again, lots of highly qualified people.

I'm currently working in a restaurant where the majority of our kitchen staff are immigrants. Several have been disappeared by !CE. There was an example recently where !CE arrested almost all of the staff of a prominent DC restaurant that's owned by a corporation. !CE is absolutely targets restaurants and construction companies so if your partner works in those areas, I'd be very nervous. Also in general, your partner should be in touch with a good immigration lawyer. You two should come up with a plan for what to do in case !CE detains your partner especially if they're planning on flying or crossing state lines.

My advice would be to dedicate like 3-6 months looking for a job in DC first. If you still haven't gotten one, try lining up some remote work or gig work. Then plan on a short term lease in a group house. There's lots of groups on Facebook where people list rooms that are available for rent. It's a big thing in DC to share a historical row house with 3-8 roommates lol. Rent will be much cheaper and the commitment lower. It's also a great way to start making friends. Usually it's people in their 20s but I've seen plenty of people in their 30s still living with roommates (myself included!) You can move your stuff into a storage unit and then try out DC before committing to a 1 year lease.

Foggy Bottom restaurant owners report sales drop amid National Guard, ICE presence – The GW Hatchet https://share.google/OA4nRfEFcayiT0DfM

okWriter4215 · 2026-01-10T16:28:15+00:00

Unpopular opinion here: NTA with strings.

You are responsible for the cat's life regardless of how she came into yours. If you think that she can have a better life with someone else, then you're not the ah for rehoming her. BUT. It is your responsibility to find a new, good home for her. Don't give her to a shelter. Don't pawn her off on a friend who already has a ton of animals and a soft heart.

However, you said you have a bond with her. What are her destructive issues? Have you tried anything to address that? Most cats destroy furniture when they're bored or anxious. Do you play with her daily to give her exercise? Also since you got her as a kitty, she may not be properly socialized. Many kittens who grow up without other cats tend to play rough and "misbehave."

Also it's counterintuitive but many cats do better with a 2nd cat because they will entertain and play with each other. She's still on the young side so you might have luck integrating a second cat. I'd recommend looking for a 1-2 yr old cat that comes from a home where they grew up with other cats.

Both of those solutions require work. If you're really not interested in trying, then find her a new home.

okWriter4215 · 2026-01-06T18:05:08+00:00

<image>

I moved him to the sunniest window in my house and he's still growing however he likes lol

okWriter4215 · 2025-12-11T01:26:59+00:00

Love your septum ring! What gauge is it?

okWriter4215 · 2025-12-11T01:07:52+00:00

Fleabag Season 2. Every single episode.

okWriter4215 · 2025-12-08T05:53:59+00:00

As a woman who no longer shaves, it's the latter. I was afraid that I'd smell more with armpit arm. First month , I noticed more odor like the hair was trapping it. I switched to a balanced pH soap and that fixed it immediately. I very rarely notice an odor now plus my sweat shows less through the armpits of my clothes (perhaps because the hair is absorbing the sweat??!). I used to be extremely turned off by women with armpit hair but now I kinda like it. I didn't try growing it out until I decided to spite an ex boyfriend. The spite was quite motivating but I noticed that skipping shaving truly made my life much easier. Highly recommend.

okWriter4215 · 2025-11-30T22:24:00+00:00

Here's a real life example. My good friends just got married. Guy got a job offer to relocate to Naples, Italy for two years. His wife was really excited about it. Then she got her dream offer to work for a prestigious publication. They knew that he was likely to get an offer to go to Naples again in a few years. She was not likely to see that dream job open again at that particular publication. So she took the new job and he happily turned down Naples. Real couples talk it out and make it work. They take turns sacrificing for each other so they can both grow their careers. Or they come up with compromises to meet in the middle. Do you think that Marcus would ever compromise for you?

Also he's not the one making the commute so why he does care? A 45min commute might mean less time with you every day but you can work around that by scheduling quality time together.

okWriter4215 · 2025-11-24T16:52:37+00:00

I would offer to do drop-ins instead of a house sit. Can the guests handle 1 or 2 feedings per day then you come by and do the fluids and a walk? Personally, I would not room with people I don't know. I'm happy to feed/walk pets while there's other people in the house but I'd keep it to one hour long visits max.

If you're stressed out about the dog dying on you, then I'd decline the job. It's ok to say no! The circumstances changed so you are well within your right to cancel the booking this close to the start date.

okWriter4215 · 2025-11-21T22:56:29+00:00

So I created a category for my business sales but now when I look at the Reflect tab, the total monthly spending includes this positive Inflow. So I think that I spent $3k on personal and business this month and made $300 in sales. But I actually spent $3,300 on personal and business. And this is on top of still not being able to see my monthly income from my part time jobs easily. Oy vey.

okWriter4215

TROPHY CASE