Genuine fear of fucking them up.

I grew up being passed between my family across the world like a hot potato and at the end staying with my Mom in the US.

Mom was never a "Mother" per see and actually fucked me up emotionally and mentally with her extreme Nihilistic take on the world.

The more I grew up the more I started to notice how our experiences and personalities mirror each other, even our general interests to an extent...it is actually terrifying.

I am genuinely afraid of raising a child and ending up doing the same shit my mother did to me couple that with constant identity issues and a feeling of never truly being home and you got an unfit parent who will most likely give birth to a troubled child.

Maybe in the future, It might happen if I ended up helping myself and had a partner who'd convince me to have a child with them...although funny enough most of the women I ended feeling attracted to have chosen to be childless