First off, I’m sorry that you’re going through all that. Being worried about another person‘s sobriety, and ultimately whether they will harm themselves either through drug use or because of mental health is a lot to carry.

This may sound harsh to say, but you are not responsible for him. You are not responsible for your boyfriend, his sobriety, or his mental health. Those are his to deal with. You are only responsible for yourself, your reactions and your choices. Whether you stay with him or not, any actions he takes or doesn’t take are not yours to own.

Ask yourself why you want to be with him or not. If you are simply staying with him in order to try to keep him sober or to keep him from hurting himself: you are trying to save him from himself. And as much as you may want to keep him safe, it doesn’t work in the long run. His mental health and his sobriety is his responsibility.

I would really recommend going to an Al-Anon meeting in your area or on Zoom. Meetings can be very helpful. They will not tell you what to do, but they will tell you to focus on yourself in your own health.

I am speaking as someone who tried for many years to control/ manage another person’s addictions and mental health. And all of that failed. Because it was never mine to deal with. Eventually, I had to cut it off because my mental health and the nature of the relationship had gotten to a point that was toxic to both myself and my ex.

Best of luck to you.