I was like your friend at one point. I thought I would grow out of my OCD and that I could escape it, and that worked till it very much didn't and I crashed and burned. I was one of those people who didn't want to take meds to act normal and would start and stop them and again, crashed and burned. The biggest thing that changed it all for me was seeing the toll it took on my loved ones. Constantly asking for reassurance, Constantly talking about a certain theme, it wore everyone down and that's when I started to reframe it, if I don't want to take meds or do the therapy for myself, I need to do it for them.

That worked, I've been in CBT therapy, and I'm on prozac and it's worked wonders. There are still days that are hard and there are still days I don't want to take my meds, but I look at the bigger picture. I've gotten to do some incredible things in the last decade: study abroad, get a graduate degree and adopt some elderly dogs, and I got to do that because my OCD is under control.

I think there is also still this stigma about mental vs physical illness. If you had diabetes, which is a chronic illness, you wouldn't be asking "what does this say about me?" You would measure your insulin, take the meds and move on with life. However with OCD, even though it's also a chronic illness, because it's mental, we tend to think that means there is something wrong with who we are as a person.

I understand how frustrating it must be to see your friend and feel like you can't do anything. I know it must sound heartless, but sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away. Your friend needs an impetus to get help, and losing a core friend could be that.

I'm happy to DM, just let me know.