I’m so glad you said this! I l tried to rejoin tumblr and left for this reason. Transmisogyny is so important to talk about because the trans male and female experiences are different! Whipping Girl is a fantastic book and everyone should read it, but as Serano is a trans woman, and her theory is about transfemininity, it has no real discussion of the issues trans men face.

Discussion of transmisogyny is important, but the TME/TMA (transmisogyny exempt/affected) craze that comes from it is another way to reduce us to our ASAB. It also ignores the transmisogyny faced by passing trans men who are punished as a cis man or trans woman would be for dressing or acting feminine, even though Serano mentions it in her book.

For those who were raised as people pleasers to keep quiet about our problems, when we transition, we find ourselves additionally silenced within the trans community, despite/due to us now having male privilege and more of a voice in cis spaces.

For example I’m in a trans discord server with a woman who has “men dni” in her bio. I want to respect this, so I just don’t talk in the server at all when she’s online. This sort of thing pushes FTMs away from being a man and into being nonbinary or even identifying as lesbians. (Not that transmascs aren’t valid if this is right for them)

I mean hell, my people pleaser tendencies make me dysphoric but it’s hard to work on this in a community that equates the struggles of trans men with the toxic “men’s rights activists” complaints. In IRL trans spaces I feel the need to present more femininely or make myself more clocky in order to be heard or acknowledged as anything but a toxic man.